Ok Go

They were featured on the MTV Awards 2 years ago.

Can you imagine yourself rearranging 4 treamills so you and your three friends can practice a healthy Here It Goes Again routine?

Well, I can.

I can also imagine myself getting kicked out of the gym.

: D

Syabas

I don't get why people obsessively watch that reality show. You know lah, the reality show where singer wannabes exploit themselves by living and 'learning' for the voyueristic pleasures of unnerving hypocritical fans.

Yes that show. Akademi Fantasia.

It's a show with no integrity what-so-EVER.

Unlike reality shows like American Idol or Apprentice, Akademi Fantasia exploits people's weaknesses, family backgrounds, personal traits and worst of all, scandals. And the best part of the whole Fantasia madness is how people spend hundreds or thousands of ringgit they can use for their children education or books (yes books) by voting and chatting on the @15 channel.

Syabas orang-0rang Melayu yang:

1. Miskin

2. Bodoh

2. Malas

Go ahead. Have fun. Spend all the money you have voting. I bet the singer is a great investment for your children's future.

Syabas.

This blog entry is brought to you by:

Afiq's Top 10 Idols

Get to know more about them and you'll fall in love with their achievements too.

My parents
Yvonne Ridley

Rey Mysterio

Richard Branson

Ludwig Van Beethoven

Arhundati Roy

Gene Simmons of Kiss

Mahathir Mohamad


Zaha Hadid

Karim Rashid

Nodame Cantabile

I dig mangas and animes only when it is about a certain passion, has a storyline that revolves around a most desired dream and has a hero or heroine that cries not because his or her love to a person, but because of their passion.

The word for today: Passion

The reason why I'm blogging about my closet geek addiction is because I'm still under the magical influence of Nodame Cantabile. I browsing other people's shared folder and came across the word Cantabile. It reminded me of Andante Cantabile popularized by Tchaikovsky. It's what I personally call a Life Ochestra because it doesn't evoke any expected grandieur but has a surprising quality to it when it is listened to in a casual setting. It has that miso soup effect; the deliciousness of minimalism.

So apa lagi, cuba lah tengok satu episode.

Mak aih, like any passion driven animes or manga, the dorama delivered just that but with a subtle hint of obsession, especially the main male character Chiaki, whose obsession for perfection deterred him from enjoying classical music for its raw beauty.

It's very much like Yakitate Japan but without the naiveness, non-existing love interest and of course lah, bread. Which is one of the many reasons why I dig it. And yesssss, the hero, like all of my favourite animes and mangas, cooks really well.

The best part of this dorama (which mean drama) is they'll feature orchestra pieces and my personal favourites like Symphony no.5 in F major my Chopin and gave it a funny twist. Presentations of Symphony no.7 by Beethoven was also given a slight twist, a good kind of twist that is. A sort of twinning that suits the asian appreciation of classical music: Cantabile. Even the background soundtracks are classical music which fills my room with unprepared dramas and sober awakenings.

And plus the hero and heroine's really hot. And the comical flow of the dorama can be equally compared to Gokusen (the yakuza princess teacher).

All in all, people who loves listening and appreciating classical music should really watch the dorama series, even if you're not a japanese drama enthusiast. It reflects a certain degree of humanity to pieces I love and admire and gives it kick, as if shouting "I can exist in real life too!"

Yes I'm a geek and I embrace my geekness with so much pride a single person can muster to handle. I just wish there's a manga or anime about my passion. No, it's not architecture. It's not writing either. It is something I'm very good at doing. Something that will make me smile without the thought of the scent of 50 ringgit.

You'll know it if you know me.

Piece of Crap

I tried on one of those fancy future reading weighing machine yesterday.

"I am calculating your weight...." said the machine

"Stand still. I am calculating your height...." it said again.

"You are 68 kilogram and 173 cm. Congratulation! You will be O K."

Hah?

What the dodol? I'm OK? That's all? I gave you 1 ringgit and all you can read about my future is that I'll do OK. OK in what?

The machine didn't respond to my enquiry. It repeated the same crap: "Insert 1 dollar to know more about your future.."

Aish... what is this????

Let it be known that all weighing machines are of chinese heritage.

Funny

I think it is funny that a lot of malays detest KJ because he's Pak Lah's son in low and is now an MP of Rembau and yet they do not mind that DAP's Lim Kit Siang's son is now the MB of Penang.

I think it is funny that Rafidah is questioning Azalina's Wanita branch membership.

I think it is funny that Ku Li is contesting to be UMNO's President.

