Hello readers! If you are a new reader, welcome! If you have followed my recently deleted blog Afiqsays, welcome back! I think an explaination is in order. I deleted Afiqsays because I merajuk-ed at a certain someone.
If you are a close acquaintance or a family member, you would know that my emotional bouts are legendary. Look at any old pictures of me and you will see me sulking like a little kid. One would think that I somehow outgrew my habit of merajuk-ing since I am nearing a quarter century old but flashback 2009: I locked myself in my grandmother's guestroom for three days because everyone had forgotten my birthday. I was 22. Luckily for me, my cousins and aunts are more than adept at curbing my wayward ways. The same cannot be said about my parents.
Since I can remember, both my parents were neither affectionate nor understanding. Their parenting style was crudely mechanical and there was a certain point in their lives where they stopped becoming parents and became individuals, with children. There was no point in locking myself in my room because the outcomes were always the same. They would break into my door and confront me head on.
"Hit me! Punch my face! I know you want to!" my mother woke up the neighbours when I slammed my bedroom door after a long and arduous verbal wrestling. My father scolded me with his belt. It is how things were so there were really no point in sulking but I did it anyway, repeatedly.
Today my sulking is invertly proportional to the girth of my waist. I rarely merajuk but there were still instances where I let my Merajuk Kid persona took over. Funnily enough, it is extremely easy to diffuse my merajuk bomb. What you need to do is to:
1. Tell me that you love me.
2. Prove to me that you love me with a small gift like a card (or something)
3. Insist that you love me when I desist.
But then again, the reason why my parents could not decipher me is not because they cannot but because they have 'principles'. They are principled people. Their pride is unmatched by the likes of me. The very thought of giving way to my sulking is for them the very definition of Losing, even if it means losing me along the way.
Yes, I have long deciphered them. They are individuals, with children.