Don't Worry Be Happy

After a month of neglect, I finally made a point to somewhat update my frienster status, added a few pictures and viewed some of my friends' new pictures. I realized that some pictures can actually be safeguarded and only upon consent of the profile owner can it be viewed. So I applied and within minutes, my request was positively verified. I opened the album of Polan bin Polan only to find out that it's a gallery of himself in full glory. Yes yes, Polan bin Polan took pictures of himself in his room holding his member in a certain way to make it appear larger than it really is.
I'm not going to be a hypocrit and tell you that I find all this strange. It'll be like telling you that I think that 3GP is more famously known as an encoding format, not local porn. But why, why did he tried to make his member look larger than it already is?
There's a reason why men should be ashamed of showing their penis and that reason being our inability to do anything about it. We can't make it bigger nor can we sculpt it into a desirable form. It is as it is. Today we can enhance breasts and restore virginity but nope, that we cannot do. Sorry Encik Alfie, we cannot do anything about your.... condition. Have you considered joining the church?
Take a stroll at any streets and you will see small adverts like Rawatan Pembesaran Zakar, Urut Asli Haji Samuri, Teknik Besaran Dr. Daud and Da Lin, Hen Da Lin! Our obsession of the ultimate male endowment is legendary. So legendary that it was told that there was a centuries old scripture that tells a story of a young malay man who embarks in a journey to discover a magical fountain that can make his keris double the original size.
Many tried and failed. Some just gave up the search, joined a MLM and buy themselves flashy sports cars to compensate. Others resorted to cheaper alternatives like shoving socks in their underwear. And to those who are extremely self-conscious about penis size, I have a simple formula to determine whether or not you are ehem, normal.
Here's a median length of different races:
  • Chinese: 11cm
  • Indian: 17cm
  • Melayu: 13cm
  • Caucasion: 16cm
  • African: 19cm
If you're a mix, just add the median length and divide lah. Let's take me for an example: I'm 75% malay and the other 25% chinese and indian. So 975 + 212.5 + 137.5 /100 = 13.25cm.
Okay, let's see... Eh? Okay lah maybe my indian genes kicked the chinese and malay genes at some point during my embryonic development. It's not accurate but it gives you a sense of assurance.
See, you're actually more or less relatively endowed than you think you are. So don't worry.
Be happy!
*Urgh... that song. Remember that annoying song? Oooo o o o o oooo Don't worry be happy.


Qarl said...

u used a great formula to get lots and lots of people to visit ur blog!


for a pure malay like me; r u sure it's only 13 cm? haha...

Afiq Deen said...

You betcha! C'mon now... don't lie to yourself. It's more or less accurate.

Diran said...

yours is 13.5cm long?..haha....u sure?...and ur proudly saying it out loud?..haha...

Afiq Deen said...

I know right. The formula is flawed!

syahiransukardi said...

shoving socks?rasa mcm ada artis melayu pernah buat mcm tu je.haha

Dammit said...

benda ni dah mcm satu obsession bagi sesetengah lelaki. sepatutnya kualiti lagi penting dari kuantiti kot. btw afiq, dont worry, be happy. hahaha

Afiq Deen said...

memang ada, satu cara yg low budget tapi daripada beli kereta sport yg beratus ribu, baik beli stokin byford 12 ringgit. Sama effect pun.

I've alway been happy with whatever I have, especially upon learning that I should be more than thankful ; ). And so should all men in Malaysia. Let's put cons like haji samuri out of business. !! !! !! !

Szakif said...

habis sape nak support bisnes2 orang melayu kalo bukan orang melayu jugak? heh. lari tajuk plak~

abes aku macam mana? melayu bugis + jawa + banjar?

ok. takde formula. selamat.

Afiq Deen said...

bugis, jawa, banjar masuk kategori melayu lerrrrr.. Apa lagi tinggal kalau bugis, jawa, banjar bukan melayu? Orang asli?

Apa daaa

Lady RoRa said...

this definitely educates your female readers. haha.

-one- said...

ahahh... i got abit 'slow' this morning... when i was reading ... i didnt get what u meant by making his 'member' bigger... i was like...'WTF is he saying..apenye nih.... had to baca 3-4 time baru phm... its a Penis!...hehe... owh BTW... there are people that are embarrassed as their member is a little to big too :-P

SleepingBeauty said...

woa! First time on your blog and you got me holding the ruler! *ehem*

yes yes, very educational for female readers ;p

thank you.

dammit is right, its not the size that matters, its how you maneuver it which makes the difference ;p

Afiq Deen said...

I didn't realize that it's educational.. (haha)

Of course lah I won't discuss this topic in great length but I know how men exaggerate about their privates. It's pathetic lah. I know, you know, we all know so why the hell do you have to lie?

zaFFa said...

it's not about the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean

Danny said...

Kalau besar tapi mandul tak guna jugak
Kalau besar berpenyakit pun tak guna jugak

Yang penting kita berbalik kepada asas fungsi Tuhan mengurniakan lelaki dengan zakar dan testis

1. ia sempurna sebagai alat perkumuhan
2. ia sempurna sebagai organ pembiakan

Agree with you Afiq... bersyukur apa yang ada.

SleepingBeauty said...

Insecurity Afiq.
That's why.

Point well stated Danny.
*thumbs up*

Lady RoRa said...

and I agree with Danny.

Afiq Deen said...

I agree with all of you!