And So It Has Begun...

I think it's a disgrace that some Malaysians do not know which is which. Like the Malaysian Flag; do you think that idiot knows which flag affliate what? If you ought to burn something, burn mashmellow lah, it smells subtly pleasant and gives the mashmellow a desirable crust, all the while creaming the filling.

Yum.

I'm too much of a bum to touch on political agendas because I can't vote yet so no matter how much yappadayappa is going on, I can't do anything about it. Talking about politics, I was driving my Tok Nda to a mamak shop a week ago and once we were there we met an enstranged uncle who is all the rave about politics, UMNO ect. ect. My grandmother, being a member of Wanita Umno discussed with him about the coming elections.

"Amir dengar ada wanita UMNO nak kena pecat tahun ni..."

"Tak tau pulak, ye la saye ni dah lama tak amek tahu"

I sat quietly, eating my tosay like an obedient cucu.

And then there was a moment I almost choked and slowly withdraw myself from the mamak aluminum table. It was then when I heard some ideas to encourage people to vote for UMNO.

"Senang je, kite tak bagi buku teks kat budak yang makbapak dorang tak undi UMNO. Baru padan la muka!"

Wow.

As a Rakyat who can't vote yet and has no obligation to any parties, here are some suggestions for you to fully apprehend the coming election:

1. Go the ceramah and campaign. And remember to record what your MP promised so you can bring it up later when the future scum/leader is in power.

2. Sit still. Stand still. There is no need to parade with flags and banners, unless you're doing so because your preferred candidate is a medium of change. If you are carrying any party banner, behave yourself, especially when the FRU is around. Tegur the FRU personel with pleasant comments like "Panas ek hari ni?" or "Abang misai, you single and available ke?"

3. Action speaks louder than word. March and have one person with a loudspeaker to chant you parties' slogans. Do not shout, because the One In a Million audition is coming to a city near you!

4. If you have a baby and a politician attempt to kiss the baby, be a valiant warior and receive the kiss yourself. It work wonders, especially when you're a guy and you hate the other guy running for MP.

5. Ask killer questions during the Q&A session during the campaign like "Ada apa dengan Cinta?", "Adakah KJ itu acronim untuk kangaroo jalanan?" or "Macha, Utang Teh Tarik dekat itu Kedai Mamak RK(seberang Jalan RK, tepi Gedung Emas Poh Kong) bila mau bayar?"

6. Take the opportunity to get an MC to ponteng kerja by joining an UMNO herd, smile aloud and shout "KE-A-DI-LAN!"

7. Next time when you are in political ectasy-bliss-whatever, do a 50 minute tough aerobic (by Susan Lane) at home instead of attending a march. Other than similar benefits like losing a few pound and working out a sweat, you can do so in the comfort of your own home.

Selamat Berpuasa!