No class today.. nadaa
I figure I should lose some weight
Amalina followed me again today..which is a little bit scary but nothing I can't handle. There's so many secrets lurking from corners of everyone's insecurity. I may have discovered some by venturing into their discreet realm and yup, I'm surprised. Secrets, secrets. I have MY own secret.. Haik's the only person who knows about it. This secret (shh....) will never be considered a secret when I'm in europe or the states but then again, I am currently in Malaysia..shhh....
Everyone's doing fine and swell and dandy(which is delightful to hear)..
Do u like that pic, Kuhaz... i know u do... i know u do...hahaha
It seems like my emotions are taking over me. Decisions I made are harsh. So harsh that I made a fool od myself. I feel like I need someone to punch me and said 'just stop it!' Sneers and smirks hurts. Eye rolling hurts. Ignorance hurts.
Aku dah bace blog ko.. ntah ape ape ntah..
That hurts.. dig deeper won't you..
I don't evade hurtful comments easily. I'll get hit and I'll lie lifelessly.. lifelessly..
And Haik, I blog not to hurt you but I feel relieved expressing myself through writing. Do yourself a favour and kaji selidik the situation before implying anything hurtful.
Diary of a PSYCHO guy: MADBA
6.00 - Haik tell me off, left some bruises there.
6.15 - followed him to HS
6.20 - since his table was occupied, i ate at the far corner of the cafeteria
6.45 - ate tembikai and drank soya bean beside a tembok
6.50 - rode off to a bridge nearby
7.00 - buat-buat tido (i know...psychotic isn't it?)
7.20 - he passed by.. dier buat donno that my bike is parked beside the bridge
7.22 - chased after him from a diff direction
7.25 - waited nearby Zain's car.
7.30- rode off to oops (bump) into them
7.35 - 'terserempak them again' so haik will have no reason to bump into me once we both sampai ke destinasi.
7.37 - mission failed
This is how i differentiate myself from others. I do ridiculous stuff for ridiculous reasons.
HEY, and please dont take this blog seriously. IT'S a personal blog. Go to madba's lah..
6.00 - Haik tell me off, left some bruises there.
6.15 - followed him to HS
6.20 - since his table was occupied, i ate at the far corner of the cafeteria
6.45 - ate tembikai and drank soya bean beside a tembok
6.50 - rode off to a bridge nearby
7.00 - buat-buat tido (i know...psychotic isn't it?)
7.20 - he passed by.. dier buat donno that my bike is parked beside the bridge
7.22 - chased after him from a diff direction
7.25 - waited nearby Zain's car.
7.30- rode off to oops (bump) into them
7.35 - 'terserempak them again' so haik will have no reason to bump into me once we both sampai ke destinasi.
7.37 - mission failed
This is how i differentiate myself from others. I do ridiculous stuff for ridiculous reasons.
HEY, and please dont take this blog seriously. IT'S a personal blog. Go to madba's lah..
Hiding in the closet eh? Check out www.carikawan.com and do a man-man search. U'll be surprised.
I sucked at writing poem...me me me me.. That's all I talked about. about me.. Ok la.. Fathi is super silent but super nice. Sue is super trendy but super blurry. Imran is super specky but super specky. What's next.. I'll show you pics of my studio lah.. Lepas dis bloglah.. mcm haik suke cakaplah.. caucau,,,
I sucked at writing poem...me me me me.. That's all I talked about. about me.. Ok la.. Fathi is super silent but super nice. Sue is super trendy but super blurry. Imran is super specky but super specky. What's next.. I'll show you pics of my studio lah.. Lepas dis bloglah.. mcm haik suke cakaplah.. caucau,,,
Do friends not cling together during a ravaging storm?
Do they not hold hands when the nature of water
turn violent of blue and gray?
Do they not breath life into each other when death
gives its teasing?
Do they not embrace when hope is near?
or give eachother a pat on the back
when the future unfolds
to be a disater?
Do they not do all this?
Do they even need to proclaim
Their bond of brotherhood?
Do they need to write
Inscription of their journeys?
Do they need to do all these?
Friendship speak a language of truth
it speaks through the heart with love
as a medium
It speaks loudly through kindness
and speaks slowly through persuasion
but it speaks no lies
no deceitful means
it's only natural
Do they not hold hands when the nature of water
turn violent of blue and gray?
Do they not breath life into each other when death
gives its teasing?
Do they not embrace when hope is near?
or give eachother a pat on the back
when the future unfolds
to be a disater?
Do they not do all this?
Do they even need to proclaim
Their bond of brotherhood?
Do they need to write
Inscription of their journeys?
Do they need to do all these?
Friendship speak a language of truth
it speaks through the heart with love
as a medium
It speaks loudly through kindness
and speaks slowly through persuasion
but it speaks no lies
no deceitful means
it's only natural
Sue told me that I'm clingy. I guess she's right. I am.. clingy... I know.
The problem is I am a target for bullies since I was 8 and each bully either got caned by the principal or suspended. Classmates began to alienate me and this happens throughout my childhood until i was 16. I didn't get bullied then except for that half german blob of a guy.. Geramnye.. but he left school. phew..
