"Afiq, ko dah pernah nampak dah ex aku?"
"Dah dah, Suhail belum. Cerita la kat Suhail."
Megat recapped how he met and eventually broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years. She was beautiful, he was the jealous type. Fastforward 3 years later from then and now he is about to get engaged to Fatin.
Suhail felt it was inevitable to share his experience with his one and only ex-girlfriend.
"Ko taktau ek pasal Suhail punya ex?" I asked Megat.
"Haaa, cerita Suhail cerita!"
So he did and I concluded. "We all learnt out lesson..."
"Kau tak pun! Semua ex ko, ko yang break up kan and atas dasar tah pape pulak tu." one of the two penyibuks spoiled my moment.
"Haah, kesian dier...3 tahun pulak tu! Ko main-main pulak dengan perasaan dier. Nanti ko kene baru tau."
Afiq stood his ground and countered. "I have my reasons. It was three years of trying. I tried. It was just not meant to be so lah until my future wife comes along, I'll be preoccupied with my fascination with the likes of Haikal and Zubair."
"Gay doh ko..."
"Kalau aku gay, korang dah lama aku rogol."
"Itu satu permulaan Afiq, dalam kajian cognitive behavior, sifat ni akan lead pada habit yang lebih buruk." Megat said matter-of-factly.
"Macam Anwar Ibrahim? Betul gak, bahaya bahaya." Knowing that Megat idolizes that hypocritical gay politician and regards Anwar's Asian Renaissance book like a second Quran, I gave him a good prodding on the rear.
"Itulah ko, tak habis habis ngan Haikal." Suhail laughed it off before realizing he entered a dangerous unchartered threshold.
"Ko pulak dengan adik angkat ko. Ye Bang... Makan dulu ye Bang... Selamat tido Bang... Adik angkat la sangat!" I rolled my eyes as he YM-ed his "adik angkat". A cheap shot it was but an effective one.
"So like I was saying... aku belum mature enough for a serious relationship." Afiq concluded triumphantly.
Megat and Suhail nodded furiously.
"Simply because when I meet her I'll just know it. I'll go to her and ajak her to kahwin without the fuss of dating and knowing each other. Then I'll get her parents' permission. We'll learn about each other after the nikah. It's much more romantic that way."
Afiq zoned out, returned to his room and listened to Ella Fitzgerald's Bewithched, Bothered and Bewildered while waiting for the important match.
All three of us dozed off last night. Another early morning EPL match missed. Another reason why we shouldn't talk about our ex-es.