Ada Apa Dengan Dara

Mr. A is a socially adept young man who religiously hangs out at mamak stalls to watch important football matches.
Ko teruna lagi ke?
Mr. A: Eh, teruna macam mana tu?
Dah pernah ada hubungan seks ngan perempuan.
Mr. A: Apa punya soalan ni bhai? Mestilah... tak. Hahahaha.
Dengan siapa ko first buat?
Mr. A: Dengan ex aku lerr.
Ada beza tak before and after ko pecah teruna?
Mr. A: Ko budget aku perempuan ke bhai? Kita mana ada selaput dara... lagipun memang takde beza lansung sebelum and selepas. Langsung takda. Kalau ada tu maksudnye member kita ni terlebih emo!
Mr. B is a dean's list student who is also an avid japanese anime and mangga follower.
Ko teruna lagi ke?
Mr. B: Ko ingat aku siapa? Selagi aku tak kahwin, selagi tu akan jadi teruna.
So ko budget ko ni baik lah? Hahaha!
Mr. B: Eh ko tanya tanya aku ni mesti ko dah buat! Zina tu Afiq! Zina masuk neraka Jahannamm.
Belumlah, memandai je ko.
Mr. B: Yeye je, kalau tak asal berani sangat tanya benda benda ni. Selalunya orang berani tanya berani buat.
Full Metal Panic baru dah keluar belum?
Miss C is a tudung clad interior design student.
Nak tanya soalan private sikit boleh tak?

Miss C: Hmmmph.. tanya lah.

Apa pendapat you pasal dara? Penting ke dara?

Miss C: Ikut orang jugak Afiq. Tapi personally I think it's very important to be... pure.

How important?
Miss C: Have you seen dramas yang kalau heroin kena rogol, dia gigil-gigil semacam tepi perigi...
...Macam cerita Embun?
Miss C: Hahaha, lebih kuranglah, people like these feel like their harga diri depends on their virginity. Their maruah and family honour.
Are you a virgin?
Miss C: Apa punya soalan ni Afiq? Mestilah!
I'm just asking...
Miss D is a PR student with two constantly vibrating handphones.
You're not a virgin?
Miss D: No, I'm not not.
Who did the honours? You recent boyfriend?
Miss D: Nah, I did it myself.
Can you even do that?
Miss D: Of course WE can!
Gosh, I didn't know that that's even possible...
Miss D: Yea well, you know gymnasts too lose their virginity when they were really really young because they have to stretch and stuff.
But you're not a gymnast...
Miss D: You're cute Afiq.
Different people have different opinions on virginity. Those who had (premarital) sex regard virginity as something trivial and those who are practicing abstinence don't even want to talk about sex, let alone issues regarding virginity.
Most see virginity as a technical term for piercing of the hymen and some see it as a spiritual state of being (like Virgin Mary). Some girls are so keen on protecting their virginity but had to comply to their boyfriends' urges that they resort to anal-sex.
The way I see it, girls lose their virginity when their hymen is penetrated. It doesn't matter how it happened because the result would still be the same.
Men's virginity is only a vague tell-tale knowledge reserved only for himself. There is no physical evidence that can prove a man's virginity anyway and the man's account of his virginity can easily be a palpable lie.
So does this mean that the term Virgin can only be used on women because men have no permanent physical reaction to sex?
(I know that the hymen can be restored by means of medical or traditional surgery but the physical reaction to penetration is still imminent)
As a human being, I know that a girl's virginity does not represent her self worth but as a man, it would be preferable if my future wife is a virgin (if she's not a widow). Am I being biased? I don't know. Maybe I am.


Keanorlinsya said...

I know that a girl's virginity does not represent her self worth

What? Of course it does.

Okay maybe not all virgin behave or act accordingly. Some smoke, some mingle and flirt like nobody's business. But that is way better than a person who looks so ayu and covers up her body and yet have lost her virginity out of her own will.

evangelista said...

when my boyfren n i had sexual intercourse for the 1st time he cant even tell if I was a virgin or not to begin with.He was in fact the 1st person i ever slept with and yet when i asked him so many times after he entered me he can't even tell if i was or wasn't a virgin before I met him.
So the truth is afiq,U can be biased all u like coz i know u have ur standards (who doesnt?)but u still can't tell if she's a virgin or not (even after u entered her) UNLESS she tells you herself. much for ur standards innnit?

emma songall said...

here im totally part C type person.

im not saying you r d'only one biassed man. i think u all (i means BOYs) just like that.

every person wants a perfect mannequin to be their life partner of coz. so do i. tapi apa kan daya "JODOH, AJAL, MAUT di tangan tuhan".

