I went to Midland, one of the many malls in penang that sells pirated softwares and programs and games and shit. After buying 2 software cds, tiba-tiba sakit perut. So I scoured around for the cleanest jamban(you knowlah our legendary public toilets) Yes, I have standards especially when it has to do with direct contact with the most sensitive part of my body (Saiful Bukhari should learn a thing or two from me).

15 minutes passed and my almost non-existent arm hair tensed and relaxed, tensed and relaxed, like a orchard full of Narnia trees. Apparently the cleanest toilet I managed to find had multiple holes on the partition. 4 ergonomically tested holes. One hole levelled to an average men's eye level and the three others were strategically drilled around the genital region when one sits down on the WC and one of the three holes was about 5 cm in diameter. I don't have to tell you what usually happens in toilets like these... I mean, if you want to I could. Haha.

I covered the holes with tissue papers, rubbed my knees rhythmically, and passed motion. Another guy went in the next cubicle. Big deal. Wait. Check tissue balls. Ok, secure.
Out of the blue, he splashed water all over the tiled floor and let the hose running for a few seconds. Soon after the splashapade, my three tissue balls popped like angelic canon balls and an erect uncircumsized penis emerged from the biggest hole. Strangely enough, this act of voyuerism didn't scare me at all. I coughed. "That's it?"

That was enough to scare the little chinese frankfurter away. Shrivelled and defeated, it backed away and dissapeared. I washed myself gingerly, flushed and exited the cubicle to wash my hands. The guy who occupied the cubicle came out and looked at me through the large mirror.
"That's it?" he asked.

"You don't impress me much" I said discretely, realizing quickly that I borrowed a line from Shania Twain. (You have the move but have you... got the touch?... )

"You don't like?" He asked, carving a disgusting smile on his thin lips.

Aiseh this guy....
"12 cm only, a chihuahua's is probably bigger than yours." I have scaled sight. All architecture students possess scaled sight. I left the toilet humming the rest of the song and during the lapse of lyrics, I prayed. "Moga-moga itu ah chai dapat girlfriend secepat mungkin... Amin."


kaoru said...

OMG what a horrifying experience , yerlaa cam leh kener rogol jerk. luckily u acted cool which is how do u do that by the way in that kind of situation.

Sib baik laa x jadi apew2

afiq said...

I'm taller, bigger and is probably in better shape than he is. I would have probablu take him out if he tried to do anything fonney..

Anonymous said...

dat was a kewl + firmed response :)
alwiz be careful .. and God Bless