So Haik I'm sorry that our perspective on friendship differ but that's alright. I guess i cherished my friends. They are rare, u know. And I dont think we have to 'declare' friendship.. it's an understanding between both parties. We don't even have to declare relationships..
So that's that. I will just be super careful when befriending others or i'll get hurt again. I hate getting hurt. Eh, recent events made me read cold mountain furiously and in less than 2 days, i practically finished it... Inman died.. sigh.. Ada married a boy...sigh.. happy ending? Ade la sket; the part when Inman nazak during the snow storm and Ada kissed him, like two passionate lovers...in silence of death.. sigh..
Kay.. next book please...
Watched big momma.. Hilarious like heck; im not implying heck is hilarious; it's just an expression. Cool movie.. Baik punya cilok... thumbs down BORING>>>>>
So what's next haik? (chewah, konon dah ok la tu).. Mom's back in Sabah with Putra... Oh yes, Hadi (my bro) is going to Kedah in about a month. I won't be going anywhere.. Gombak sucks! It sucks all the fun of KLness.
And blogreaders... keep the info to yourself rite.. HA.. maybe this haik fued is JUST a tactic to attract more readers.. The truth is out there. I am in here in the bilal CC typing like a madman.
It's only natural
The problem is I am a target for bullies since I was 8 and each bully either got caned by the principal or suspended. Classmates began to alienate me and this happens throughout my childhood until i was 16. I didn't get bullied then except for that half german blob of a guy.. Geramnye.. but he left school. phew..
So Haik I'm sorry that our perspective on friendship differ but that's alright. I guess i cherished my friends. They are rare, u know. And I dont think we have to 'declare' friendship.. it's an understanding between both parties. We don't even have to declare relationships..
So that's that. I will just be super careful when befriending others or i'll get hurt again. I hate getting hurt. Eh, recent events made me read cold mountain furiously and in less than 2 days, i practically finished it... Inman died.. sigh.. Ada married a boy...sigh.. happy ending? Ade la sket; the part when Inman nazak during the snow storm and Ada kissed him, like two passionate lovers...in silence of death.. sigh..
Kay.. next book please...
Watched big momma.. Hilarious like heck; im not implying heck is hilarious; it's just an expression. Cool movie.. Baik punya cilok... thumbs down BORING>>>>>
So what's next haik? (chewah, konon dah ok la tu).. Mom's back in Sabah with Putra... Oh yes, Hadi (my bro) is going to Kedah in about a month. I won't be going anywhere.. Gombak sucks! It sucks all the fun of KLness.
And blogreaders... keep the info to yourself rite.. HA.. maybe this haik fued is JUST a tactic to attract more readers.. The truth is out there. I am in here in the bilal CC typing like a madman.
It's only natural
Elanour Roosevelt: no one can hurt you without your consent.
I can make myself look like I'm not hurt but I really am. I'm a full time sucker in friendship. I know. I still have you KID. Do you know that feeling; when your eyes twitched and your eyelashes danced to the flicker of your surprised eyelids. The feeling of having all moisture in your body sucked to the head, your head starts feeling heavy and your ears ached with great irritation. You cheeks flushed with colours of cherries and apple and soothing cold, salty liquid soothed the intense heat of your face. God is great. Imagine being upset without crying; would've been a nightmare, wouldn't it.
Here I am feeling sour and bitter and there's Haikal in the cafeteria, talking to a group of girls. He probably didn't feel a thing. So be it.
Investigation continues; I asked all his so called cliques about him, you know, his hidden traits and I collected similar response. They all think that Haikal is an introvert by nature with his hidden agenda revolving around himself. Another word for it: just plain selfish. To caught up with himself to cared about others. Farhat told me that Haikal sometimes didn't even say a word to him for a week. He didn't bother so why should Farhat? They got used to his attitude I guess.. kinda vain really, look at his friendster profile. I should've sense this earlier
Well, I value friendship and one bad apple will not poison me. Never. Friendship is for eternity. It's only natural.
HURT....
Tell me what went wrong here. This is the smses between me and Haikal:
Afiq
Haikal
Knape aku jahatkan? Apsalkan? Hmm... Kalau ikutkan, aku macam terhegeh nk ikut ko kan? Aku testla cuba 2,3 hari tak cakap ngan ko n then mmg ko tak kisah nk tegur sapa pun. Rasa diri macam poyo lebik kt ko so ntah, aku ada confuse sket, Ko takyah cakap pe2. Aku tgh rasa macam loserish skang
Ey sory 2 msges ko, aku br dapat..la.pesal nie? aku tak buat ape-ap pun.huhu
Tulah. Sbb ko tal buat ape2 lah aku rasa loserish. Mcm aku tak layak disapa. Ko je ake sapa n org lain. Ntahla haik, aku tak tau kenapa tapi aku sakit hati sket.
I was stupid to think you even cared as a friend. Im stupid to make qualities that's not even yours.
(one hour later) You didnt cared to text back. Wat a fren! Piss off..