Afiq Deen said...

So what if a girl was raped against her will? Will the traumatic experience in which she has no power to overcome make her worth less than before she was raped?

I think I would know because I read that when girls get penetrated for the first time, they will bleed.

It's not necessary that I choose a virgin wife. It's just preferable. Like chocolates and sweets. Both are delicious confectionaries but I prefer chocolates.

Qarl said...

really like dis post..hehe


Branson's Virgin is an Atlantic, Holidays, Trains, Blue, Limited Edition, America, Charter, Nigeria, Cruises, Hip Hotel, Limobike, Baloon, Limosines, Galactic, Games, Festival, Voucher, Experience Days, Books, Drinks, Wines, 1 Telco, Broadband, Connect, Media, Mobile, Radio, Life Care, Active, Health Bank, Health Miles, Spa, Earth, Green Fund, Unite and

my favourite: Virgin Money...

evangelista said...

Not all girls bleed during penetration..i didnt.And I'm not even a gymnasts like wht D is saying.But then again i guess u'll never know much just by reading..really.
tapi suke ati la kalau nk insist gak yg u can tell she's a virgin or not during ur 1st consummation. just telling u the ugly truth.

Anonymous said...

Not all girls bleed during penetration. Yes it's true. Some girls are born with incomplete hymens, some with septate hymens, some broke their hymens due to active sports

sayapjannaim said...

this post is really sarcastic..

but it is true.

Afiq Deen said...

Right. There's nothing ugly about biological defects of the human body.

And really, do you really take it that I care that girls bleed or not? C'mon woman, channel your anger on chauvinist men else where.

It's interesting that people digest this issue differently. You evangalista see it as a trivial/biological thing. Ritz is just being eccentric for the sake of it. Keanorlinsya see it as an important aspect of self respect. But i havent heard anyone from a religious background yet.. any takers?


Are you sure you wouldn't delete the whole post if it contained my sort of religious opinion?

I try to respect the Blog and the Blogger.

Afiq Deen said...

As long as it doesnt kutuk the blogger..


I found this Purity Test For Straight Virgins (googled it).

I had a friend who was proud to tell people that he had done everything with his GF except for THAT... (MOS= member of opposite sex..). Another friend had 2 GFs one "saved" for marriage and one for THAT.

Enjoy the muhasabah:

1. Have you ever hugged an MOS?
2. Held hands?
3. Kissed on the hand?
4. Kissed on the cheek?
5. Kissed (peck) on the lips?
6. Kissed with open mouth?
7. Kissed with tongue?
8. Kissed for at least 5 minutes?
9. Kissed in the horizontal position?
10. Kissed on a bed?
11. Kissed under the covers on a bed?
12. Kissed in public?
13. Been naked with an MOS?
14. Were they naked too?
15. Been undressed by an MOS?
16. Undressed an MOS?
17. Been in bed naked with an MOS?
18. Were they naked too?
19. Slept in the same bed as an MOS? (Family doesn't count!)
20. Necked?
21. Done ear snogging?
22. Given/received a love bite?
23. Given/received a love bite in an intimate area?
24. Kissed someone below the neck?
25. Kissed someone below the waist?
26. Have you ever had an orgasm whilst kissing?
27. Talked dirty with an MOS?
28. Talked dirty with an MOS whilst doing sexual things/kissing etc.?
29. Had phone/cyber sex?
30. Masturbated?
31. Masturbated to orgasm?
32. Masturbated over sexual images/films/text etc.?
33. Experimented sexually (on your own) with inanimate objects?
34. Masturbated in front of someone/with someone listening (over the phone, webcam etc.)?
35. Masturbated in front of someone (in person)?
36. Watched someone else masturbate in front of you? (Either in person or over the phone, webcam etc.)
37. Had your breasts fondled/fondled someone else's breasts?
38. Had your breasts licked or sucked/sucked or licked someone else's breasts?
39. Been masturbated by someone else?
40. Did you orgasm?
41. Have you ever masturbated someone else?
42. Did they orgasm?
43. Have you engaged in mutual masturbation where both of you were masturbating each other at the same time?
44. Have you engaged in kissing at the same time as you were doing what was stated in the above question?
45. Have you ever dry humped an MOS?
46. Had an orgasm from dry humping?
47. Given an MOS an orgasm from dry humping?
48. Have you ever given oral sex?
49. Received oral sex?
50. Had an orgasm from oral sex?
51. Given an MOS an orgasm from oral sex?
52. Done 69?
53. Swallowed ejaculate/had your ejaculate swallowed?
54. Kissed after oral sex?
55. Engaged in sexual activities in public?
56. Used sex toys of any sort?
57. Fondled someone's bum?
58. Had your bum fondled?
59. Spanked an MOS for sexual pleasure?
60. Been spanked by an MOS for sexual pleasure?
61. Had a guy orgasm on you? (Or if you're a guy, have you had an orgasm on a girl?)
62. Breast fucked?
63. Eaten food off the naked body of an MOS?
64. Had an MOS eat food off of your naked body?
65. Have you ever photographed an MOS naked or been photographed naked by an MOS?

