Yesterday my friend suspected his girlfriend was cheating on him. He asked me for help. I helped. I drove him 50km to his girlfriend's house so he could catch her in her collegue's car. Tapi jalan jammed so she got back home first. When we reached Bangi, he talked to her for an hour. I'd to wait lah in the car like a patung kuil.
My friend and his girlfriends were together for two years until a 29 year old colleague came along and flirted with her. Now she wants to Solat Istiqarah which means, she already has two options.
Dang, Girls!
You see, most of my close friends are jiwang karat. They get in love, commit to being celibate until the promised day and get dumped on the spot when their sweethearts bumped into someone with a imported Korean car and an apartment at Bukit Antarabangsa. What these bitches don't know is these close friends of mine are future leaders of their trade. Well, bitches ARE colour blind.
My friend's maruah was clearly tampered with so he asked me for my advice. I told him to be a man. "Be a man! Do the right thing!"
"Do what you think is right for you."
I've to admit, I'm the last person to give advice about relationships. I had 6 girlfriends and I dumped all of them. The moment my ex-girlfriend jual mahal to get my attention by going out with other guys, I will make it a point to meet her to personally tell her "I don't think we're right for each other, sorry." Being the kind person that I am, I included a bonus smile too.
I broke up with my last girlfriend of three years because she joined a MLM company. She calls it financial freedom. I call it Skim Cepat Kaya, Mimpi Besar Hidup Merana.
I know. I'm choosy, whatever. Yeah, Karma kurma daging.
But after a year of singledom, I am lookin' again if you catch my drift. I'm dusting the binoculars if you know what I mean.
But I'm telling you, 1. I date with the presence of another friend. 2. I'm not working yet so I only go dutch. 3. I won't even touch your skin until we get married.
If you can deal with these 3 simple rules then marilah berdating!
Did I scare you now? Wink Wink.


Zura said...


shamel said...

Often happens, teenage guys bring their gf for outing ended up they pay everything for the girl. wayang, makan, taxi..

budak sekolah tuu..I was like saying.."haiyaa, underwear pon supported by parents."
How dare he spent the pocket money meant for their meals and buku sekolah, to support anak dara org.

tak malu kan afiq kan? Ahah~

Qaisy Jaslenda said...

so you're saying he should dump her,


you're still single?

I can't conclude. hahaha

either way you're still the cool afiq deen after all.


dump once and be dumped once.

alia said...

i do all the dumping also cos my exes are all kaki kikis.


hey lets date!

maddieness said...

Hey your three rules are exactly the same as mine!

Except I'm happily taken bummer (my brother and my guy are so buddy buddy now they go off together and plot against me sometimes when we go out).

Ehem buttt my very hot and intelligent sister is still very single and very choosy, just like you. And I am aware that I will be so dead if she knows I'm publicly playing cupid, but I couldn't resist :)

Here's a preview, you could read the rest on my blog under 'i'm it' (if you want lah that is):

22. Describe your ideal husband/wife.
Really? 6 ft tall (or at least 5’10), lean well built, athletic, good looking (enough), has nice hair, smells good, witty, intelligent, plays basketball football runs, funny, plays a musical instrument (no, not the harmonica tho), doesn’t tell me he loves me everyday, recites the Quran beautifully, eloquent, beriman, good taste in music, mildly insensitive, good sense of direction, can drive a stick shift, not so talkative, doesn’t think bimbotic battered eyelashes are attractive, healthy, doesn’t flirt, doesn’t smoke, can swim, has a nice name, I could go on you know but I have to study.

Wait there's more.

Older than I am by 3 yrs max, responsible, has a nice voice (not a penyek one like mr. astronaut or david beckham), good personal hygiene, trustworthy, loyal, keeps to his word, can be a good father and husband, randomly thoughtful, creative.

(Insert under No. 22)

Hah. So who's scarier now :)?

Afiq Deen said...

I know right... Shamel's right! Going dutch is the new dating frontier. And we're actually doing girls we date a favour so they wont waste their money on things they dont need, like chic-lit novels.

Qaisy, I'm saying he should do what he think is right. I'm not suggesting him anything drastic. Let the girl do the choosing but if she's worth the trouble, gasak dia sampai she falls in love all over again. (give me a second, gotta puke)

And I'm very single too. Very.

Why donut... that's very.. Direct. Haha.

Hey now. I'm not considered choosy when looking for lifetime spouse. I think those are very basic rules. Well, I am a muslim. Might as well do the muslim way.

And on your ideal husband, I think I wont be the first person to point this out to you but... dream on! Ngahahaha.

If you love a person it doesn't really matter anymore that he doesn't know how to play any musical intrument or is 4'11".

But then again, I'm going to let this one slide. It's good to dream. ; )

missnadira said...

hmm..lame dah xmelompat disini..its annoying sometimes because you're too good with words...mane mane je lah dtg idea tu kan...if only i have your talent...*dreaming*

alia said...

direct because subtle is not my name.


Afiq Deen said...

Good with words? Me? Darling if those are even vaguely related, I won't be having any trouble meeting and dating girls.

Yea, because your name is Donut?

AyanaAsham said...

single is simple...

Anonymous said...

ouhkay ur 2nd rule agak tak ley bla. You ONLY go dutch??? Like even for your 1st date?? Biar betul. I`m surprise how u manage to have 6 ex gfs with that... when a guy pays for everything, it`s like showing his appreciation towards da girl for wanting to go out with him. Like menghargai perempuan tue. I`m not materialistic or nething,but I just think thay guys shud at least pay for the first date. He shud make an effort at least.

Puteri said...

Whoa, how could I have missed Afiq's 'single and looking' promo here?

Ahahaha :D

Go get him girls, he's one eligible bachelor!

And I'm not saying this just cos he's a good friend. I mean it.


Afiq Deen said...

C'mon now... I cannot spent money on girls who like me, earn a certain amount of pocket money weekly. It's so WRONG. Lagi best beli buku.

Tunggulah bila dah kerja.