Ala, aku mmg layan org macam tu. tapi kalau ko terase tu aku tak taula.. huhu..da
Aku je yang asyik layan ko kan. Aku yang ajak ko makan, aku yang tanya pasal design, aku yang pergi bilik ko. Ko pernah tak. Aku tak tau la haik.
Mmg aku layan org macam tu. Fikri, Imran, Farhat semua aku layan macamtu. Kalau ko saket hai tu aku tak taula tapi buat pe aku nak pretend kan. Mmg aku layan org macam tuh, sory ah kalau ko terase tapi nak buat camne
Haikal. Ko betol. Aku Salah
For what I've done to you, you compared me with Imran, Fikri, Farhat... who probably never even... gosh, i'm pissed. Is this what people call friendship. (crying) I thought we were best friends. I tell you all my secrets and so did u. We designed under the candle light talking about stuff i never thought i could talk to to a human being. I cried, complained and shared all my entities with you and still.......
You hurt me too many times, Haik.
Remember the time when you told me you're not going to do anything special during portfolio day but when i came to the studio at night to post my drawings, u were there decorating ur partition, outdoing all the others. Do u know how it hurts when u lied? I cried, picked myself up, look for anything from the garbage bin to decorate my partition.
U wanted to borrow my bike pump. I brought it over to ur room. I told you before hand that i need it for my bike. U didn't bother. I went to ur room and took it back. It hurts haik. I feel like shit.
U hurt me too many times since matrix but i stuck with you...
And now you're comparing me with the lots that teased and intimidated you. I protected you for some reason. God.. I feel like a fool. U can't imagine how wet my shirt is wiping all this tears. Please...God, why do u keep doing this to me.. introducing me to friends that hurt me so much. I'm hurt. Really, really hurt.
Time willeth heal the broken twig of a shattered heart...
Afiq
Haikal
Knape aku jahatkan? Apsalkan? Hmm... Kalau ikutkan, aku macam terhegeh nk ikut ko kan? Aku testla cuba 2,3 hari tak cakap ngan ko n then mmg ko tak kisah nk tegur sapa pun. Rasa diri macam poyo lebik kt ko so ntah, aku ada confuse sket, Ko takyah cakap pe2. Aku tgh rasa macam loserish skang
Ey sory 2 msges ko, aku br dapat..la.pesal nie? aku tak buat ape-ap pun.huhu
Tulah. Sbb ko tal buat ape2 lah aku rasa loserish. Mcm aku tak layak disapa. Ko je ake sapa n org lain. Ntahla haik, aku tak tau kenapa tapi aku sakit hati sket.
I was stupid to think you even cared as a friend. Im stupid to make qualities that's not even yours.
(one hour later) You didnt cared to text back. Wat a fren! Piss off..
Ala, aku mmg layan org macam tu. tapi kalau ko terase tu aku tak taula.. huhu..da
Aku je yang asyik layan ko kan. Aku yang ajak ko makan, aku yang tanya pasal design, aku yang pergi bilik ko. Ko pernah tak. Aku tak tau la haik.
Mmg aku layan org macam tu. Fikri, Imran, Farhat semua aku layan macamtu. Kalau ko saket hai tu aku tak taula tapi buat pe aku nak pretend kan. Mmg aku layan org macam tuh, sory ah kalau ko terase tapi nak buat camne
Haikal. Ko betol. Aku Salah
For what I've done to you, you compared me with Imran, Fikri, Farhat... who probably never even... gosh, i'm pissed. Is this what people call friendship. (crying) I thought we were best friends. I tell you all my secrets and so did u. We designed under the candle light talking about stuff i never thought i could talk to to a human being. I cried, complained and shared all my entities with you and still.......
You hurt me too many times, Haik.
Remember the time when you told me you're not going to do anything special during portfolio day but when i came to the studio at night to post my drawings, u were there decorating ur partition, outdoing all the others. Do u know how it hurts when u lied? I cried, picked myself up, look for anything from the garbage bin to decorate my partition.
U wanted to borrow my bike pump. I brought it over to ur room. I told you before hand that i need it for my bike. U didn't bother. I went to ur room and took it back. It hurts haik. I feel like shit.
U hurt me too many times since matrix but i stuck with you...
And now you're comparing me with the lots that teased and intimidated you. I protected you for some reason. God.. I feel like a fool. U can't imagine how wet my shirt is wiping all this tears. Please...God, why do u keep doing this to me.. introducing me to friends that hurt me so much. I'm hurt. Really, really hurt.
Time willeth heal the broken twig of a shattered heart...
What makes people likable.... i don't know.. but i'm pretty sure there are more ppl who dislike me than otherwise (must've been the song i'm listening to now: avril lavigne)
BEWARE, AFIQ is writing roJAk;
i mean like some get testis everyday... not quality testilah,, something like hi there, or oi lamer tak jumpe blabla and loads of other shit (madba kicking in)
Me? I get testis from the same people over and over again. (depressed) sigh.... i like to smile though. i make everybody around me smile when i feel like it. I think it's the bike. (putting the blame on anything is darn acceptable as far as my logic is concern)
Sigh...
