Karaoke di Kelab Darul Aman

A young woman with syrup red lips peeps from a corner of a room. A deranged looking man in tight blue jeans enters the same room, his thick wallet and orange comb bulging from his seasoned back pocket. Broery Marantika smiles as he approaches the shy virgin. The aspired model with uncleared blemishes runs into a door and smiles coyly behind the oiled mahogany. Clearly dissapointed, Broery exits the room and sings his serenade to a fake full moon. "Biarlah bulan bicara..."

I browsed the karaoke catalogue. Anita Sarawak, Ziana Zain, XPDC. Ah, KRU's Babe and Fanatik. These I can sing.
A balding Datuk picked up his microphone, tucked his left hand inside his pocket and slightly cocked his waist forward. "Testing, testing, 1 2 3."

A line of armed britain royal guards marches along a paved road. Aha, a marching band gracefully takes on the bare parade and fills it with shining bronze musical instruments. (I have no idea why a sharp video caption of a procession of a marching band is used to assist karaoke singing.) "Lady~~" Datuk Kenny Rogers let out a sexay growl. "For so many years I thought I'd never find you..."

Ooooh, they have english songs too? I walked to the counter and passed by a plump woman in tight khakis and a new millenium tudung that resembled a bandana with its ends twisted and folded to form a crown? As usual, I made a mental commentary on her. Let's see... She must be a class F contractor or a MLM success story. I know this because she wears a magnetized bracelet and Ong beaded necklace. She's struggling but loving the results of her business venture. She's wearing expensive high heels but complimented them with an almost see-through frilly blouse (Youza!) Oh mai gawd, the seemingly harmless heels knows salsa! Tap tap tap.
A temptress tiptoes down a marble staircase ""Hai hai hai hai hai ha hai hai~" A rocker turned jiwang karat makes his way through a large maharaja entrance "Lai la la la lai lai la lai lai~" Even though the odd couple danced in the same hall for quite some time, they were shocked too see each other all of a sudden. Macam cerita hindustan. They retreat gleefully to each other's prior company, the jiwang karat with his baju melayu wearing rempit friends and the temptress with her insignificant entourage. In unison, the couple looks up as if they were about to have epilepsy. A black and white flashback fades into sight. "Memori Daun Pisang~"
I was prepared for the worst. I remembered Bapak's advice vividly. "Pilih lagu yang Abang paling confident nyanyi, yang Abang dah terer. Wow them with your best song and take off immediately to leave an impression. That's how beginners leave their mark."
Right.
Three black sparrows (probably european sparrows) flies off to two seperate directions as a jet emerges from a startling crimson glare. The camera zooms in into the jet where a flight attendant in a cute blue outfit picks up the jet's announcement phone. "Baby can't you see, I'm calling~~~ A guy like you, should wear a warning. It's dangerous I'm fallin'~"
Immediately after Britney Spear's Toxic ended I did what Bapak told me to do, I took off without warning.
"Don't you know that you're toxic~"

9 comments:

Deedee said...

Have anyone told you that you're a superb storyteller? A lot of ppl are skillful at writing but yours, man! ur words rings like the my house chimes. It rings truth and the stories were delivered in such a cool way.

Like i wrote, you write like Dina Zaman now. I can't wait when you turn 40! Tlg lah jgn stop blogging... hehe

Atira. said...

i love your writing!

Qarl said...

yeah.. u stated my idol in ur post.. Diva Ziana Zain!

i hate karaoke-ing! juz bcoz i dont hv dat 'voice'!

huh!

njoy ur day!

alia said...

urm. karaoke kat vox ka?

zaFFa said...

no, dekat Kelab Darul Aman lah

alia said...

really? kelab darul aman got karaoke ka? tot it was for sport only.

Afiq Deen said...

Ada ada... Sultanah kedah slalu berkaraoke kat situ.

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