4 Peringkat Ajal

My very first short film!

4 Peringkat Ajal:

Tell me what you think. I'm eager to know. Before you do, excuse the quality of the film (sound, grains, etc) because I shot the whole film with only a DV handycam.

Fuh!

Dah siap! After four days of aggravating editing, it's finally done. I cancelled the constructive screening but instead I showed it to people who knows, breathe and digest film. I'm not undermining the opinion of the masses but as you have probably noticed, not everyone can be constructive or even remotely sane in delivering their opinions.

Now I have to make DVDs to give to the competition organizers, my fellow actors and a few copies for myself.

Fuh, siap jugak! My very first short film!

Should I YouTube it?

Cuti

I slept early last night. There were half a dozen guys smoking shisha outside my room. There were sudden roars of victory, mesti ada bola. I heard cars whizzing in and out of the hostel block. Motorcyles buzzed like a drunk Buzz Lightyear. My Cambodian roommate was trimming his beard. This is why I don't usually sleep early. There's usually so many distractions. So much buzz going around me that sleeping amidst it all is like eating salad at Gerai Nasi Lemak Malinja.

But I managed to sleep anyway.

I woke up early in the morning listening to whizzing sound of my own breath. It was so darn quiet. So quiet that even my close to perfection technique to let out intestinal gas sounded like a classic Ford exhaust pipe. Brap pap pap pah~

Damn. I thought I'm Einstein at this!

Then I realized something. Today is Saturday. Oh dang.

Cuti.

Dang.

How come nobody told me today cuti? Babi.

Oh well.

Empty Lecture Room

Dina inverted her thick lips, pouted them out and pursed them back to their usual position. Her lips, laquered with magenta, the centerpiece of her whole face is slightly quivering. Maybe it's cold. Maybe I made her nervous. Maybe my...

"Why is your d so long?" She enquired.

"It has always been that way, Dina." I answered with a slight tint of red on my cheeks.

"Since when?"

"Since I was about 14 I guess." I answered without looking at her face.

"But it's so unusual, so different. I've never seen such a thing before?" I finally had the courage to look at her oval ebony face. She's Sudanese. Maybe Sudanese are different? Maybe mine is just very unique. "And your b, it's dangling lower than everyone else's I'd seen so far.."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. And you better finish up before Dr. Zuraida comes into the lecture room." Dina took out her cell and flipped it in and out. She's nervous, I could tell.

"You're not making me finish up any faster Dina. Maybe you can help out.."

Her facial expression shouted "I thought you'd never ask!" She put her cell back into her handbag, made sure the door is close so no one could come in unnoticed and grabbed my pen....

"Dina! I was in a middle of..."

"I know, I just want to make sure you finish up before she comes back in."

"She's forty something.. I'm sure..."

"Not another word. Yours are for people of experience Afiq! Dr Zuraida is too young to understand this!"

"But.."

"But what?"

"Dr. Mahathir, Fidel Castro and Tony Blair writes in cursive!"

4 Peringkat Ajal: Coming Soon

4 students over the past 4 years


died after after knowing that they have


4 weeks to live 4 days after they entered campus.


People talk, oh they talk alright. Gossips, blog, flyers.


Now told in 4 different perpectives,


4 different styles of story telling.



"Korang nak dengar satu cerita tak?"





There will be constructive screening this Sunday. What I mean by constructive is that you guys could give your opinion and criticism so I could tweak some of that peeps magic before I send it to the organizer.

I think that's fine way to improve my work (in the last minute), no? With constructive criticism.

Stop It Already

I've added new resolutions to my 2009's A.F.I.Q (Afiq's Fucking Indelible Quests!) I want to stop fidgeting. Somebody (Nadrah) mentioned to me that I do that a lot. I will either shake my right foot, twist a crop of hair or smack my lips when I feel vulnerable.

All those things are annoying if not put off-ing habits.

Like masturbating. I don't do that anymore (too old lah) but some of my hostel neighbours are constantly at it every single night. From 3am to 4am, when I'm reading Myths and Legends of the Ancient World, I've become accustomed of hearing smacking sounds and the usual climax groans. I've become so adapted to their habit that I will listen to Katy Perry's Hot and Cold because both schlong and song were moving to the same beat.