BEWARE, AFIQ is writing roJAk;
i mean like some get testis everyday... not quality testilah,, something like hi there, or oi lamer tak jumpe blabla and loads of other shit (madba kicking in)
Me? I get testis from the same people over and over again. (depressed) sigh.... i like to smile though. i make everybody around me smile when i feel like it. I think it's the bike. (putting the blame on anything is darn acceptable as far as my logic is concern)
Sigh...
Pic: fr left, afiq, zwan, haikal, and zAInPOST in MALAY
mood: tengah dengar lagu jesse mccartney.. Wargh bakar jesse.. bakar (i wanted to say burn bitch burn) tapi nanti kalau guna anjing betina, tak setimpal dengan perasaan yang cuba diluahkan. Terer tak afiq tulis dalam BM.. wahwahwah.. Afiq pun heran jugak, bila guna BM, Afiq guna samaran afiq sebab kalau cakap I macam bapuk. Jangan main-main, ni jaguh BM kat sri Insan dulu.
Kalau afiq cakap selalu dalam BM tapi kalau tulis gerenti eng jadi afiq terbalikkan senario. Bukan senario tu. Boleh jugak. Menyampah tgk Azlee buat lawak bodo kalau dia tercedera teruk memang memadai. Afiq sebenarnye sekarang kempunan nak berbual dengan sesiapa. Maklumlah afiq ni suka sangat bercakap tapi tak ada org yang boleh menerima kapasiti kebolehan afiq meluahkan perasaan, tulah afiq suka tulis blog (eyes are twitching like crazy. Can't do this no more.)
IKEA is so not from Denmark! Read more la macha. It's from Sweden (dumbblondemoment) like duh... i'm becoming madba.... no....full moon....wargh....(cloud blocks moon)(afiq back to normal)(phew)... sarcasm.. wonderously surprising trait of mine. It has it's own soul. It's madba. It's only natural
Can people converse with me in Eng please... i've been speaking malay nonstop for a month. Talk to me baby... talk..
I'm not gay. I appreciate pretty girls and handsome men but i only find women physically alluring. Someone i'm close with is though but he won't admit it. Funny.
I love my Goyah.. handphone. sad = sms mum, happy =sms dad, horny =sms *&(^*, bored =sms kid, i love you Goyah.. i play games with you, listen to music through u, threat a dog to back off using u, my alarm clock, i love ur mom to, nokia. I'll but ur new cloth kat pasar malam k... good goyah... come here, i'll charge u up.
Bittersweet... Wonderous course, argh. When ur bz, u'll be REALLY z but when ur free...enough said.
Dig this. I laughed histerically at 3 am reading cold mountain.. I'll type a piece of it here:
Neither knew what to say further, and so Inman said, I need to get on. He took Ada's hand on and just brushed his lip to the back of it and turned it loose.
When not twenty feet gone, though, he looked back over his shoulder and saw her just turning to walk to the house. Too soon. She had not even waited for him to round the first bend in the road.
Ada caught herself and stopped and looked at im. She threw up a hand in a wave and then realized that he was still to near for that suitable gesture, so she drew her hand awkwardly and tucked a stray bit of hair back into the heavy bun at her neck as if that had been her first intent.
That was just so lovely. Clumsy but lovely. Alas, my potential wife checklist;
-loves reading
-hates cooking
-art literate
-clumsy
-clear conscience
-true to herself
-likes learning new things (coz i don't)
-likes cheese
-wear black once i a while
-likes to watch oprah
-kind to everyone
-treats me as an equal, not as a guard dog.
-dig kuch kuch hota hai
Im asking too much for my own good. Too much. sigh. i need a bestfriend. a person who introduce me new music, new things, enlighten me with her perspective of the world, i really do. I do, i do, i do-oo. (tiru kel from Kenan n Kel)(u know the part when kenan ask kel 'want some orange soda')
Anyway hijjaz is coming this friday. boo hoo. I'll go make a model or something. I really want to be macho, strong but silent type but when i reconsider my personality shift decision, Strong silent type wont go far in life. They'll end up as gov workers with 5 kids. Being myself is such a bother. Ppl are disturbed with my 'loudness'. I express myself that way, what other way? what? what? Eish, i'm confused... really am... enlighten me.. i beg of you..
-
Neither knew what to say further, and so Inman said, I need to get on. He took Ada's hand on and just brushed his lip to the back of it and turned it loose.
When not twenty feet gone, though, he looked back over his shoulder and saw her just turning to walk to the house. Too soon. She had not even waited for him to round the first bend in the road.
Ada caught herself and stopped and looked at im. She threw up a hand in a wave and then realized that he was still to near for that suitable gesture, so she drew her hand awkwardly and tucked a stray bit of hair back into the heavy bun at her neck as if that had been her first intent.
That was just so lovely. Clumsy but lovely. Alas, my potential wife checklist;
-loves reading
-hates cooking
-art literate
-clumsy
-clear conscience
-true to herself
-likes learning new things (coz i don't)
-likes cheese
-wear black once i a while
-likes to watch oprah
-kind to everyone
-treats me as an equal, not as a guard dog.