I think it is funny that Mukhriz is being alienated by the Pemuda clan because he wants PakLah to resign for his poor performance as the Prime Minister.

I think it is funny that Anwar Ibrahim will be paying Sabah and Sarawak's MPs to join PKR and will elect himself as the new Prime Minister of Malaysia.

But most of all, I think it is funny that UMNO is squabbling within themselves after a historic loss.

The funniest of all would be the fact that malays are still factioning themselves while the chinese are regrouping and strenghtening their ties. Yes yes yes, DAP is opting for a Malaysian Malaysia... but forgive me for being cautious but I've never met an honest chinese person before (with the exception of my former classmates)

And I can still remember what triggered 13th of May 1969. Despite the election outcomes, it was triggered when thousands of chinese marched through a dominant malay street and jeered at them, carrying brooms. The funny thing would be that a lot of those malays voted for DAP and DAP fanatics were all "Get some of this, SUCKA!" on them.

Do we want another 13th of May? Do we?

Maybe we should as a commeration or a refreshment course of what we've been fighting for all these years.

Maybe a lot of us had forgotten why we uphold the Malay Ketuanan status. It is not because we want to reap the nation's wealth with biased distribution of contracts and business oppurtunities but simply because we are entrusted Muslims who are capable of governing a just and prosperous country.

For what is worth, I will vow not to trust any non-muslims when it comes to running this country because as a Muslim, we are bound by moral codes and ethics and our concern is this life and the hereafter.

We are Muslims first, Malay second.

Here here.

Eewwwwphemism

Eewwww.... for some of you might sound like

Euphemism to others.

I just think euphemism should only be experienced verbally and not by means of physical contact.

Kesian budak yang tak tahu-menahu itu:

You Tengah Bace Blog?

We malays like to do some friendship bolt tightening by means of friendly obvious questions. Like how we will ask a friend who is on his way home "Balik rumah?"

"Tak tak tak, rumah aku dah direlocatedkan ke office and vice versa so sekarang ni pergi balik office la ni."

That's what we usually call Loya Buruk.

According to Wikipedia, Loya means grand assembly. Buruk means downtrodden or old. So I am a frequent old grand assembly. Booyah!

"Afiq tgh buat model?"
"Tak tak tak, tgh main Lego."

"Sibok nampak."
"Tak siboklah, tak nampak ke aku tengah bersantai ni?"

And the paling tak tahan:

"Minum milo ais?"
I'll usually check the content of the plastic first before any dose of unintended sarcasm. "Tak nampak ke? Sirap limau ais ni..."

Wouldn't a simple, hey.. apa khabar suffice? Or assalamualaikum without the extra kopi kapal api's 'Ain? Is it so hard to greet friends casually without having to appear dumb, stupid or both?

And my personal favourite obvious question:

"Tengah blog?"
"Tak tak tak, tgh mengkaji ekonomi dunia online."

Change is in the Air

Our country is changing. Ku Li and Anwar wants be our next PM.

I personally prefer Ku Li because I don't have any suspicion against him. Anwar in the other hand is still trailed by allegations of him joining forces with the US government.

Change is in the air. Even trees in IIUM are blossoming seperti lemang yang sudah dimicrowave yang baru keluar dari tupperware. Smoky and enticing.

I've always thought Rafidah looks like a bulldog, not a tigress. This is a tigress to me:

And this is a bulldog:

They're both so different. How can NST not see that?

This is a gorilla:

Over and Out

Portfolio's over. Sigh. Do you want to see how I smile when I get cuak (panic). I'll show you.

See more pictures of our studio presentation at Tya's blog. It's a lopsided smile with a twist of irony. My face is practically saying "Right right right, whatever." I don't like that part of myself. The stubborn part. I have the moral flexibility to become stubborn when it's most convenient to not to be stubborn and vice versa. The point is, I errr... can somewhat decide the density of my spine. I'm neither spineless nor courageous. Just very very twisted and annoying.

My design days are over and I believe I know what I'm good at, an inclination that is worth pursuing. I cannot stand another few years of uni education. I need to get educated but in the dog-fuck-dog world of industrial and graphic design. I just really really like pleasing people with my designs, tu je. I like it when people reacted to my designs with a smile and get excited all of a sudden. I like it when their eyes gleam when they get to choose one design out of the choices I made for them. And I like the smell of money, especially when I can instantly get hold of it without having to wait every month for pay day. The unpredictabilty of it all is -whoa- so very exciting. It gives me a sense of purpose to get up from bed, knowing every minute I'll spend doing what I'm doing will contribute to other people's happiness.