I mean, you guys must be over 24. Stop it already. Give me some piece of mind! Sounds of smacking pork swords isn't exactly Secret Garden.

Give it a rest. Give 'it' some rest.

Define Random:

Watched Slumdog Millionaire and cried like a turtle. Boy oh boy Danny Boyle. You made me cry harder than when my parents divorced. Or when I was locked up in a store room for a week for lying about my exam results.

Whoops. Dirty laundry.

I've got my share of dirty laundry too. Like my crush on Johann Paulik when I was fifteen and the character Maxxie from Skins last year.

Don't worry guys, it was just a phase. Now I have a crush on amoi Kedai Peralatan Seni Weng Mee.

Don't blame me. I'm just biconical.

Egged

Someone threw eggs on my car two days ago. I asked Bapak and he told me that I may have offended someone and the eggs were signs the egg thrower displeasure. "Orang Melayu memang macam tu abang.."

Obviously I am not used to this kind of expression. So naturally I don't get the rationale of it all. Why eggs? Perfectly good eggs at that.

Since we malays are masters of adat berkias, I tried to decipher this 'kiasan'. First of all, eggs are basic source of protein. Protein renew cells. Maybe the egg thrower was trying to encourage me to renew my strength and motivation? Maybe my passport needs renewing. Or my driving licence?

Eggs are actually used by artist to preserve artworks. Maybe the egg thrower wants me to preserve my car. Maybe he's a die hard fan of Proton Satria. He didn't want to do the 'preserving' it for me so he gave me a hint. Splat, splat, splat, hint, hint.

Traces of splattered eggs on the car screen is actually, erm, artistic (no kidding). Its raw streaks and fading crystalized embellishment looks like a Jackson Pollock's. How did he know that I'm a fan of arwah Jackson Pollock.

I know the egg thrower is angry about something I did, I'm not stupid but I'm not a psychic either. How should I know what I did that might have offended him if there was no literal or verbal indication? A short and sweet note should suffice.

And when I asked around, the egg thrower didn't exactly follow the historical malay expression to the latter. I was told that the eggs should be rotten first before being the victims of hate.

Upon seeing my car egged, I took a bottled mineral water and an old rag from the bonnet, washed it off and continued with my day like nothing happened. I mean, how is this expression of anger effective? He must have bought eggs from Tesco, walked to my car with no other intention than to literally smear his anger onto my mode of transportation and sped off so no one could see him in action. I can imagine the pressure and stress the egg thrower must have gone through. And the effort too.

But then again, a small note should suffice.

Oh Man!!!

I already killed 3 characters. My last victim is due tomorrow morning.

A week ago I was 'fairly' excited about the whole short film. Now I'm just scared shitless. What if the whole short film turned out to be crap? Will I do justice to my volunteering actors' efforts?

Yesterday I must have muttered 'sorry' a few hundred times to Jannah. I thanked Puteri more than 10 times an hour. I'm sorry guys! I'm just so very nervous. And since I'm the sole producer, director, editor and whatever roles necessary to make a complete short film, the burden of this no-budget short film is on me.

Don't get me wrong. I love the whole idea of experimenting but now I'm doing so at other people's expense; their time and effort.

And thank you for reminding me that I'm only an amatuer filmmaker and that this is my first short film. I do get carried away and become overly self-critical at times.

And I doubt myself all the time. I've to admit, I'm not a film student so there's a great deal of filmmaking concerns that I'm not aware of but I'm learning and this is a learning process. I may not be a film student or have the best equipments yet for making film but I've never felt the way I do now my entire life. I'm loving every second of it. I'm not even sleeping and eating right anymore. I'm just desperately in love with the whole idea of making films. And if this is what I'll doing for a living, I don't have to work a day in my life!

Religion Fan Art

Fan Art basically means art by fan. It can be any type of art depicting a subject of adoration by respective fans. The most usual fan art available online are Bleach, Naruto and other popular animes/mangas.

