Air? illek!

KUALA LUMPUR, 13 Jan (Bernama) - Kemalangan di KM28 Lebuhraya Karak-Kuala Lumpur pukul 3.30 petang ini yang mengakibatkan tumpahan minyak kelapa sawit, menyebabkan gangguan bekalan air di lapan kawasan utama membabitkan 18,000 pengguna.

Antara kawasan yang terbabit ialah Universiti Islam Antarabangsa (UIA), British Malaysian Institute (BMI), Sekolah Menengah Teknik Gombak, Sekolah Menengah Integrasi Gombak, Tol Lebuhraya Karak, Sekolah Al-Amin Gombak, International Islamic School dan Stesen Minyak BHP Lebuhraya Karak.

There's no use bitching about it. It happened three years ago but we managed to keep ourselves hydrated, clean and pleasant-smelling. Here are some tips:

1. Buy 2 pails and a roll of soft kleenex toilet paper. Keep some leftover water in one pail to flush the toilet and use the other to clean yourself after excretion. If the situation is dire and there is no water at all (not even bottled mineral water) buy cat litter for istinjak. Istinjak? Tulah tak concentrate dalam kelas agama!

2. There are several ways to bathe. The most obvious one is to walk to the road in front of your colleges with a cebok and use the water brought by Syabas to bathe. But then again, people will line up and africans (in my experience) will use most of the water because, I dunno, they need it more so by the time your turn is up, the tank will probably be kering like a saharan desert.

3. Have you been to the male and female sport complex? If you haven't, this is the perfect time to do so. The swimming pool is an excellent mandi spot and its excessive clorine will make sure you stay free from infections from the water used by thousands of students.

4. Look for other sources of water. KAED has the largest water tank in UIA so make full use of it. I heard petrol stations like SHELL and Petronas make good business charging students a ringgit for a shower last time when there was water shortage. I mean, what is a ringgit compared to the icky feeling of being untouched by the holy subtance? Other who has homes nearby, don't go home just yet or you won't actually experience this rather unique turn of events. This is the kind of things you'll be telling to each other 30 years from now in alumni dinners. Unless the situation is dire, share the love!

5. Our longkangs are actually clean because the water comes from nearby streams and river. Don't bathe there after a heavy downpour though because you wouldn't want to be pulled into the current and get youself squished against the longkang strainer, would you? The best time to bathe in the longkang is in the evening because you will feel justified doing so because of the Yeay, Let's Mandi Sungai! mood. Avoid bathing there in the wee hours of morning because effeminate men (pondan) will probably claim their spot then. They will be in their sarongs singing "Inang inang, Inang di pagi bintang...". The sight of you will make them blush gleefully "Eh, ada pemudha mengintai kita lah Embun." "Oh ya? memhang lelaki ghersang, seghersang padang pasir chinta engkhau Melor!" "Heheheheheheee"

Ye, mereka memang dah lama impikan situasi sebegini.