Lat the Musical

I just got back from Lat the Musical! It was Boleh Tahan.

I particularly enjoyed the childhood skit. The kids, the kids are really good actors. Better than the adult actors actually! My eyes were on this one extra child actor. He looks like me, he talks like me but he isn't me. His mannerism was spot on and after a brief moment of absorbing the fact that there may be millions of kids who look and act like me, I felt embarrased for myself, and for the boy. I might have spooked him a little for staring at his face for too long. The boy must think that I'm a pedo.

And guess who I met after the show. Mrs. Hew with her tall hair!

Lat the musical was a good deal of fun but it is not something I would give a standing ovation. And yes, the boy. He thoroughly enjoyed performing and I could see that he loved every minute of the musical. That boy will go far. I think he needs a movie role. I want to write him in one of my screenplays.

Can I please become a boy again? Detective Conan could do it, why can't I?

It Has Been A While

It has been a while. I didn't have any internet connection for a month so that is why I am absent from the online world. Updates updates updates, I was recently in KOSMO which is quite cool.

I have been featured in The Star, NST, Berita Harian and Metro but this is my first time in KOSMO so I was pleasantly surpsrised when a dozen people sent me congratulation messages.

I am now working on two PSA for Astro Hitz as the director. It will be produced by D1 Production, a reputable production house. So as a newbie director, I am pretty much in the dark about the process of making a proper television PSA. Here are some sample storyboard to make this blog entry appear visually interesting.

I am really sorry for not posting any youtube videos but there was no internet and I don't go out of my way to do something that is intended for fun and laughs, unless I get paid for it of course!

Living alone is not as fun as I anticipated. Now I make all manner of excuses to visit my relatives in the weekends. If they are busy, I would go catch a movie alone or discuss about Anime at japanese manga/anime shops (I AM AN OTAKU!) In between those mundane activities, I would sit in the corner of a restaurant and stare at the teppanyaki dory fish for a full minute before harpooning it with a chopstick. Repeats process.

When I am at home I work. Work is fun. I have absolutely no complain about my work. This is probably the best work in the world and I am still considered as a freelancer. Imagine how it would be when I work permanently? More awesome fun I reckon.

Oh yes, there will be an afiqsays video this weekend! Weeeeeeee!

Two Babies On Its Way

Those are two rough ideas I conjured up for commercial videos I'm working on for Astro. Both of them were given a greenlight so I am super excited to get started. Next week I'll have a moodboard, script and full storyboard ready for the final preparation for what will be the most awesome PSA (Public Service Announcement) production so far in my entire life!

I am also scouting for new talents. I am not a very technical person. Lately I'm impressed with Shafiq's youtube videos' VFX especially this one. Story aside, the VFX is cool, no? I just hope today's aspiring filmmakers don't look up to these new and exciting media without classical knowledge of cinema. Even Tarantino, who broke the rules of storytelling can tell his Kubrick and Scorsese apart.

I am no bonafide filmmaker myself but I am a constantly learning one. One of the things I learn is that in film, there is a huge gap between internet meme and mainstream. There are always exceptions but those are practically kryptonite gems. Kids will go Whoa! but kids will grow up. When kids are all grown up, they will look at the films again and only go Oh... The trick is to get them to say Whoa! everytime they watch the film so in a way, that film has to be like an onion: sweet, layered and tear-jerking!

How about my film you ask? If you know me well, my soft spot has always been making ads and PSAs. My love for films has never diminished but it is not my full time job. Is it just me or somebody is unconsciously emulating Yasmin Ahmad? Although I am not a fan of her films, she is very dear to me. I remembered how I almost had an opportunity to work for her but God loved her more. So if I am inclining towards YasminAhmadism, so be it.

Focus, Afiq, Focus!

Ah yes, two babies on its way. I am super grateful that Astro Hitz is giving me the opportunity to realize my ideas. I like explosive ideas. They let me reign free so these PSAs I'm making will be so freaking explosive it will literally explode. Explosions! Explosive babies! Exploding explosive babies of explosion!

Afiq's New Crib

Haven't you heard? I have my own crib now! Ya-ah! (it's pronounced Yeah-Uh)

It has been a rather arduous process. I did all the arrangements a month ago but only decided to officially move in today. How very Afiq of you, Afiq! So yes, let's take a tour shall we?

When I first visited the flat, my initial thought was "Oh, this flat has a kitchen cabinet. But, where's the kitchen?" It didn't take long for me to conclude that this flat only has a 2 by 10 foot kitchen space. To be honest, the spatial arrangement is a complete mystery to me. Where does the living room begins and the kitchen ends? Wait, where should I eat?

I can't forget the first moment alone I had with my rented flat. After paying the flat's deposit, I sat in the middle of the flat. I just sat, and looked around, and looked up, looked down, Oh hi cockroach hi! Oh die cockroach die! I stepped on the cockroach, which is not cruel because cockroaches aren't cute.