-dig kuch kuch hota hai
Im asking too much for my own good. Too much. sigh. i need a bestfriend. a person who introduce me new music, new things, enlighten me with her perspective of the world, i really do. I do, i do, i do-oo. (tiru kel from Kenan n Kel)(u know the part when kenan ask kel 'want some orange soda')
Anyway hijjaz is coming this friday. boo hoo. I'll go make a model or something. I really want to be macho, strong but silent type but when i reconsider my personality shift decision, Strong silent type wont go far in life. They'll end up as gov workers with 5 kids. Being myself is such a bother. Ppl are disturbed with my 'loudness'. I express myself that way, what other way? what? what? Eish, i'm confused... really am... enlighten me.. i beg of you..
-
It's midnight. I have loads and loads of assignments including a submission tomorrow. I'm practically broke. Yet, yet, yet I feel lovely. It's God's presence. The love i reserved for myself rescued me. The love God provided. The love of my parents. They need not to text me any teddy bears made from numbers and symbols. They don't need to. I don't need to. Yet, yet, yet I feel their love. I really do. I don't mind if Umi berleter nonstop. i know she loves me. I don't mind if Bapak lectured me about my management skills. i know he loves me. I don't mind if God prepared difficult obstacles in my life. i know He loves me. I do.
And just for that.. i feel lovely.. i feel like writing a poem using architectural terms,, so i will (madba! jangan kacau)
U're always there, waiting
on the loggia, singing a heart-filled atrium..
There are membranes, planes that
incoperates seperation
so it seems
so it seems
u open your occoli when i my heart fell below
the relative temperature of human comfort
so i did
....opened my fenestration and welcomed you
u ventilated my habitation with much grace
u brought my comfort level to the understanding
of general comfort
80%
so i did
repositioned my mies to the landscape area
and solidified the understanding of your love
with a book in my hand
with my heart
with my soul
with my T square
i have the craziest crush ever on someone. It's so crazy that i decided to disclose any of its progress..
Oh and haikal wants me to 'clear up' his image by telling everyone he has a girlfriend. Funny. It's OK if ur orientation is different from others. It's just natural, funny.
And just for that.. i feel lovely.. i feel like writing a poem using architectural terms,, so i will (madba! jangan kacau)
U're always there, waiting
on the loggia, singing a heart-filled atrium..
There are membranes, planes that
incoperates seperation
so it seems
so it seems
u open your occoli when i my heart fell below
the relative temperature of human comfort
so i did
....opened my fenestration and welcomed you
u ventilated my habitation with much grace
u brought my comfort level to the understanding
of general comfort
80%
so i did
repositioned my mies to the landscape area
and solidified the understanding of your love
with a book in my hand
with my heart
with my soul
with my T square
i have the craziest crush ever on someone. It's so crazy that i decided to disclose any of its progress..
Oh and haikal wants me to 'clear up' his image by telling everyone he has a girlfriend. Funny. It's OK if ur orientation is different from others. It's just natural, funny.
It's hard to pick yourself up when your heart is at the deepest pit. My heart is. It's heavy and every breath of air seems cold and unseemly. Again, like any other presentations, i was outdo by haikal without justification.
A guest critic pointed out that she doesn't like my grass-ramp: i informed her that it will ease sewer flow, decrease absorbtion of sun heat and ...oh.. i'll go on forever. She still doesn't like it and made it obvious by only giving remarks about the ramp, ignoring any other sense of space i prepared. I was lashed. By heart tiptoed on the verge of total bodily disconnection. In short, i'm pissed. Haikal was again praised for his design. It's fully air-conditionered, bigger than the allowable site, does not have ANY landscape element and a mix n matched combination of STEEL AND GLASS. That means more air-conditioning. A humongous, bigger than life house for a couple with a kid. See... i'm never misdirected on my purpose of being angry with this predicament.
Again... me and my ecological design.. i'm going to stick to it, knowing that's the design of the future. Haikal maybe resembled designs in glossy architecture magazine but i'll proceed with my stance and be proud of it.
Work harder afiq... crying time is over... beat haikal in your own standards..
Thanks madba
A guest critic pointed out that she doesn't like my grass-ramp: i informed her that it will ease sewer flow, decrease absorbtion of sun heat and ...oh.. i'll go on forever. She still doesn't like it and made it obvious by only giving remarks about the ramp, ignoring any other sense of space i prepared. I was lashed. By heart tiptoed on the verge of total bodily disconnection. In short, i'm pissed. Haikal was again praised for his design. It's fully air-conditionered, bigger than the allowable site, does not have ANY landscape element and a mix n matched combination of STEEL AND GLASS. That means more air-conditioning. A humongous, bigger than life house for a couple with a kid. See... i'm never misdirected on my purpose of being angry with this predicament.
Again... me and my ecological design.. i'm going to stick to it, knowing that's the design of the future. Haikal maybe resembled designs in glossy architecture magazine but i'll proceed with my stance and be proud of it.
Work harder afiq... crying time is over... beat haikal in your own standards..
