New Year Resolution?

New Year resolution was always an opportunity to start anew for me. When the end of the year nears, my mom would asked us all to list down things that we will improve about ourselves next year. As years passed, my resolution list got longer and more detailed. 2 years ago, I discovered that writing down new year's resolution is an ineffective way of self improvement.

You know how our parents think highly of us sometimes? We think highly of ourselves all the time no matter how insignificant our display of self-worth are. Consciously or not, humans are programmed to automate a system that rationalizes our past actions. This same nature points out weaknesses that aren't weaknesses to begin with so we can justify our flaws by simply not acknowledging them. No, we're not in denial because we didn't even consider the existence of the flaws in question.

Setting yearly resolution limits the freedom of human progression. We have to admit that different people progress faster or slower than others becase our general capacity of will and ambition is not parallel to our current state of mind. Even though we could manage other things close to perfection, our mental development is governed by a complex web of learning. Imagine teaching the very teacher responsible of mediating erratic influx of knowledge as well as comprehending and improvising the logic derived from newly learnt knowledge. How is it possible to set a timeframe for a phase of mental development when we have no absolute control over it? It's very possible but not when it is done in a set duration of time.

Two years ago I ignored this tradition and lived in the moment and not the future. I try to improve myself by befriending honest people who are capable of telling me off when they think I'm not going to the right direction. Their suggested directions will be considered by rooting out the core motivation of their thoughts so I could manage their logic to be implemented in my conscience. And I also keep a blog so I'm able to retrace my train of thoughts. It gives me a sense of urgency to allow new paradigms and construe cognitive measures.

Only when we think that our lifetime is never enough to reach perfection will we strive to reach it. This will, or what we commonly know as human spirit is the driven monster behind our seemingly vulnerable flesh and bones ensemble. Other animals are just as intelligent as us but they have not the imposition of expectations. This is our key to survival. It makes us human beings truly human.

After understanding the raw nature of our beings, of greed and ignorance, we have to then grasp the logic of the inexistence of perfection. We can never affect a full cycle. By knowing this we will have the urge to study the perfection of the universe. This is the real spirit of self improvement. Only when we look around will we be able to look at ourselves. And only by looking at ourselves will we be able to affect change. This is the food for our soul. It makes us human beings truly humane.

Aiseh, tulah cuti lama sangat, mulalah tulis benda merepek.