I made it a priority to clean, paint and furnish the house every night (within the allowable budget) in two weeks before moving in. I notice that interior designers like to use keywords to describe a space like classy or contemporary or modern or some other shitz. I only had one keyword: Habitable. This flat has to be habitable. Fast forward 2 weeks and this is what I did with the flat:

I personally don't like living rooms and since this flat has a small living room, I converted it into a mini studio for me to do my brainstorming and storyboarding. Since I am living alone, I didn't need a big bedroom so I turned the bedroom into a TV room.

The TV room has no TV for the time being but it has a set of mismatched sofas. I found one of the sofas in front of my aunt's house. Apparently a neighbour threw it out so as soon as the coast was clear, I ciplak-ed it and kept it for myself.

Here is the kitchen and dining area. I think this are will be deserted. I am one of those people who likes to eat in front of the TV even though I was programmed (by my parent) not to.

And this is my bedroom. It is actually a designated store room but since I have the whole flat to myself, I decided to have the most useless space to cater to my most useless but necessary activity: sleeping.

Well that's it. That's all. That's that. As you can't probably tell, I am a tad excited to be living in my own place. Rent is cheap. Water and electricity is cheap and the place is.. well the place has a 24 hour mamak restaurant! And a 7-11 to boot. Okay I am compensating.

Did I mention that this place has a 24 hour mamak restaurant?

The Merajuk Kid

Hello readers! If you are a new reader, welcome! If you have followed my recently deleted blog Afiqsays, welcome back! I think an explaination is in order. I deleted Afiqsays because I merajuk-ed at a certain someone.

If you are a close acquaintance or a family member, you would know that my emotional bouts are legendary. Look at any old pictures of me and you will see me sulking like a little kid. One would think that I somehow outgrew my habit of merajuk-ing since I am nearing a quarter century old but flashback 2009: I locked myself in my grandmother's guestroom for three days because everyone had forgotten my birthday. I was 22. Luckily for me, my cousins and aunts are more than adept at curbing my wayward ways. The same cannot be said about my parents.

Since I can remember, both my parents were neither affectionate nor understanding. Their parenting style was crudely mechanical and there was a certain point in their lives where they stopped becoming parents and became individuals, with children. There was no point in locking myself in my room because the outcomes were always the same. They would break into my door and confront me head on.

"Hit me! Punch my face! I know you want to!" my mother woke up the neighbours when I slammed my bedroom door after a long and arduous verbal wrestling. My father scolded me with his belt. It is how things were so there were really no point in sulking but I did it anyway, repeatedly.

Today my sulking is invertly proportional to the girth of my waist. I rarely merajuk but there were still instances where I let my Merajuk Kid persona took over. Funnily enough, it is extremely easy to diffuse my merajuk bomb. What you need to do is to:

1. Tell me that you love me.

2. Prove to me that you love me with a small gift like a card (or something)

3. Insist that you love me when I desist.

But then again, the reason why my parents could not decipher me is not because they cannot but because they have 'principles'. They are principled people. Their pride is unmatched by the likes of me. The very thought of giving way to my sulking is for them the very definition of Losing, even if it means losing me along the way.

Yes, I have long deciphered them. They are individuals, with children.

How To Be A Datin

Hello hello hello! Since I published Teh Bersama Datin Sally dan Miss J, so many viewers requested for more Datin Sally videos. Since Datin Sally attracted a niche audience, here is a video that features the main woman herself.

I actually don't like making Datin Sally videos because 1. I have to dress up and put on very heavy boobs and 2. I don't want to kantoi. Mana tahu suddenly ada orang masuk bilik waktu afiq berlakon... But since there were many requests from Datin Sally's fans, I felt obligated to make her second youtube video. Are you happy now Datin?

For your information, this video does not reflect any particular Datin. I have a few Datins in my family and none of them are like the stereotype Datin Sally. So enjoy and share the video and tune in for next week's Afiqsays video. If you have any suggestions, you are welcomed to relay them to me via twitter or facebook.

Cheerios!

Best Taekwondo Fight Ever

This is just toooo cute!

I can't help but to think that the two boys will somehow become life-long rivals like Ken and Ryu. SHURIKEN!

Where Is dRbook?

I'm not sure whether Rozmey was duped by the parody news by Weekly World News but the entrepreneur told the media that he is launching his own social network website dRbook. Like everyone else, I have my suspicion because this guy sells placebo-effect health drinks and has no background in erm.. technology.

So after the launching was postponed several times over 'technical' issues, they announced that it will operational after CNY. So here it is guys, after months of waiting for our very own social networking site, I present to you.....

dRbook!

Hmmm?

