Sigh


Hadi will be going back to Sabah. It is already decided. It saddens me that Hadi is not taking charge of this situation. But when I see him cried like I did when I was his age, I thought it's better for him to know the mechanics of his situation. But like me when I was younger, he is adamant that my mother is doing the right thing and he'll honour her decision.

I'm afraid he will have to endure what I'd endured. Maybe that's the only way. As much as it pained me to see him feeling confuse and guilty, I think it is best for him to learn what I'd learned the way I did.

I thought I could be a responsible big brother and try to persuade him to not repeat my mistakes. It seems that I failed to do so. This whole trip is a failure. I feel terrible. I feel useless.
I love you with all my heart but there are some things I don't agree and this is one of them. I hope you understand the gravity of your actions. Let's think about Hadi's future and be sensible.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

AFIQ,

Cukuplah mengfitnah umi, menjatuhkan maruah umi dan menghiris hati umi dengan kata2 dusta. Mungkin umi tidak berduit dan kini hidup di kampung, di sabah tapi umi dah membesar dan menjaga afiq dengan penuh kasih sayang apabila di tinggalkan tanpa makanan, tempat berteduh maupun persekolahan. umi menjual ikan di pasar malam menjual baju di pejabat pejabat utk sesuap nasi yg halal buat anak2 umi. adik tidak bersekolah 6 bulan kerana tidak berduit dan pabila umi mohon wang disuruh tanggung sendiri.
sekiranya umi mengetahui hajat dia umi tidak akan berhenti kerja sebagai project manager yang selama ini umi yang menanggung semua perbelanjaan. umi pasrah dan reda tapi pabila anak menghiris hati umi dan mangalirkan air mata umi dengan fitnah dan tomahan umi doa diambil nyawa ketika di mekah nanti. Afiq tidak mahu berbicara dengan umi dan mematikan talian komunikasi umi sabar.afiq dah berjaya menghancurkan hati umi
dan sekiranya umi masih pulang ke malaysia bulan syawal nanti tolonglah nak tolonglah jangan tulis perihal umi lagi. jangan fitnah umi lagi atau afiq nak tengok umi kaku dan meludah umi atas semua kegagalan afiq. akhir skali afiq telah pilih jalan afiq sendiri so let me be with adik2. We are happy and we don't mind living in kampung coz we have each other and LOVE is always around n within us though we don't have all the materials u n ur father has. We are contented n we bersyukur we are bless with good neighbours n people here in sabah.

Umi pledge skali lagi cukuplah memfitnah umi. biarlah umi disini dengan adik2.

umi

Afiq Deen said...

umi, only half a dozen people knows the mother of Afiq Deen. Now when you intervene, everybody knows.

Biarlah Hadi continue sekolah dekat sini untuk masa depan dia. Die perlukan disiplin dan harus belajar untuk jadi independant. Umi ada anak2 lelaki. Memang lumrah utk anak lelaki untuk belajar berdikari.

Dekat sini hadi tak ada distraction so senang sikit dia nk belajar. Itu je. Hadi takkan jadi macam afiq, jgn risau. Hadi anak yang baik, afiq anak derhaka.

Afiq bukan nak fitnah umi tapi afiq nak pastikan hadi dapat peluang untuk berjaya yang lebih daripada afiq. Sebab afiq sayangkan hadi and adik2. Kalau kita sayang seseorang, kita takkan menghalang dia untuk belajar di tempat asing untuk masa depan yang lebih cerah.

Hadi bukan join gang samseng, triad, sindiket atau persatuan rempit. Hadi sekolah dekat Kolej Sultan Abdul Hamid je.

Afiq harap umi faham yang kolej dapat memberi hadi peluang yg kita tak boleh bagi. Kalau umi sayang hadi, biarlah dia teruskan pembelajaran dia dekat kolej.

Anonymous said...

Hadi yang nak tukar sekolah bukan umi yang suruh.

apapun kolej is only a name so is maktab or UIA. ada yang berjaya with flying colors n ada yang fail. pokoknya terpulang kepada pelajar itu sendiri n as for hadi he doesn't like staying in hostel nor ur father's house coz it's not home to him. umi have faith in hadi n he will study his best. Insyaallah.
umi

Afiq Deen said...

It's already decided then.

I give up. Do whatever you want with hadi and his education. Once you make up your mind, no one can do anything anymore. This is a fact. It really doesn't matter whether hadi wants to continue his studies at Kolej or not at this point. I hope you understand how this turn of events will affect hadi's wellbeing.

I just want hadi to be in a stable environment where he can study and grow up but it's still really up to you. It's up to you. I don't think it's fair to think that Hadi made this decision alone. To make things clear, I want to point out that hadi is changing school from Kolej back to Sabah because his class his noisy, some of his schoolmates smoke cigarettes, the tuition is not well-attended and he misses you and his brothers.

Rigt. Set.

lifeinside said...

when ure overseas for 5 years you really do miss those times with your family, even small moments like taking ur sis kid from school. if God's willing hadi will go outside malaysia after this, the moment that he will be with umi will be his sweetest time.

sekolah tak menentukan orang. it is true for perhaps 10% of the school's population but not for all the students. the truth is it really depends on specific individual on what type of environment is the ideal growth environment for him. some kids grow better in hostels, some kids grow better at home with their beloved. perhaps hadi is the 2nd type.

but after all of these argument i think it's best for these type of things to be discussed behind closed doors as the public doesn't really know what type of person afiq is, umi is and hadi is. as for you asking public opinion (i see that's the only reason ure putting this story in ur blog) is useless.

just a 2 cent piece from me.

Afiq Deen said...

Im not asking the public opinion. I'm not asking anything at all. I'm actually okay with my mother or hadi's decision as it doesn't affect me.

About hadi being the 2nd type, I base my arguments on results. Result. Not maybe-s.

I didn't exactly pour kerosene on this subject did I? You can take her side all you want mirul but you know what... i think it's better that you find out what I've been raving about yourself.

I refuse to bukak pekung (no matter how she exposed me)

Because I am an anak derhaka.