Fact is Virgin means nothing if not spiritual.

evangelista said...

Me? Angry at chauvinist men? me did i say sumthing wrong?did i offend u mr-virgin-i-read-in-books-that-girls-bleed?

Puteri said...

Virginity is so subjective. It could be due to sexual activities or more of recreational.

If hymen is the yardstick, i think a lot of girls are not 'virgins' anymore.

Do you know that it is easily torn?
Activities such as cycling pun can cause it to tear?

And on what you read in books about girls bleeding for the first time kan, afiq, is not entirely true. Cos if through rough sports or activities, hymen dah tear, sometimes it goes down with the period. So you can't really tell based on just bleeding.

And for the record, im a proud virgin. And I plan to keep it that way =)

leeashroe said...

should i laugh at this post? well, probably i shouldn't.

virginity like all of you have suggested, is very subjective.

me myself, i wish being a virgin or not is not fussed over.


i really wish i can wear tampons instead of the normal pad whatsoever.

oh wait. you're a guy.

i should not be telling you this. don't tell my mum!(like you know her) haha.


Lisa Farhana said...

haha really like the way u addressed the issue as if it's not taboo

not many ppl dare to talk about it to this depth :p

SleepingBeauty said...

To me, a virgin is someone who has never had sexual intercourse (fourplay not included), be it vaginal penetration, anal penetration or even oral sex with the opposite gender (or the same gender, for some).

A complete virgin is one who has never even touched herself.

To me, a girl can be tear her hymen by sport or even insertion of sex toys by herself, but if she hasn't experienced that touch by a man, she's still a virgin.

And I don't see anything wrong with preferring a virgin as your partner Afiq, its natural to want to be the first to conquer (and I mean this in a good way). Plus, I believe, virginity is a yardstick for the worth of a muslim girl (plus some other important qualities).
[Rape victims excluded as they are a group of unfortunate people]

I take virginity issues very seriously. People can fuss over the issue either way, but I'm sticking to what I believe.

I believe that saving myself for my future husband is the best gift I can ever give him, oh besides the actually lovemaking sessions in the future ;)

Danny said...

kalau virgin tapi mandul?
and kalau tak virgin tapi subur?

fikir..fikir.. ';)

Afiq Deen said...

If she's virgin but mandul, we're opt for a surrogate mother.

If she's not virgin... it doesnt really matterlah if we love each other. But I've a choice in the matter, I prefer my wife to be a virgin. It's not a principle but a conception of personal idealism.

For example if I was stranded on a desert and found a container filled with dirty water, I would've drink it anyway. But there were two containers, one filled with clean water and the other dirty water, I would've chosen the clean one lah.

Who knows what life will throw at you anyway.

Danny said...

wisdom in you i could sense...

hrrmmm ... surrogate mother - but i wonder whether it is legal in Malaysia and approved by Islam?

Benrauf said...

Mary was married to Joseph the Carpenter but yet she carried the title 'virgin'? confuse :?
:p :p

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