Thanks madba
mood: http://www.will-youngonline.com/cinema/
Something funny happened when i was on the LRT yesterday: a pickpocket succeeded to 'magically' make my wallet disapear from my pocket and it reappeared on the floor. Magic. Embarrassed, the pickpocket quickly mingled in the crowd and performed another trick: he disapeared. Hmm..... Eh, can you make your dignity dissapear too.. hahah.
i was not informed of a black out in uia but it did happened; at 10.30 and i was rushing to finish my presentation for this upcoming crit. Blinded and lost, i did my work outside, my vision was aided by the moonlight. It was not working too well so i did my work in a friend's room. Haikal's.
It's weird. It's not as though i'm in love with him or anything but our friendship is somewhat similar to a friendship i had when i was 9 years old. The chap's name is Jason Ng. We were as competitive as hungry dogs fighting over a sirlon steak but retraced our bond during lunch or after school. I never intended or declared our friendship but when we accidentally exchanged our english exercise book, he wrote.
"My best friend's name is Arfik. He is 9 years old. He is malay and his religeon is Islam. We like to talk and share lunch during recess. I like him very much and look forward to talk to him everyday."
The words stuck, as a token of pure childhood friendship. I really felt the same way. I can speak freely of anything when i'm with haikal. We're just very, very, very, very competitive. That's all. During my longlasting friendship with Jason, I began to become even more serious in my studies and beat him in everything, even math and passed the UPTS test and then, our friendship ended. Same goes with me and Stephanie but what if one day i'll surpass haikal. I don't want to lose another friend.
My fate is on your hand Allah, and i bid you praises for your rewards. Please make all my friendships lasting like my love to you. Amen.
Something funny happened when i was on the LRT yesterday: a pickpocket succeeded to 'magically' make my wallet disapear from my pocket and it reappeared on the floor. Magic. Embarrassed, the pickpocket quickly mingled in the crowd and performed another trick: he disapeared. Hmm..... Eh, can you make your dignity dissapear too.. hahah.
i was not informed of a black out in uia but it did happened; at 10.30 and i was rushing to finish my presentation for this upcoming crit. Blinded and lost, i did my work outside, my vision was aided by the moonlight. It was not working too well so i did my work in a friend's room. Haikal's.
It's weird. It's not as though i'm in love with him or anything but our friendship is somewhat similar to a friendship i had when i was 9 years old. The chap's name is Jason Ng. We were as competitive as hungry dogs fighting over a sirlon steak but retraced our bond during lunch or after school. I never intended or declared our friendship but when we accidentally exchanged our english exercise book, he wrote.
"My best friend's name is Arfik. He is 9 years old. He is malay and his religeon is Islam. We like to talk and share lunch during recess. I like him very much and look forward to talk to him everyday."
The words stuck, as a token of pure childhood friendship. I really felt the same way. I can speak freely of anything when i'm with haikal. We're just very, very, very, very competitive. That's all. During my longlasting friendship with Jason, I began to become even more serious in my studies and beat him in everything, even math and passed the UPTS test and then, our friendship ended. Same goes with me and Stephanie but what if one day i'll surpass haikal. I don't want to lose another friend.
My fate is on your hand Allah, and i bid you praises for your rewards. Please make all my friendships lasting like my love to you. Amen.
It seems that i am a bit eager to hang out with Haikal. Come to think about it, it's pretty pathetic. Yea...pathetic.
Haikal, nak makan kat ne?
Haikal ko pegi mana satgi?
Haikal, design ko macam mane?
I was expecting him to (at least) return the favour and persuade me to join his outings or lunch or whatever... but it seems now that he never even intended to do so. I'm being giddy, i know. So yesterday i stop talking to him and guess what, until this moment he haven't said a word to me. Pretty interesting, eh? Jual mahal eh Haik? It hurts a bit but i reckon this bitter feeling will wash off, given time.
It hurts when you know that you're giddy all over a person who doesn't give a shit about you. Hah. It hurts. Life lesson hurts. I know. So be it.
I just knew today that will young, winner of pop idol is gay!
He's website is supercool! http://www.will-youngonline.com/home/
madba: visit MY blog at http://madbacomplains.blogspot.com/ or or.... or.. i'l *^^&*%
afiq: it's raining girls, allahu akbar, it's raining girls
Haikal, nak makan kat ne?
Haikal ko pegi mana satgi?
Haikal, design ko macam mane?
I was expecting him to (at least) return the favour and persuade me to join his outings or lunch or whatever... but it seems now that he never even intended to do so. I'm being giddy, i know. So yesterday i stop talking to him and guess what, until this moment he haven't said a word to me. Pretty interesting, eh? Jual mahal eh Haik? It hurts a bit but i reckon this bitter feeling will wash off, given time.
It hurts when you know that you're giddy all over a person who doesn't give a shit about you. Hah. It hurts. Life lesson hurts. I know. So be it.
I just knew today that will young, winner of pop idol is gay!
He's website is supercool! http://www.will-youngonline.com/home/
madba: visit MY blog at http://madbacomplains.blogspot.com/ or or.... or.. i'l *^^&*%
afiq: it's raining girls, allahu akbar, it's raining girls
no fair
Three posts in one day...chilly.. (another version of cool...)
