Egged

Someone threw eggs on my car two days ago. I asked Bapak and he told me that I may have offended someone and the eggs were signs the egg thrower displeasure. "Orang Melayu memang macam tu abang.."

Obviously I am not used to this kind of expression. So naturally I don't get the rationale of it all. Why eggs? Perfectly good eggs at that.

Since we malays are masters of adat berkias, I tried to decipher this 'kiasan'. First of all, eggs are basic source of protein. Protein renew cells. Maybe the egg thrower was trying to encourage me to renew my strength and motivation? Maybe my passport needs renewing. Or my driving licence?

Eggs are actually used by artist to preserve artworks. Maybe the egg thrower wants me to preserve my car. Maybe he's a die hard fan of Proton Satria. He didn't want to do the 'preserving' it for me so he gave me a hint. Splat, splat, splat, hint, hint.

Traces of splattered eggs on the car screen is actually, erm, artistic (no kidding). Its raw streaks and fading crystalized embellishment looks like a Jackson Pollock's. How did he know that I'm a fan of arwah Jackson Pollock.

I know the egg thrower is angry about something I did, I'm not stupid but I'm not a psychic either. How should I know what I did that might have offended him if there was no literal or verbal indication? A short and sweet note should suffice.

And when I asked around, the egg thrower didn't exactly follow the historical malay expression to the latter. I was told that the eggs should be rotten first before being the victims of hate.

Upon seeing my car egged, I took a bottled mineral water and an old rag from the bonnet, washed it off and continued with my day like nothing happened. I mean, how is this expression of anger effective? He must have bought eggs from Tesco, walked to my car with no other intention than to literally smear his anger onto my mode of transportation and sped off so no one could see him in action. I can imagine the pressure and stress the egg thrower must have gone through. And the effort too.

But then again, a small note should suffice.