I never say never but there is a high possibility that I will never be an architect. I've began to loathe architecture. I'm very sure this university has something to do with it but I'd reconsidered my options a long time ago. I'd officially stopped learning architecture 2 years ago.

All I need now is experience. Lots and lots of creativity-business experience. And the oppurtunity to design. I think I want to join an advertizing firm or make it on my own. This is as far as I go when it comes to planning my future. Everything else will be later determined by fate.

Again with the Hair!

Today's portfolio was a bumpy one. To start off the whole drama, I was screamed at by a lecturer in front of 15 other lecturers because of my hair. Again with the hair. After presenting the site analysis with my studiomate, the lecturer stood up and commented me about my hair. As his voice grew louder and his eyes buldging out of his skull's sockets, I smiled.... and smiled even more.

It was a strange reaction of public humiliation but hey, I imagined butterflies and roses coming out of his mouth, not insults.

I'm in my third year and I'm still getting scolded for my fringe. It's a fringe, get over it. Islamic indeed! The thought of IIUM being an Islamic university never fails to make me vomit. Why, if having a fringe is so unIslamic, how about public humiliation? Islamic meh?

It has been going on for years, his vendetta against my hair. Apparently, he will only be satisfied when every strand of hair is a quarter of inch long. He then demanded that I cut it before tomorrow which I won't. The funny thing was, while he was spraying his saliva all over our site analysis model, a couple of lecturers were whispering audibly.

"Pendek la tuh..." whispered one.

"I've seen longer..." whispered another.

By the end of the presentation which will be our last, the most memorable thing that will forever be remembered by all the lecturers of our studio will be Afiq's cool fringe.

And I'm rather proud of that, thank you very much.

In a nutshell, IIUM is an excellent university with comprehensive learning of Islamic values. The IIUM staffs will make sure that you will abide by the concept of Tawhid by commenting, insulting, intimidating and my personal favourite, by giving RM50 summons to ensure graduates will turn out to become model citizens with strong Islamic principles and thorough understanding of values and virtues. Dot dot dot.

Dot.

Dot.

Dot.

Yeah!!!!

Portfolio will be on Tuesday. Yeay. It will be an ending to a beginning and a beginning to another ending. Another end of a wonderful chapter of my design life. I have loads of things I want to design and it doesn't necessarily have to be buildings.

I would like to thank my landscape architecture student roommate, Sirul Rock for supplying me beautifully cropped trees and Suhail for teaching me basics of 3D max. After an hour of getting used to, I finally produced a few perspectives for my final presentation board.

These are some of my police station perspectives:

I really want to explain about the design but hey, no one cares. Not even me for the time being.

DAPat sudah maaa....

I'm really really tired. Really really really really tired. It's the aftermath of the final presentation. After three weeks of constant thinking and designing, the week after the presentation is bound to be a week of tireless sleeping, idle reading and music listening, it's like refilling the three week's absence of boredom.

DAP DAP, sikalang baru lu tau.

I told you many a time, DAP consists of racist twits who do not respect our constitution and culture.

I told you so.

I told you so.

We are not racist people, we malay. We go to chinese business establishment and get cheated and won't mind at all. Do you think for a second chinese people will even touch the tiles of a malay establishment? Maybe western-educated chinese in KL won't mind but not the rest of the lot. So when DAP decides to abolish NEP because they don't want race to become a barrier of a wholesome social and economic development, please anticipate the fact that the only people who will benefit from this is the chinese because malays are not prepared to survive in the chinese-dominated business atmosphere.

They can say whatever they want but Malaysia is very much a third world country with a third world mentality. A type of mentality where a privileged bunch of people can easily take advantage of the downtrodden. Where the priviledged can justify their hideous acts based on biased logic.

Well

I told you so.

Makcik Yang Bermasalah Dengan Anaknya

How's my BM? For comments or enquiries, call 016- 289 96kiss-my-white-glossy-ass. Heheh, another disturbing mental image you'll have to endure for a few days ahead~

Tomorrow's presentation day and I'm amused by how calm I am right now. After three years of constant procrastination, this dog finally learned a new trick!

I was waiting for my design to finish printing and decided to venture out to the unknown; I went to Carrefour. As I was strolling its empty corridors to the food court and amused myself prying over desperate salesmen and delusional housewives, I noticed an old women tagging along a seemingly stuck-up yuppy lady. We went to the same stall and as she ordered for herself and the old lady, she scold the old lady for constantly shaking her hands while carrying her yong tau fu. "Ape ni? Tumpah lah kuah tu. Janganlah menyusahkan I ok? Go straight ahead to the table..." The old lady tried to carry her yong tau fu and spilled a few drips of gravy onto the floor. "Go go go go, to the table!" the stuck-up yuppy paid the cashier, carried their food and went straight to a vacant table, leaving the old lady behind.

