Waking Up

To say that I just woke up is an understatement. But I just woke up from a horrible dream. I dream I dread since I understood the concept of dream. It is not as literal but all the same, with the same implication (or the lack of it) and the same sequent of events.

The dream: My head is a stone orbiting around a force of gravity. There are two other heads: Nobita and Doraemon's. My head orbits for centuries, facing either Nobita or Doraemon or both. I wait and wait as my stoned head nears the centre of gravity. After eons of orbiting, fear is no longer present. Anticipation loses its freshness. Joy is the end of the line. Happiness poses as the certain death.

For a year or so, that is exactly what I felt. Not literally of course but you get my drift.

Today, I woke up. I am writing again. I am foolish again. I want to want again.

There was no trigger, no ghostly saint that hovers above my sleeping body, no whimsical old man that shared his stories. It came as natural as waking up without that annoying alarm ringtone. But I am now awake, awake as can be.

I will sleep again. That is inevitable but before I do I will live. And live I will.

Best,

Afiq Deen

Missing in Action

Hi hi hello!

Long time no see! I'm Afiq Deen, I am a promo producer and filmmaker. Let's start fresh.

I haven't blog for a while but I feel like I need to, for my own sanity at least. I put out. To make up for the long bouts of silence, here is a picture taken every month of my absence from the blogosphere:

Dizzy Afiq

Pimply Afiq

Sleepy Afiq

Just-came-back-from-work Afiq

Going-to-work Afiq

Visibly drunk Afiq

Morning Afiq

Tipsy Afiq

Football spirit Afiq

Hairy Afiq

New haircut Afiq

Lesbian Afiq

I'm not afraid of no ghost Afiq

Sniley Afiq

Sweaty Afiq

My eyes look off-ish here Afiq

Healthy Afiq

Weekend is over Afiq

Seriously Afiq

I just met a bunch of passionate people at Starbucks. They reminded me of a foolish Afiq, an Afiq lost in the world of adulthood. I miss that Afiq. And oh, that Afiq blogs.

I want that Afiq to come back to my life. So I blog now, thank you very much.

I can't wait to blog again tomorrow.

Goals

I put the pro in procrastination.

Just because you watch a lot of good films and have good taste in film, that doesn't mean you can make a good film yourself. Same goes to food, or whatever else.

A lot of people have this perception that because they are knowledgeable about something  it automatically qualify themselves as excellent executors. This is a flawed notion. Practice makes perfect. Execution executes. Doing does. Doo doo daa daa.

Just like how I came up with all this neo-pseudo shitz but still fail to fully grasp the reality of my own situation.

So, I have came up with a little plain. The Guilt Calendar . I have three of these: exercise, write and read. Three things that makes me think I will be a better person.

These are the Guilt Calendars. Pretty basic.

  I will force myself to write something/anything one hour a day

As well as to read one hour a day, at least.

So far I see improvements. Procrastination is a behavior molded and perfected for years so it is not a walk in the park. Day one exercise! Day 1000 world domination!!!

Starting Over

Have you guys eaten at an Arabic Restaurant. My extended family loves loves loves Arabic food so every once in a while we will convoy to our favourite arabic restaurant to quench our thirst for the diluted taste of Barbican malt.

And every time I'm there, I will always (repeat, ALWAYS!) stumble upon an ultra religious looking Malay family surrounded by the usual rowdy arabs.

So that's that. I'm getting used to blogging again after my hiatus for almost a year. I feel like my old self again and by my old self I am referring to the image of a 15 years old school magazine editor awkwardly writing his very first editorial on Words 2000.

How To Have Fun

In deep discussion with the gang to make the most awesome commercial video.

I used to believe that to have fun, one has to wait for the fun to arrive and act on fun impulse to have fun. I used to think that fun is situational and sometimes, rare coincidence.

As I got older, I realize that fun is a state of mind. I had fun while driving to Subang. I had fun with the family at Serai. I had fun. I was conscious of this way of thinking while I was working. I realized that I was genuinely having fun with work, so much so that everything else paled in comparison. My lightbulb moment came to me. My kind of fun is creating things, anything to be specific (or not).

Give me a pen and a paper and fun will resume. So I sketch my way to bliss and whenever I'm not working, I write jokes and cartoon strips. I'm not a very good cartoonist but that's the easiest way to tell jokes, by drawing cartoon strips.

I also make youtube videos but after some time, many people reacted negatively and discouraged me from making them anymore. Negative comments and swearing is normal in youtube video but I take criticism seriously and trust me, there are loads of dumbasses out there who enjoys condemning people for the sake of it. There were also unrealistic expectations, one of which involving me posting videos every week. Why would I do such a thing? I'm not paid to make silly youtube videos so I make them when I want to.

Recently I integrated real characters I made up in my vlog into my cartoon strips. I think it's a good experiment so I've opened a new blog AFIQOLOGY to publish some of my cartoon strips. It's all good fun and what better way to share it than to blog about it. This is just an experiment, mind you, but as long as it is fun, I will continue doing it.

AFIQOLOGY

Lat the Musical

I just got back from Lat the Musical! It was Boleh Tahan.

I particularly enjoyed the childhood skit. The kids, the kids are really good actors. Better than the adult actors actually! My eyes were on this one extra child actor. He looks like me, he talks like me but he isn't me. His mannerism was spot on and after a brief moment of absorbing the fact that there may be millions of kids who look and act like me, I felt embarrased for myself, and for the boy. I might have spooked him a little for staring at his face for too long. The boy must think that I'm a pedo.

And guess who I met after the show. Mrs. Hew with her tall hair!

Lat the musical was a good deal of fun but it is not something I would give a standing ovation. And yes, the boy. He thoroughly enjoyed performing and I could see that he loved every minute of the musical. That boy will go far. I think he needs a movie role. I want to write him in one of my screenplays.

Can I please become a boy again? Detective Conan could do it, why can't I?

It Has Been A While

It has been a while. I didn't have any internet connection for a month so that is why I am absent from the online world. Updates updates updates, I was recently in KOSMO which is quite cool.

I have been featured in The Star, NST, Berita Harian and Metro but this is my first time in KOSMO so I was pleasantly surpsrised when a dozen people sent me congratulation messages.

I am now working on two PSA for Astro Hitz as the director. It will be produced by D1 Production, a reputable production house. So as a newbie director, I am pretty much in the dark about the process of making a proper television PSA. Here are some sample storyboard to make this blog entry appear visually interesting.

I am really sorry for not posting any youtube videos but there was no internet and I don't go out of my way to do something that is intended for fun and laughs, unless I get paid for it of course!

Living alone is not as fun as I anticipated. Now I make all manner of excuses to visit my relatives in the weekends. If they are busy, I would go catch a movie alone or discuss about Anime at japanese manga/anime shops (I AM AN OTAKU!) In between those mundane activities, I would sit in the corner of a restaurant and stare at the teppanyaki dory fish for a full minute before harpooning it with a chopstick. Repeats process.

When I am at home I work. Work is fun. I have absolutely no complain about my work. This is probably the best work in the world and I am still considered as a freelancer. Imagine how it would be when I work permanently? More awesome fun I reckon.

Oh yes, there will be an afiqsays video this weekend! Weeeeeeee!