THS: True Hair Story

Yesterday I realized that my hair was getting a wee bit outlandish so I decided to pay a visit to my favourite barber. I don't even know his name so let's just call him Chris (because he looks like the chinese version of Project Runaway's Christian Siriano)

I walked around Melawati for two hours to look for suitable materials to make my very own Raya Cards and iftar was just around the corner so I was completely knackered. Tired. Penat. I didn't eat my sahur yesterday morning so by five something in the evening my head was so light I was sure it'll pop if I accidentally hit my head on door edges or poorly designed columns, which I did, twice. My head didn't pop.

I went to the barber shop, sat on the reclinable chair and muttered "Saya puasa, mana boleh minum teh...." "Oh ya ka? Sorry ah Ah Pik!" Susan took away the shop's complimentary tea from the glass table in front of me.

"Okay. What style you want today?" Chris took some hairstyle catalogue from the waiting area and put it on the glass table. Usually I'm very particular about my hair. I have my own taste when it comes to my hairstyle. A particular taste that is usually perceived by everyone else as messy and out of control but still UIA-friendly. But yesterday I was too tired to fuss over my hair and answered. "You ikut suka hati la.." before napping on the chair as the speakers boomed a disco version of "To the left, to the left. Mmm, to the left..."

He woke me up. I paid. I left. I pinched my thighs and rode back to the hostel before I crashed. I woke up a few seconds before Iftar and ate like a pig gracefully. I perform wudu' , looked at the mirror and...

CHRIS!!!! Suka Hati Ko Je..! (before muttering to myself Wait, I was the one who told him to ikut suka hati.)

Chris gave me the most unusual hairstyle I've ever had. It's a fusion of mohawk and the latest Taiwanese hairstyle trend. It's a kind of hairstyle you would expect from openly gay buff chinese guys who wears short khakis, pink tank tops and carries around glittering Roxy bags. The only difference is it is a bit slanted to the right (must have been that stupid song!) I immediately took a shower and tried to ward off the gbcgwwskapttacgRb influence but to no avail. The only way to make my hair look presentable is by replicating Chris's mold. Fark!

Front Elevation

Side Elevation

This morning I woke up two hours earlier than usual to make sure I can get my hairstyle right before class. I fetched my newly bought hair clay from the plastic bag and found a japanese hairstyle catalogue with a small note on it.

"Free Hair Catalogue, enjoy. Selamat Berbuka Puasa. XOXO Susan" (must be a Gossip Girl fan)

There was a folded page where a japanese guy with my hairstyle senyum sinis ala ala macho. On the page were hair molding instructions. I studied the instructions, accidentally applied excessive hair clay and had to rewash my hair twice. After approxmately 45 minutes, I managed to replicate the hairstyle of Shouku Shiguno, company executive & part time model.

After a few minutes of reading Oxygen to let the time pass, my hair somehow deflated and I had to resort to some extreme measures to make sure it stays erect for a minimum of 12 hours

One hour and 45 minutes later, every strand of hair was positively erect, like an old man who had one too many cup of Kopi Tongkat Ali for Sahur.

I'm calling this hairstyle 'Siapla Ko Chris'

73 comments:

fara said...

lol!
didnt knw male's hair issue is dat depressing.

oh. n people might ask for dat hair. heh

ira zaki said...

hey i like ur hairstyle..
it compliments ur look..he...

shamel said...

kelakar ye cherita kamu!

Radiah said...

dude, ur the last mohican versi Asian lah.anws,i loike the new hairstyle.keep it lah!

RITZ CHEWAN said...

I'm half expecting your next bblog to be about your Aramis Skin Products... hehehe

Anonymous said...

i think that girl, Susan, had a little crush on you..haha

Afiq Deen said...

nah... i'm going to the barber shop afterwards to make my hair look 'normal' again.

Susan is a middle age woman with sexy cellulite marks.

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