I shook my head in disbelief and having an attention span of a fly, I quickly gorge my mind with images of myself gorging.

After an hour of reading KLUE magazine in a public toilet (reading with my pants down is somewhat liberating) and surveying handphone housings, I went back to my car. Beside my car is a volvo with its passenger seat door opened. The old lady I saw earlier was sitting in it alone.

"Oh mak!" muttered a very shock pengecut.

"Nak, makcik ni, yang tadi tu."

"Terkejut saye. Minta maaf ek."

"Maaf lah nak ternampak anak makcik mengamuk tadi."

I sensed myself trying my best to somehow distant myself from the women. I didn't want to know what's up with her and her mother. I have loads of issues to settle with mine and didn't want to be burdened by another bitter child-mother experience.

"Biasa la tu, orang muda-muda makcik..."

"Dulu saya macam tu lah, nak sangat anak saya sempurna, cukup, senang."

Omg omg omg, she's spilling it! Wait, wait, wait. What the heck eh, listening to other people's problem is therapeutic. And there we were, two opened doors, a satria and a very savvy looking volvo.

"Tulah...."

"Sekarang die dah sempurna, die dah senang, die dah cukup tapi die marah dekat makcik. Biasalah kita nak buat ape lagi, tak pernah nak berbaik."

"Makcik ade kasar dengan anak makcik ke dulu?" asked the penyibok owner of a loud satria.

"Bukan kasar, tegas. Tak tau la die skarang kenape. Dah senang tapi tak senang-senang lagi. Susah je hati die. Apa-apa pun makcik jugak kene. Tak tau la..."

"Susahla ek.. saye pun bergaduh ngan mak saye jugak. Dah 3 bulan lebih tak cakap.."

"Iye? Sekarang rase macam mane?"

"Entahlah, rasa bebas sket kot, macam dah tak susah hati sangat."

"Pape pun nak, nasihat orang tua nih, pape pun buat ape yang kite nak untuk Allah, bukan untuk orang lain. Ingat mulut orang tua masin.."

"Makcik suke makan choki-choki? Saye ade beli lebih ni takut tak habis pulak."

Yes, as inappropriate as that might be, she'd accepted my buy 10 free 1 packet of choki-choki and continued waiting in the car.

I left Carrefour wondering about what she'd said and until now could not comprehend with the gravity of her situation. I guess life IS a cycle. You may not mean anything terrible with people around you but exuding anger and frustration is like a ride to the Eye of Malaysia. You will somehow get back to the same place, to the same state of reckoning. As I was nearing my emotional epiphany, I finally remembered I actually bought the choki-choki for my roommate. Dia pesan. I bought another packet at 7/11 on my way to UIA.

Thank god its a buy 10 free 1 promotion packet. What a money saver!

Oh yeah, introducing the very famous MAK BEDAH!!!!

And my man Dr. M admitting his Machiavellian rule of thumb. It's politics man, it's only natural. You stab me I stab you, huhuhu.

OPS Design

Excitement is in the air, I really don't care.

Change is here, shut my ears.

My final presentation is on Thursday, so as usual, I've been locking myself inside my room for days. Obscurity is my friend, everything else are fiends.

So I heard the opposition is taking over 5 states including KayEL. May be this a wake up call to all BN politicians: don't get too comfy in your homes and unclarified source of income.

Personally, I think BN is the best coalition to run the government but man oh man, they'd gone astray for the past few years.

It's a good but unexpected wake up call.

And who'd expected hotshots like Sharizat, Koh Tsu Koon and my very favourite comedian, Sammy Vellu to have lost. Yer see kids, anything can happen in politics. In the past few years, people have been urging Sammy Vellu to retire discreetly but he turned a blind eye. Hah, padan muka. He'd probably ran off to India to meditate and smoke pot. Why, I might even meet him there while trekking, crouching underneath a fly over or bridge like this:

And Shahrizat can finally have the chance of opening her cosmetic company she. All is well.

And my favourite winner is the very hot Izzah! Never mind she has a vindictive vengeful father. She is still the It-girl. She's my cup of grey earl tea. My santan in my curry. My forgotten tissue in my laundered clothes. She is all that, and more.

And my most unfavoured winner is the ridiculously ambitious KJ.

You know what I heard though? I heard they were an item when Anwar was still deputy prime minister. I heard lah. Kj Kj... you womaneater you... You're so vain.. I bet you think this blog is about you, don't you... don't you..... *why am I singing?*

Right.