There is also religion fan art, art that is to be enjoyed specifically by followers of religions. There are websites dedicated for specific kind of fan art to be appreciated by its members. It's like deviantart.com but only exclusive for religion followers. These is a sample I took from a Jewish fan art website:

Get the picture? It's basically a depiction of religion idols and saints. In Islam this is not allowed because visual depiction of saints, angels and other holy beings will encourage idol worshipping. Even with that in mind, I still enjoyed these fan arts. Like these ones I took from a christian fan art website:

I know right... those fan art are really cool, considering that these fan arts were made by individuals not driven by monetary return. The coolmometer is close to the time Legolas used an orc's shield to skate his way down the stairs in the epic fight between Saruman's army and Theoden's men.

We muslims have our own religion fan art website: Alwancomics.com. Here are some best samples I took from there:

Astaga,.. bak kata orang Perancis "Vat zee ell?"

How can they live with themselves publishing 'Islamic' fan arts that are so crappy it could possibly tarnish the image of Islam?

It really really could. Even I'm convinced now that muslims who knows how to draw (which is a lot, mind you) are not dedicating even an infinitesimal time of theirs to contribute to Islamic fan art websites

I know there's a barrier between pious PAS muslims and liberal muslims in this country but that barrier is only imaginary. You guys fucking made it in your head. So go, go draw something nice and submit it to alwancomics.com. Go do it before people think all muslims draw with their feet.

Ya habibi ya maulana, tiada telur tak berguna.

Air? illek!

KUALA LUMPUR, 13 Jan (Bernama) - Kemalangan di KM28 Lebuhraya Karak-Kuala Lumpur pukul 3.30 petang ini yang mengakibatkan tumpahan minyak kelapa sawit, menyebabkan gangguan bekalan air di lapan kawasan utama membabitkan 18,000 pengguna.

Antara kawasan yang terbabit ialah Universiti Islam Antarabangsa (UIA), British Malaysian Institute (BMI), Sekolah Menengah Teknik Gombak, Sekolah Menengah Integrasi Gombak, Tol Lebuhraya Karak, Sekolah Al-Amin Gombak, International Islamic School dan Stesen Minyak BHP Lebuhraya Karak.

There's no use bitching about it. It happened three years ago but we managed to keep ourselves hydrated, clean and pleasant-smelling. Here are some tips:

1. Buy 2 pails and a roll of soft kleenex toilet paper. Keep some leftover water in one pail to flush the toilet and use the other to clean yourself after excretion. If the situation is dire and there is no water at all (not even bottled mineral water) buy cat litter for istinjak. Istinjak? Tulah tak concentrate dalam kelas agama!

2. There are several ways to bathe. The most obvious one is to walk to the road in front of your colleges with a cebok and use the water brought by Syabas to bathe. But then again, people will line up and africans (in my experience) will use most of the water because, I dunno, they need it more so by the time your turn is up, the tank will probably be kering like a saharan desert.

3. Have you been to the male and female sport complex? If you haven't, this is the perfect time to do so. The swimming pool is an excellent mandi spot and its excessive clorine will make sure you stay free from infections from the water used by thousands of students.

4. Look for other sources of water. KAED has the largest water tank in UIA so make full use of it. I heard petrol stations like SHELL and Petronas make good business charging students a ringgit for a shower last time when there was water shortage. I mean, what is a ringgit compared to the icky feeling of being untouched by the holy subtance? Other who has homes nearby, don't go home just yet or you won't actually experience this rather unique turn of events. This is the kind of things you'll be telling to each other 30 years from now in alumni dinners. Unless the situation is dire, share the love!

5. Our longkangs are actually clean because the water comes from nearby streams and river. Don't bathe there after a heavy downpour though because you wouldn't want to be pulled into the current and get youself squished against the longkang strainer, would you? The best time to bathe in the longkang is in the evening because you will feel justified doing so because of the Yeay, Let's Mandi Sungai! mood. Avoid bathing there in the wee hours of morning because effeminate men (pondan) will probably claim their spot then. They will be in their sarongs singing "Inang inang, Inang di pagi bintang...". The sight of you will make them blush gleefully "Eh, ada pemudha mengintai kita lah Embun." "Oh ya? memhang lelaki ghersang, seghersang padang pasir chinta engkhau Melor!" "Heheheheheheee"

Ye, mereka memang dah lama impikan situasi sebegini.