Umi, hadi and saiful went to genting N I DIDN'T!!! It's not fair...*jumping up and down* Tantrums seems fun when u come of age. Feels like... feels like .... feels like (i wanna go clubbing) It's getting more and more dangerous in KL for club outing. Jais is a round the corner and eventhough u don't take drugs or whatever, u'll get caught if ur muslim.
Looking chinese has its advantages eh?
Umi, hadi and saiful went to genting N I DIDN'T!!! It's not fair...*jumping up and down* Tantrums seems fun when u come of age. Feels like... feels like .... feels like (i wanna go clubbing) It's getting more and more dangerous in KL for club outing. Jais is a round the corner and eventhough u don't take drugs or whatever, u'll get caught if ur muslim.
Looking chinese has its advantages eh?
Ponteng CAD
I noticed that there are some pedophile profiles in friendster. Some with boys no younger than the age of 13 posing (gayishly) in front of the camera. They proclaimed proudly of their 'daddies' and 'brothers... it's a bit disturbing if you ask me. very disturbing actually.
Notably madba is also afq is one sense on another. He's a side in me that had kept me asking questions of the unknown, fight for whatever i felt right fighting about, risk my own safety for the sake of justice. I sound like superman now..
Up, up and away.....to the loo. ; P
Notably madba is also afq is one sense on another. He's a side in me that had kept me asking questions of the unknown, fight for whatever i felt right fighting about, risk my own safety for the sake of justice. I sound like superman now..
Up, up and away.....to the loo. ; P
me, myself and makcik
History class afterwards. Not its CAD. Had lunch with haikal which is quite entertaining; if u haven't noticed, i usually eat lunch alone. Ay, having lunch alone is very therapeutic u know. I contemplate on how on earth the makcik charge me 1.50 for this nugget size piece of fish with loads of tempura.
afiq:Makcik.. ni memang singgit lima ke makcik..
makcik: Ya dik. Kenapa?
a: tak mcm mahal ke?
m: mmg harga macam tu
madbda: Oi, woman! Hell with you and ur common sense!
a: Erm... Takpelah.. tapi harga dier mcm ayam tu kan(points at a huge fried drumstick)
m: yalah, memang macam tu dik oi...
a: ek? Hmm.. k lah
madba: Ape k lah klah, blasah je kerepot tuh!
a: takpelah...hmmm..
madba: Oi stupid! Ur busted! Kena tipu tu!
a: erm... oklah
m: adik ni sihat ke...
madba likes to bother me in my private contemplations....
afiq:Makcik.. ni memang singgit lima ke makcik..
makcik: Ya dik. Kenapa?
a: tak mcm mahal ke?
m: mmg harga macam tu
madbda: Oi, woman! Hell with you and ur common sense!
a: Erm... Takpelah.. tapi harga dier mcm ayam tu kan(points at a huge fried drumstick)
m: yalah, memang macam tu dik oi...
a: ek? Hmm.. k lah
madba: Ape k lah klah, blasah je kerepot tuh!
a: takpelah...hmmm..
madba: Oi stupid! Ur busted! Kena tipu tu!
a: erm... oklah
m: adik ni sihat ke...
madba likes to bother me in my private contemplations....
PLOG coming soon
It is admirably obvious that people could indulge themselves into other ppl's life through pictures. Even me.... so this blog will be more of a plog(another new word by afq) with loads of pics of me in UIA or anywhere else. Innit FUN KIDS! Hahaha...
Wo bu tse tau!!!!
I'm not going to do it! I'm too busy with my arch studies and projects. I'm turning to such a loser every second. Tick tock.... my designs are haphazard, messed up and everything is not in order. Everything! I'm just not satisfied with whatever I'd accomplished so far; which is no more greater than a tanjungrambutanese..,. Erm... It's a sign.. when i feel disconnected like this, it means......................it argh...means...erm..
(madba)make up ur mind bozo
It means..................Help me out here...
(madba)make up ur mind bozo
It means..................Help me out here...
TV presenter, me! BAH!
A friend of my aunt, a hot shot from the media business told me to go for 8tv's audition as a part timer; presenter when he heard me talking furiously with my uncle about the insulting cartoon controversy. He potong stim and ask me to call his friend Simon to get the detail of the audition. Cool eh? Not really... I'm dreadfully embarrassed when speaking my childhood english; the english accent i've been using since i was erm... 9. The time I went to Sabah. It's very weird, this accent so I dare not use it in UIA. No one ever heard of it before. No one! I used my normal malaysian english accent which I'm not to comfortable with because.... it's more acceptable. The audition... i'm really not sure. Should I. I talk rubbish all the time. My fantasies.. u really don't want to go there.. and I'm not much of a looker.. Argh! I'll sleep on it.