MALAYSIAN YOUTUBERS: Afiqsays's Liker Chain

Liker Chain is a list of vloggers you personally like and would like to recommend to your friends. There are no Liker Chain in Malaysia so far so this is the first. After reading this, do your own Liker Chain on your blogs and promote YOUR favourite Youtubers.

Subscribe to MathLuthfi90

The first video I watched from his vlog is the infamous Selamat Hari Ibu video circulated in Facebook. Mathlufti, who is obviously a Kedahan, vlogs about everything under the sun and is known for his cute but sempoi attitude. I digg him because of his sense of humor, you know being an Orang Utara myself. This is his latest parody on typical film and drama scenes. Funny shit.

Subscribe to AdamLikesCereal

Adam is a Malaysian teenager living in the middle east with his family. And that's all I know about Adam other than the fact that he likes to make random vlogs about random subjects posted on random days. Even his youtube name is random. He has also collaborated with american vloggers like ckXcore and That'sJustZack. Here's a sample of Adam's random hilarity.

Subscribe to Aman Wan

Here's a vlogger I personally know. He is a budding comic artist/mangaka and an aspiring filmmaker. He was also my assistant director for my short film Maria. Oh the talent that this guy has is just plain scary. He is probably the most underrated vlogger there is because his vlogs are very well made and his sense of humor is that of a funny japanese comic book. Here's one of my favourite vlog from him.

Subscribe to Najwa595

Najwa is a petite indie singing sensation that sings covers in a car. Okaylah, Najwa is not a vlogger but a singer who posts recordings of her songs on youtube. On that note, I hope Najwa considers vlogging so she can differentiate herself from literally thousands of cover song singers. This is my personal favourite from Najwa Latif, the song Grenade originally by Bruno Mars.

Subscribe to IniAnwarHadi

Anwar Hadi is Malaysian's latest Youtube sensation and is most famous for his EwwwW video. This smiley chap also hails from Kedah and is currently studying in Australia. If you have seen some of his videos, you would know that his vlogs' main attraction is his take on current trends. And I'll be in denial if I don't tell you that his legions of female fans are attracted to his tongue rolling American accent and of course.... his Utara slang. His boy-next-door atau dalam BMnya.. bakal-menantu-mak appeal will most definitely carry his vlogger status to new heights so watch out Namewee!

Subscribe to NoSenseiProduction

NoSenseiProduction is headed by Sam Vun, a hyper college student I've met several times before. This Sabahan lad is also an aspiring filmmaker and is bent to infiltrate into Cannes Film Festival one day. He is most known for rapping a positive parody of Namewee infamous race-related rap song. After subscribing to him, flood his wall and tell him to make more rap videos!

So that's my Liker Chain. If you have the time, make your own via blog or vlog and share your favourite Malaysian youtubers.

Haram Ke Pegang Anjing?

Sorry for not uploading any videos for two weeks. Cuti-cuti siam.

This week vlog is about my past experience at Lipe Island, not the whole experience mind you but what happened when a fellow Malaysian Makcik saw me touching a husky. Keliling dia orang berbogel dia tak kisah pun tapi afiq pegang anjing nak kecoh-kecoh.

See the boxes behind me? I'll be moving soon to my own apartment so I'm packing up. You heard me right? My very own rented downtrodden apartment. It is a small, oddly located apartment but who am I to complain? I'll be living alone anyway so pedulik!

I have a new segment in my vlog where I review some of the youtube comments so look out for that, your crude hate-filled comment might wind up in that segment and people will be lining up to spam your walls with "Ko hengat ko bagos sangat ke hah?!?!"

I'll be vlogging about the hardship of moving next week so do subscribe to Afiqsays! Tu ha butang subscribe kat atas sekali tu...

The End of Afiqsays

It's the end. The end of Afiqsays and the beginning of Afiq Deen. I think I've inflicted too much damage with this blog and vlog and I think it's time for me to dissapear from the online world.

Goodbye.

AMATUER FEMALE MODEL WANTED

I need a female model for a quickie video shoot. Send your pictures and information to afiqdeen@hotmail.com

Back From Pulau Lipe

Pulau Lipe is a beautiful Siamese Island. Cantik gila babs. After spending 4 days and 3 nights there, I have learnt and experienced several note-worthy things, like:

1. Boobs loses its charm and desire after too much public exposure. After googling dozens of exposed boobies, I think I've lost interest in them. Kecik, besar, pendek, panjang, I think I've covered almost all types of boobs. Yang paling tak tahan orangputeh yang dah tua. Makcik, lipat jelah kopek makcik tu.

2. Do not sleep at the beach after a whole-day snorkelling trip. An orangputeh woke me up and told me "Excuse me but you're making noises." You guessed it. I snored!

3. Even after layers and layers of sunblock, my skin is thoroughly sunburnt. Lain kali Mohd Afiq Deen, janganlah kamu fikir yang kamu ni orangputeh boleh nak gelapkan kulit sampai serupa kulit udang. Ini tidak, snorkelling sampai jadi keling.