Going Gandhi

My car was summoned twice this week. Both of the tickets were for parking at a staff parking lot. Was it my fault though?

Yes and no.

YES because I DID parked at a staff parking lot because there were no available student parking lot. NO Because all the student parking lots were occupied by cars with no student stickers.

This is where it gets ridiculous. Why should I, a student with a student sticker pay for a offence only made possible by drivers who have no student stickers? Shouldn't they be fined instead but they weren't because they had no car stickers.

The IIUM security is indirectly telling me that I'm a viable offender if I obey the university rules and get myself a student sticker.

I'll be going all Gandhi with this. I'm going to clear all my fines WITHOUT paying a single cent and bring about a light of reason into this injustice.

I just hope they'll put their flags down before I put mine up.

"They may torture my body, break my bones, even kill me- then they will have my dead body, not my obedience." - Mahatma Gandhi.

Berus

"How much? For this brush."

"Seringgit empat" she said in fluent malay.

"Oraits" I gave her five ringgit.

"Thank you" She gave me back three forty.

"Welcome"

Oh my God, I think I'm in love.

Demonstrasi Anti-Israel

You know I'm not a fan of the zionist regime. Just a few hours ago, the Israeli army shot a mother and her three young children with an armored tank.

After Jumaat prayers at KLCC mosque, I joined a student demonstration and walked 3km to the Egypt embassy to support the delivery of a memorandum. The memorandum stressed on Egypt's responsibility as an Islamic state to open its border to allow occupation victims to run for safety and to allow medical help to be brought in into Palestine. FRU and policemen directed the march to ease congestion. Some of them even chanted along with us.

There was a lot of chanting and running. I know I'm supposed to be all fired up and shit, but the sight of heavily clad girls in jubahs running while shouting Ya Salam, Ya Rabbi was so damn funny. Just imagine a hundred or so ustazah lookalikes running amok in the heart of Kuala Lumpur! Oh God, I couldn't stop laughing when they scurried like sheeps chanting "Hidup Islam, Hidup Palestin, Hancur Israel, Hancur Zionist."

There were two type of people who marched along with the memorandum bearer. The majority were university students who joined Islamic groups affiliated with PAS and a few of them were genuinely angry middle-eastern students.

No, I didn't feel like a fish out of water at all even though a number of students who joined the demonstration gladly pointed that out. One guy even had the guts to tell it to me in the face:

"Ada jugak orang Islam macam ko kat sini?"

"Hah? Macam apa?"

"Orang yang nama je Islam."

I ignored him of course. I was more concerned about dying Palestinians to entertain judgemental pricks. One sister even shouted at me to get out of her way with a courtesy "Oi Cina Babi, tepi!"

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Sabar Afiq sabar....

"Saya orang Islam lah sister. Nama saya Afiq Deen."

"Ah! Ada ke orang Islam muka macam kamu!!?"

"Kalau dekat China yang ada 22 juta orang Islam, muka akak lagi pelik."

"Errr...."

"Nak masuk gambar? Saya letak dalam blog.

"Boleh jugak!"

So that's the Akak Babi, the one is shades.

Of all the weird things that happened today (ustazahs running, persian guy sitting on his moving car with no one driving), this one takes the cake:

Tagged! I'm it!

Trailer - 4 Peringkat Ajal

I just realized that I don't really blog anymore. I tell jokes, write funny stories, show my videos and that's about it.

I'm currently busy writing 4 Peringkat Ajal script for a short film competition. It's my first short film with a script, dang!

You know I love writing but it gets overwhelming at times when it comes to writing a script and I'd to retrace my steps to keep my story from going out of control.

I know for a fact I won't win the judges' heart with my aesthetics because I'm using a normal handycam. And I also won't be able to wow the judges with special effects because I'm using an outdated laptop. What I can do to make them go ballistic is by coming up with a totally original concept in a genre that is basically non-existent in Malaysia!

