My Islam, Your Islam

After lunch at Tok's, I decided to survey camera batteries at a nearby shopping complex. I parked my car in front of Sports Toto and spotted a typical Lebai (with serban and kain pelikat) exiting the premise with tickets. I shook my head and walked pass him like a breeze. What I felt inside me however was no breeze. It was a brewing purple cloud with piercing thunder barely penetrating the thick swirls of fury.

This purple cloud, this deep hatred towards displays of Islam-related oxymoronic behaviours had plague me for much of my life. It made me avoid anything deemed as Islamic, prompting me to explore Islam on my own. This is why I took it upon myself to blatantly disregard anything considered Islamic even though I secretly obliged Islam's jurisprudence and customs. This is why I avoided mosques and prefer praying stealthily.

I wasn't being contrary for the sake of it. I was just, you know, torn apart.

Islam was the source of my mother's vindication that scarred my youth. Her bad choices that affected the whole family was all, according to her, a prescribed 'Ad-Deen' way of life.

Islam was written on the badge of my tahfiz jubah I wore when I saw my Ustaz comparing his penis to one of my friend's before taking 'measurements' for a new outfit.

Islam was the excuse used for fellow students who kicked a dying man who fell down from the 2nd floor after he was caught having sex with male student.

Islam, Islam, Islam.

I know. I know Islam played no part in the deterioration of the human condition nor did it assist the devastation caused by it's very name. I know. I do find it funny how I was exposed to a large dosage of muslims' hypocrisy even before I fully embrace Islam. Maybe that's why I think my Islam and their Islam is different.

My Islam wants me to be patient, caring, driven, tactful, critical, innovative and progressive and their Islam wants them to be impatient, caring, complacent, hysterical, critical, ignorant and defensive.

My Islam wants me to learn about life's many mysteries and live my life the best way possible.

Their Islam wants them to learn about Islam and live their life for Islam, in the name of Islam.

I have my religion, and you have yours.

But once in a while I see and meet people who practice Islam the way my Islam taught me how to. People like Yvonne Ridley, Yasmin Ahmad, Lubna, Baba Ali, Outlandish etc. Simple folks who live their life with their Islam.

If all muslims are more like them, I would gladly go to mosques and join congregations. I would be more than happy to hear khutbahs about healthy eating and exercise.

If only, eh?


Anonymous said...

so ur islam is about "eating" and "exercise"!!!


Kan... If only!

Afiq Deen said...

Yeah... if only.

Anonymous bodo.

timbaland said...

i like lubnaa alot.;)

hafizah said...


I live among people that you think islamic people that opposite from you.. i find a new view from you. but if only you see from this side of view, how would you see from others side too. You love to know mysterious of life, then seek first the beauty of Applying Islam as the way of life.. Be friend with them first before you make yourself apart from going to mosque for example.

i am also a teenage as you but it only that we see from different side, but i am glad to read this article as i know you opinion.. besides, what ever we think, we still talk about islam, our religion, be free to hear others opinion too. Hope you happy enjoying your life, and try to go to mosque, not because of the people inside it, but because of ALLAH..

Happy always... May Allah Bless you..

hamba allah said...

You are talking about some Muslims who did not practice Islam's teachings.

So, what's your trauma actually? It was never about the religion.

You are so jaded.

aQilaAini said...

somehow i like this entry :)

thinkpositively said...

Friend you are not alone. Islam is from the arab. As a Malay you will always ask why do I have to do what Arabs 2000 years do? Whip my malay women just for drinking tiger beer, whip malay women for getting pregnant out of wedlock. why does the Government sent people to knock on my hotel doors at night.
Afiq the world need a new islam. the concept of goodness and kindness is what is acceptable to the human civilisation.

Why do Arabs insist on the literal translation of islam? Why do the Arabs pined for the return of their khalifah and addeen? The answer is because Islam originated from them and so it is to their advantage if their keagungan is restored.

Islam has brought about a lot of benefits to Arabs in terms of religious tourism (haj). Even before you have heard of tourism the Arabs are master at it.

Keeping the keys to the house of worship means the keeper can collect fees for it. This has been going on for centuries before Islam. So they must generate interest in their house of worship so that people will flock to it. The concept is so good that people have to queue to go there. And dying there is the best! haha.

Thus that is why Arabs like Osama Laden want to bring down the western civilisation.
He is envious of their power. Their freedom.