Maaf, my inner bitch was acting up.

It'll be best for me to stop blogging before she takes over.

I'll probably be in a whimsy state again this Thursday so clear your blog reading schedule that day and make time for my blog. I'll probably have a series of moodswings and experience a NeilGaiman-ish philosophical moment. Man, even I anticipate my own state of depression. What a loser..

Same Me Veil Loo

My favourite comedian aside from the legendary Russel Peters is Mr. MIC himself, Samy Vellu. Try reading this list of his most notorious statements and not laugh. Impossible I tell you, impossible...

1. Commenting on the speed and efficiency of Pos Laju's delivery system:"Besok kirim, hari ini sampai!"

2. At a TV interview, when trying to say he was ashamed, he said:"Kemaluan saya besar."

3. Samy Vellu once said in a speech:"Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orang-orang kampong di sini."One Pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai, buat apa bina jambatan?"and Samy gloriously replied, "Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"

4. Samy 's favorite quote on national television:"Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!?"

5. During the water crisis:"Semua orang diminta jangan membuang aiyerr."

6. Regarding social problems:"..orang-orang muda sekarang banyak hisap dada.."

7. At a blood donation campaign in Sungei Siput:"..marilah kita semua menderma dara.."

8. During the height of the Al-Arqam saga, he said in a press conference:"Saya gembira bahawa didapati tiada pemuda MIC terlibat dalam kes Arqam."

9. At an opening ceremony:"Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, saudara mara, sesudah semua orang makan kenyang, sekarang kita mempersilakan Datin Paduka Rafidah Aziz naik ke pentas untuk membuka kain."

10. Commenting about his modesty:"Sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar."

11. Pilihanraya:"Orang PAS selalu kafir sama orang, saya pun dia kafirkan."

12. On the leak issue at the Parliament:"Itu attap bocor sebab ada banyak sampah! Awak ingat saya kasi bawa naik itu sampahkah?"

Die-rrhea

One of the many meals I'd eaten must've been unsanitary, which might explain my severe case of diarrhea that includes headaches, a fever and loose motion.

It all started with a nightmare I had on Sunday, a compilation of many ways I get myself killed. It's like my very own Final Destination. Scary giler. I've been lying on my bed for three frieking days. Too tireless to sleep but too tired to get off bed.

I don't get sick easily so when I do, I sometimes have no idea how to treat my illnesses. So when I found out how sick I was, I asked a lot of people about diarrhea remedies, only to find out most of their ideal treatments are somewhat bizzare.

1. Drink a lot of 100 PLUS

2. Pil Teck Aun

3. A spoonfull of honey and a quarter glass of vinegar

4. Mahalah Siddiq's Chicken Chop?

5. A whole day's sleep

7. Eno

8. Milo ais

9. Sweet yogurt (the mid-eastern type)

10. A spoonful of sugar (must be a Marry Poppins fan)

and the weirdest of the lot:

11. Watch porn

The Unmentioned Killer

Seronok tengok dier makan ek....

I get that a lot in kenduris. Come on la makcik, I know for sure that you actually wanted to say "Jelesnye aku tengok ko makan 3 pinggan tak risau-risau."

It's a weekend of kenduris, from Kenduri Kahwin to Kenduri Arwah. Happy or sad, we gotta get ourself a chunk load of food! Food mediates extremes. It somehow moderate happiness and cut short sadness. It is a language understood by all, okay not all, with the exception of bullimics. And you know how kenduri hosts tend to boast their status by making their food extremely high in cholestrol. It seems like cholestrol is the currency for kenduris, the higher the content, the better the reception. Imagine a kenduri with low-fat rendang, curry with soy milk alternative and lots and lots of veggies.... Sayur? That category of food is oblivious in kenduri menus. More than one serving of veggies will invite raised eyebrows. "Tak cukup budget ke Mak Jah kiter buat banyak banyak lauk sayur ni..."

And when studies shows that cholestrol kills more people than road accidents, Mak Jah kita buat-buat terkejut.

Death rates caused by cigarettes do not even come close to deaths caused by santan and minyak in Malaysia. And yet the government think it is only suitable to advertize the danger of smoking. Why not making a Taknak ad about excessive use of santan and oil. (imagine a bowl of curry with an emboldened red cross)

Orangputeh mesti tertanya-tanya... "George, what is it with Malaysians and their fascination with crosses. I see crosses everywhere on the roads, on flags, on the telly and on curries? I love curry. Malaysia bagus... Malaysia buleh!