There's Kote for Everyone!

Every architecture students knows their way around art supplies stores. After spending 5 years hoarding art supplies stores in the end of each semester, we are self-entitled Jedi Knights of Art Supplies Stores.
When we hear commoners ask "Itu kertas yang shiny-shiny tapi tebal sikit tu ada ka auntie?", we will thought to ourselves "Art paper 200 gsm pun tak tahu. Jahil sungguh!"
We also have our personalised taste when we buy art supplies. I personally like German products because of its quality and durability like Deuter, Faber Castell and Heidi Klum. I like to colour my models the painstaking way so I prefer to paint and coat them. So every semester, I will buy myself a tin of kote.
You heard me right. That's what the Germans calls them, kote!
(Dah lerrr, jangan pura-pura innocent, unless you live in cell like those used by Ah Longs, you should know that kote is a malay slang word for penis.)
Even when their many kind of coats are exported to other countries, they will retain the name Kote. Here are a few guidelines you can remember by when you want to buy your own kote.
For those you like your kote more superior than other kotes, you should use:

If you like it quick and hassle-free:

You like it hot?
But if you like it to be more sturdy and lasting, you should consider buying:

Or if you like it harder and heavy duty than usual, there is always:
If you're the kind who prefers your kote to be aesthetically pleasing with that glazing effect, you should use:

If you're a fan of Tony Hawk or the Yasutoko brothers and like to take anything you do to the extreme, amp it up with:

And while you're at it, do it on the roof with:

But let's say you're a nature conscious person who takes everything into consideration before acting on it, a generation Green vigilante or a macrobiotic evangalist who substitutes meat with meat-flavoured tofu....

Don't ever feel left out because they even have a special kote just for you!

Owh man I feel dirty.
I need to take a cold shower.


Anonymous said...

Kote is also a japanese term used in Kendo (japanese fencing) when you hit someone's wrist.

Being a sweet malay girl i always suppress an internal laugh when I have to scream "kote" really loudly when we practise hitting the wrist. My dad think's it's really funny and hence my new nickname: the kote girl. Yeah, my dad's highly inappropriate like that.

Funnily enough, in Kendo you're suppose to yell "men" when you hit the head.

There's a sequence of hits done during practise, commonly known as the "kote-men"- wrist and head. Imagine a line of fierce kendoka, including yours truly, yelling her little heart out, "kote! men!"

myadlan said...

its just a coating method right..

well, you really make my day dude

Lisa Farhana said...

this is really hilarious! ROFL

ftn amirah said...


YayaEdna said...

this is madness! satu jek post kau kalau tak lawak bleh tak?hahahah...

Sara Z. said...

nicely done man!
mmg rasa sgt kotor pun by the end of the reading.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha kotor sial!!!

azuwa said...

it may looked like 'penis in malay', but I think, after a few learning in Deutsch, the pronunciation isn't like we used to use.

Kote in Deutsch is pronounced like we pronounce 'kota' in Malay, except the 'a' sound behind is changed to [er].

So it wasn't that dirty. In Deutsch at least.

si pendiam said...

someone should tell the germans...wakakakakakaka!

Firman Clark said...

this is really hilarious! ROFL