To say that I just woke up is an understatement. But I just woke up from a horrible dream. I dream I dread since I understood the concept of dream. It is not as literal but all the same, with the same implication (or the lack of it) and the same sequent of events.
The dream: My head is a stone orbiting around a force of gravity. There are two other heads: Nobita and Doraemon's. My head orbits for centuries, facing either Nobita or Doraemon or both. I wait and wait as my stoned head nears the centre of gravity. After eons of orbiting, fear is no longer present. Anticipation loses its freshness. Joy is the end of the line. Happiness poses as the certain death.
For a year or so, that is exactly what I felt. Not literally of course but you get my drift.
Today, I woke up. I am writing again. I am foolish again. I want to want again.
There was no trigger, no ghostly saint that hovers above my sleeping body, no whimsical old man that shared his stories. It came as natural as waking up without that annoying alarm ringtone. But I am now awake, awake as can be.
I will sleep again. That is inevitable but before I do I will live. And live I will.