There are so many things I didn't get to do while growing up. I've always wanted to learn the piano but the lessons were expensive and we moved a lot back then. And the fact that I wanted a lot of things hampered my on and off interest in music.

I am nearing 23 and we all know what that means. I am about to be sucked in a vortex that will force me to get a stable job, get married, receive and pay loans to support my family's physical and emotional needs, you know, the Malaysian Malay preferred standard of living. Some15-20 years later, the vortex will spit me out like an unfortunate remains of a half-chewed spinach. I will be in my mid forties and life will start anew.

I see a lot of people who survived the vortex finally get to do the things they have always wanted to do like learning music, traveling, doing charity work, decorating, you name it! I know a Haji who wanted to be an architect but he was from a poor family and he had a stable government job so he put his ambition on hold. Now that he is 62 years old and all his kids are going off to universities and colleges, he enrolled himself in UIA to take architecture.

But. But I think the vortex is a choice. I can choose to live my life the way I want to without compromising my responsibilities, can I?



c'est la vie!!

lily said...

yup...i think that we are what we choose to be...we don't really have to follow the standard way of long as we know how to manage our lives and not neglect the responsibilities. but sometimes there is no in my situation, i thought of pursuing in arts/music, but due to disapproval from my parents i took law depends on the situation

Afiq Deen said...

so you're saying that our life is situational and easily affected by our surroundings?

That is exactly the thing I'm trying to avoid but just by avoiding it, we're leading our lives with a sense of vindication. I don't sleep well at night knowing that I'm going against the current or with it.


Anonymous said...

of course you can.
it just needs a lot, a lot of planning.
and determination.
plus guts.

Judiene said...

the vortex is actually a phase of life that we all have to face, whether we like it or not
but life after that is what matters
you need to plan your life and i'm kinda like the Haji's idea
he still wanna catch his dream even though he's in his 60s.

diza said...

agreed with judiene...the Haji's life was also in line with the standard of living...he had a job and supported his family well. The only difference is he has the determination and the belief that it is never too old or too late to continue learning. And of course, there is always risk in doing something that is not a common practice. But who are the people to judge?? we know ourselves better. And in most situation, taking risk is one great way of learning and living.

U I or her? said...

r u thinking having a sex change? Just do! hehe

Must be crazy studying in that universiti islam with every body pretending to be islamic and all the while hankering to measure their penis.

Dont know why uia girls got wild reputation. must be the repressive tudungs tends to bring out the heat in them bitches.

U r not going against the current. Nobody actually cares what you think. It is just in your mind fighting your indoctrination. As a child you have no choice but to believe what was taught of you.

But as you grow older you realised it is all just crap.