It is important for Malays to understand this basic principle. Islam originated from the Arab and its propagation is for their benefit. If you understand this then you realise the mysterious and fearful teaching is geared towards submission of the mind of the listener. Bring them fear so that they dare not think rationally.

Another real example is Nik Aziz. He is the Islamic spiritual leader of the Kelantan Malays. He is tak laku elsewhere in Malaysia.

Now Kelantan can call Nik Aziz their Khalifah? Yes but of Kelantan only. Can Nik Aziz be the Khalifah of the whole Islamic world? Laughable isnt it?Only the uneducated and impoverished part of the world are still strong proponents of organised religion. Just like the impoverished part of Borneo are fertile ground for the dongeng of Catholic Christianity. In Europe, Catholic Christianity is an evil sect,raping and sodomising young boys and lesbian sex among the nuns.

See the similarity with your penis measuring ustaz? Christianity and Islam come from the same source. That is why they are fighting over bethlehem today with the Jews. Jesus Christ was a Jewish rabbi who was against the Romans emperor.

During those times religion was the balm for the common people under the brutality of the Roman emperors. Just like the church was/is for the african slaves in the US.

And to escape from christian persecution, Muhammad Ali or Michael Jackson became muslims. Just like Lina Joy became a Christian to avoid religious persecution. See how similar people behave in a persecuted atmosphere?

Christianity has been used to give the european people false moral superiority over other races. So instead of the Roman being the brutal power, later on the Catholic Church became the cruel colonisator of Malaya, Indonesia, India and and slave owners in America etc. But the common people of europe rebel against the cruelty of the Vatican and thus the world was freed from the european empire.

Your penis measuring islmik ustaz and the catholic sodomising priest are all smart people. Using the fear of religion to indulge in their fun with na├»ve and innocent boys while filling them with the fears of hell…haha…or rather muahahahhaha

The smart people are the one who knew what scare people and manipulate them to do what they wishes. Just like Anwar Ibrahim I guess. Or Zulkifly Ahmad or Yasmin she looked like a man because she was a man and strong enough to carry the actress on hes back. That’s why he had an axe to grind against Malays and Islam and promoting Chinese and Indian culture. He is the anti thesis of Islam. Changing his gender!
No I don’t think he is a good islam symbol..haha.

Afiq Deen said...

Oh Hafizah, trust me, there is no seperation between 'me' and 'them'. I am them.

Hamba Allah, I know.

A bit presumptuous for me to take your comment seriously, thinkpositively.

Yasmin Ahmad was a khunsa and she chose to be a woman.

Bazilah said...

Yeah, funny how Islam is divided by the Muslims' behaviour when Islam itself is supposed to be one. It is the Muslim who divides Islam as they wish and it is the Muslim who declare many ridiculous limitations which are most of the time of an illogical thing to be accepted by our "common sense", up until people can label Islam as a religion of irony.

Nice post by the way~

And yes, if Islam is all about wearing Jubah and Topi Haji but his mouth swears most of the time because of the long queue in public places, then hey, that is when their Islam is different than mine.

Anonymous said...

Alhamdulillah to come in your own meaning of Islam.. Revert. People think they are born Muslim but that does not make them a Muslim.

But there are always room for improvement. If you think you are better now. Later.. best. insyAllah. Mukmin yang sejati as mentioned in the Quran. Ameen.

(Loike button.. hehe).


Probability said...

The problem with you Afiq is the misfortune of being born a Muslim. While Islam was a great religion but that was a few centuries ago.

So that is why you are in this quandary. How to enjoy this, do that when your parents are still tied up with the past.

They indoctrinate you from small with the arabic and fearful hell. So grow up traumatised and hating your own father mother etc those who circumcised your penis when you were still not aware.

And now you miss your foreskin etc..etc.

But at the same time you re lucky. Now is the age of the internet and all that arabic injunction against aurat is kapoosh. You can watch a pussy from russia, a pussy from filipina from arabia with a push of button.

So life is not bad. The lebai is smart. He got some respectability from some people and he get to indulge with probability. Life is a probability. What is the probability of you being born a girl or boy. 50%. Being born an english man ...thats not too difficult for a mathematician to calculate.

So go ahead. build your own Islam and why not your own religion too hehehe.

Anonymous said...

Hey Probability. Any shortcoming that will happen to you. Just consider Allah wants you to watch your language.ok. We don't negative people like you. You make the best typical Malay parent who said "eleh.. berubah.. 2 minggu je". "Semangat je". Seriously.