2 tired
Tired, flustered and demoralized. Too tired to walk or even sleep. Too tired to remain sane. Too tired lah; to the point of me tending to stupid and ridiculous acts like writing this. Sleeplah ek.......................................
why, why, why
A blunder... this afiq guy.. he woke up at 12 in the afternoon, lingered in his room aimlessly, read a bit of lime and starts mocking away. madba: he's really thinking too much that every little detail of flaws intrigued this rotten rambutan. He looked at the mirror, thinking "why is my hair all spiked up? why do ppl always claim that i dyed my hair? Why does it grow that fast? Why are these eyebrows a tad bit askew? Madba: Full of whys... Why are u spending ur afternoon looking at yourself, u piece of vain magazine cover. "Why am i so short? Why do i sound like a girl? Why am i super sensitive? Why..." madba: Oi... assignments... ur assignments! "Why is a part of me mocking my daily habit? Why haven't i baiki my bike"
madba: i give up... so be it.
Afiq and his insecurities...
madba: i give up... so be it.
Afiq and his insecurities...
Get it over with afq!
I just don't get the fact why i cant even apologize to this certain someone without contemplating it like it was a life or death decision. Its just an apology, AFQ! Get it over with. Anywayz im making too many enemies for my own good. Liyana's not talking to me anymore because i termaki 'bastard' when her boyfren purposely plummeted himself at me. Should i apologize? Logically, i shouldn't... i know some ppl are making fun of me behind my back...
OH AFQ... grow up says madba... u still have this character dilemma crap u should have dealt with years ago. Get it over with,, afq. Aiyo.
Madba and afq thinks differently.
OH AFQ... grow up says madba... u still have this character dilemma crap u should have dealt with years ago. Get it over with,, afq. Aiyo.
Madba and afq thinks differently.
something's missing
The feeling of emptiness seeps in. Friends goes astray, with directions as i have none. No direction. No methods of reconstructing friendship. Men! Why do men make friendship so bloody difficult. Ego and pride clouds the true meaning of friendship. I fell unattached. I feel empty. I need something.... i really do... i need it badly... i just don't know what it is...
I need love.... or maybe not.... but i need it badly
I need love.... or maybe not.... but i need it badly
madba contemplates...
Long story short: freedom of speech versus respect for religeonThe Danes provoked muslims by their strips of harshly insulting catoons, muslims are irritated and angered, some attacked ambassies, some talked diplomatically, many boycotted danish products.A peaceful, harmonious, civilazation as cited by the europeans co-existed with satirical behaviour? Hmmm.... Pretentious or hoping too much? It is clash between islam, free press and the secular world. Which will triumph? Which? None if all three sectors with their pool of mind clouded by local wheather.Anti-semitic cartoons has limits in Denmark but what about Islam? Satire has its limit, euro pricks. Been there before, they are easily offended by the presence of muslims. I was not too bothered since I was an image of chinese or japanese teen tourist. I saw it clearly when Germans took a second look at my mum and nudged their friends to 'discuss' my mum's dressing eccentricity. She was wearing a hijjab. So what. Ur wearing a cap... Ooopss... overboard there...I'll just stop here...watching a hour hour bbc news on the net/...
Success des
lagu dgimon: Afiq bertukar menjadi burunghantuMon! ngahahaaha... flu... Studio today was just downright boring. Boring lecturers, boring environment...
People are weirdos in their own different ways so flaunt it. Successful people are all weirdos. If u settled to be an average joe, chances are: ur not going to make it. Success usually are driven by rebelious acts. So dig deeper and find that unique 'you' hiding somewhere between the bigger and smaller intestine.. it's finishing its journey, making its way to ur anus. Suck it back it in and lock it inside your brain. Disgusting? Try eating this:madba's eating something disgusting; a dispersion of his bodily remains...
People are weirdos in their own different ways so flaunt it. Successful people are all weirdos. If u settled to be an average joe, chances are: ur not going to make it. Success usually are driven by rebelious acts. So dig deeper and find that unique 'you' hiding somewhere between the bigger and smaller intestine.. it's finishing its journey, making its way to ur anus. Suck it back it in and lock it inside your brain. Disgusting? Try eating this:madba's eating something disgusting; a dispersion of his bodily remains...
Respecto patranom
im too malas for my butt, too malas for my arms, too malas...it hurts.. Our studio is so shitty nowadays. in one sem, we've changed the position of our tables 4 times already. ridiculousa. That iraqi lecturer, akeel... and that sad looking dr.. Well, they ARE our lecturers... respect! Don't tease or mock them behind their backs. Do it upfront. I'd heard stuff like bongok, fucker, bahlul and everything else that's not officially in a dictionary thrown to them behind their backs. respecto patranom... madba says respect them and u'll dig deeper in their mine of knowledge. *afq throwing his fist in the air*
MUSIC!
im too malas for my toot, too malas for my hair, too malas it hurts....
MUSIC!
im too malas for my toot, too malas for my hair, too malas it hurts....
madba,madba....
how i hate pretending... such a pity ppl ignore weirdos... i entered the studio with a vague impression. There's too many ppl in da studio who do not like me. The bully, coolly, the pretentious. Truth be told, true colours do not manipulate into other colours; if so, the balance of the colour scheme will disintergrate and ur favourite pale blue will turn blood red. What i am trying to say is.... being yourself is boring, but its the most comfortable state of conscience. If everybody believes this, segregation between close community will not happen. I'm being myself, the best way possible. Loud, honest and defensive. The way im truly am.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)