4 Peringkat Ajal is a thriller-action short film with loads of surprises and twisted edges. It can even be considered experimental in a sense. And most of my friends who read the script told me that I may get in trouble with JAIS, JAWI or JAKIM. But what the hell.... I'm doing it anyway.

Remaking Sampai Syurga

A friend was hanging out in my room and confided me about his recent break up with his long time girlfriend. He told me that the girl suddenly changed her mind and decided to end it.

My laptop randomly played Sampai Syurga and by the end of the song, he cried and said to me "But you know what Afiq, now I know, now I realize that Allah will love me no matter what.." He was sobbing hard, his mouth twitched uncontrollably as he struggled to finish his sentence "No matter what shit life throws at me, He's always there."

I know Faizal Tahir already has a music video for his latest hit Sampai Syurga but it didn't resonate the emotions I had in mind.

Original music video:


It's abstract, fine. It's a girl swimming in the heavens, fine. It's Faizal Tahir with his slicky hair whipping his wet see-through shirt, fine.

And then it came to me. You know when you pray, the only part of yourself that you could see is your feet? The sight of our feet reminds us about our spiritual link with God.

So I made a video of a guy experiencing a difficult ordeal from a perspective of his head looking down on his feet, only to realize that he didn't have to look far to find his true love. He just had to look down.

My music video:

I shot the whole thing yesterday and finished the editing a few hours ago. I showed it to my friend, only to receive a grizzly hug that must have lasted a whole minute.

What do you think?

Get Paid to Advertise AfiqDeen

Hi guys! Afiq Deen here. I have a proposition for you. I want you to advertise my site and get paid.

It's quite simple. You can paste a link or a picture link on your blog and if you're the highest referrer of the week, you'll get RM10. If you're the highest referrer of the month, you'll get RM50. If potential clients who hired me for a job and you're the one responsible for informing them about my service, you will get 10% of my service charge to the clients. So if I was to be paid RM1500, you'll get RM150. To put it simply:

RM10 - highest referrer of the week

RM50 - highest referrer of the month

10% of service charge - responsible for referring my service to a client.

What you have to do is to link my site http://afiqdeen.blogspot.com in your site or blog. If you think that promoting the link will make more people to visit my site, by all means!

When can you start? You can start now! Just paste the link http://afiqdeen.blogspot.com to your blog or site and I'll start monitoring the visits coming from your blog. If you're the highest referrer of the week or month, I will promptly ask for your bank account number to deposit your payment.

When a client get in contact with me, I will ask he/her where she gets her info from and if he/she responds to your blog, you are entitled to 10% of my service charge.

RAYA RUMBLE di Kampung

Raya is probably the only time all my cousins gathered under one roof. And when we are together, we are bound to do silly/merepek/outlandish things.

When other people visited each other during the first day of Aidilfitri, we shot each other silly with BB guns around Tok's house.

I'm the one in bright neon blue . I've to admit though, If I were to be in a real hostage situation as a counter terrorist, I would've been the first to die! But at least I fought with style... haha.

Enjoy!

Credits to lordNAEL, malFUNCTION, BaPaK51, Hariz Shazalli (cameraman) and our hostages: Nazreen, Natalia and Nisa.

Cerita Hantu: Pilot

I was experimenting with this idea of having series of horror parody. For half an hour we made fake blood, messed up the bathroom and covered Nisa with bedak. And then we spent 5 minutes shooting random scenes. Very random scenes. I mean, have you seen anyone who brush their teeth after taking a dump? And why is the main character going out of the house to go to the toilet?

The finished pilot lacked climax, gore and eerie angles. And I should've asked the Hantu Lift to open the shut elevator doors and desperately chase after the guy. And there should be a dead body in the bathtub!

Shoulda coulda woulda...

But after finishing this so-called Pilot, I have a better idea of how to write and direct parody scenes. Anyway, there're plenty of blood to make hematophobics cringe. It's not funny yet but I'm betting that the upcoming Cerita Hantu: Desperate Houseghosts will be make you laugh your heart out, literally.

Cerita Hantu: Pilot

Enjoy!

Coming Soon:

Cerita Hantu: Desperate Houseghosts