We are in the air of someone changing here. Aleh2, if he come to conclusion it is wrong. He'll write something about it too (and probably better interpret than anyone else). And you said those words?.MasyAllah..

Anonymous said...

salam writer..
y not u yang jadi org2 g masjid, n then buat pekara2 baik mcm mn yang disyariatkan Islam..
sbb u dah tau yang mana btol yg mana x btol..

writer dear,
Islam itu satu dan syumul..
x boleh kalo u cakap my islam, ur Islam..
prob nya skang ni, yang memburukkan islam tu adalah orang islam tu sendiri sampaikan orang nampak islam ni mcm agama yg x senonoh..espesyeli musuh2 islam..

so, jgn la kita compare diri kita dgn org islam yg x senonoh..
nnt kita akan rasa cukup dgn apa amalan yg ada pada kita..
tp cuba kita compare diri kita dgn org islam yg beribu kali lebih baik..
pasti kita akan merasai betapa indahnya islam itu..
betapa maluna kita sbb kurangnya amalan..
harapnya lepas ni x de lg persepsi my islam, ur islam..sbb islam kita x ada bezanya..

Anonymous ii said...

Anonymous, mcm mana Afiq nak pergi masjid. Apa yang dia bincangkan adalah lebih fundamental lagi.

soal sekularisme. soal mengkompartmenkan ugama dan peribadi.

Bagaimana mahu ke masjid jika tiada apa yang relevan dgn cara hidup sekarang.

Itu yang asasnya. Kerana takutkan neraka maka budak2 seperti Afiq masih memikirkan dirinya islam sedangkan banyak perkara yang ditegah oleh islam dilakukan sekarang.

Seperti mengambil gambar hidup. Membina patung2. Memakai seluar jeans. Menyanyi, bermain muzik rock, yuna, indie muzik, pergaulan bebas lelaki perempuan melalui facebook dan blogs etc.

Ini masalah gaya hidup moden dan ugama arab. Pertembungan antara takut dan seronok ini yang membuat pemuda pemudi Melayu trauma dan membenci Melayu sedangkan Melayu adalah bangsa. Dan soal genetik yang tidak boleh diubah.

Yasmin Ahmad etc semua pelopor gaya hidup alternatif dan cara mereka mengutuk orang Melayu yang fanatik ugama adalah melalui filem yang menunjukan hipokrasi dan impossibiliti hidup ala arab.

Islam ala Yasmin Ahmad lebih disenangi oleh pemuda/i Melayu dari Islam ala Al Qaeda.

Anonymous said...

well anonymous ii, does the word 'katak dibwh tempurung comes into your mind' when you said "Menyanyi, bermain muzik rock, yuna, indie muzik, pergaulan bebas lelaki perempuan melalui facebook dan blogs?"..ok, part music tu maybe debatable. Check ulama' said about music.
And I think.. yes,Yasmin Ahmad a lil anti-Melayu fanatic.. but no, she didn't studied barat-ala-arab..
third, al-Qaeda means Jamban.
I am not so much of blind lover am I? (sorry in english).. in UIA they brainwash us with english.. to make us less malay and more muslim.

Anonymous ii said...

Anonymous in UIA they "to make us less malay and more muslim" I think u mean more Arabic.

UIA = Universiti Ikut Arab?

The UIA is the source of trauma for many young Malays.
They are put into a unreal arabic world. When the arabs culture is waning.

Thus the freedom of choice, of pleasures sit uneasily with them until they decide to form their own Islam.

Which is natural when u think that arab culture of the 4th century is a strange way to live.

This is the 21 century! Disease and natural disaster are more clearly understood so the fear of the unknown of the Arabs are not relevant anymore.

Why English, the language of modern Christianity when the language of heaven is Arabic?

Who said that? The arabs of course and if you believe that you will believe anything...haha

By the way is Lubna that arab confused tudung wearing concert dancing girl..yeah..tipikal confused malay girl.

Anonymous said...

Islam isn't Arabic religion..doesn't you read history..why the Arabics can accept Islam? They can do pray but the thing that made then can't embrace Islam was it is against their culture..Arabic culture..killing baby girls, drunk..etc..

Reading your post..How I thanked to be me..My Islam that I know will bring me SYAHID without any fear!

Maybe.. some people like you too might misunderstanding about Jihad as well ..Oh God! Give them Your Guide that is much better than me..amiin..