4. Sam Manao maksudnya Ice Lemon Tea. Nak pergi toilet? Ti nai ming hong nam.

5. Huskies are not meant to live in tropical islands. There was a husky owned by a diving instructor that frequents the beach to cool off. Kesian dia, sebab panas sangat.

6. Tak guna bawa buku atau novel ke pantai sebab terlalu banyak distraction seperti exposed boobs (sila rujuk no.1) Susah nak concentrate. Kalau bawa pun boleh bawa sebagai alat cover skodeng.

When I got back from Lipe, I noticed that I have 140 youtube subscribers. Pergi siam 80 balik siam 140 apecer? Now I feel that I HAVE to upload an afiqsays video pronto. My next afiqsays video will be uploaded on Friday/Saturday. Till then, boobies!

Poster Yang Jujur

Poster filem banyak mempengaruhi pilihan kita di panggung wayang. Seperti yang korang sedia maklum, ada filem yang posternya bodoh tapi filemnya menarik dan ada juga yang poster seperti meronta-ronta WOW tapi filem macam OMGAKUAGAKDAHFILEMMELAYUMEMANGBODOH.

Cuba bayangkan bertapa senangnya hidup jikalau poster-poster filem semuanya jujur? Tak perlulah kita berasa dendam yang membara setelah keluar panggung kerana terang-terang ditipu poster yang menjanjikan 2 jam yang menarik.

Contohnya...

Poster yang paling jujur ialah poster yang beri warning kepada penonton terlebih dahulu supaya tidak membuat pilihan yang salah seperti:

CIKGU MALA VS CHUA SOI LEK

Malaysian Man Abuse Dog

You can read the whole news here: Howl Over Dog-Beater Video

AYAM GETING OL'

I am getting old. I can feel it in my bones. Since I reached my prime age of 21, I can feel myself deteriorating slowly but surely. Now at 23, everything in me is slowing down. When I was younger, I didn't have to do anything specific to keep fit. I was just naturally fit. Now, I have to freaking exercise!

Exercise, as in cardio and weights. And every time I exercise, I am reminded of the certainty of death. That state of mind will then manifest into a semi-conscious mental experience of dying. You know; weakening of nerves, blurring of vision and kapooots: darkness. Scary.

In a nutshell every time I exercise, I am reminded of the grimness of vacuum in-existence. But when I don't exercise, I can literally feel death closing in on me faster. So it is no wonder that whenever I finish a routine, I will cast a sinister look. Like this:

That is my "Yes, I am dying!" look.

The thought of death is just so mind-boggling that I can't wrap my mind around it. My whole existence will cease to exist and I will feel no pain, bliss, hope, love, facebook, lust, nothing!

This concludes my thoughts after today's 2 hours exercise routine. Sekian.

Awek Melayu Gersang

I'm very sorry for not posting afiqsays videos for two weeks. To make up for my absence, I made a very suggestive and euphemism-filled video entitled Awek Melayu Gersang.

Why Awek Melayu Gersang? Trendbuzz. The most popular Malaysian youtube videos are mostly false promises of porn and what better way to surf along the current trend than to thread along that context.

The idea came about when I noticed how suggestive tudung clad malay girls can be when they are with their boyfriends. The way they eat, walk, sit and drink; sex is heavily suggested. In this day and age, Gen Y guys like has entered the 'omg I think I have to get married soon' phase so it is most unhelpful if our girlfriends (no matter how conservative they may appear) craves nothing else but sex.

Awek Melayu Gersang is a guide for guys my age to differentiate quality canaries from hungry crows. And yes, viewer's discretion advised. 18 and above only yo! If you're below 18, don't blame me if you suddenly have a BlackSwan-ish transformation into a horny crow. Your fault entirely!

This is my first very very very lucah video but I had a lot of fun making it. The worst part to make in the video is the ais potong scene. My cousin bought durian flavored ais potong and I had to pretend to like it. Worst ice-cream flavor ever invented in my opinion.

More videos to come every week so subscribe to Afiqsays now :)

Malaysian Today 25 Under 25

I got in Malaysian Today's 25 under 25!

Okay, I have to warn you, the picture of myself in the magazine is a bit cacat (all my fault because I chose the picture) but who cares when you are grouped with Amani, Lisa Surihani and Azizul Hasni right? Right?

Wrong!

I should've chosen a different picture!

TEO NIE CHING AND THE BLOODY JIHAD CHICKEN

Read the full news here.

MENGUTIP SYILING JUGA DIKIRA MENCURI

REMBAU 18 Jan. – Kebiasaannya orang ramai tidak berani menghampiri kemalangan jalan raya, lebih-lebih lagi jika ia berlaku di tengah lebuh raya.

Namun keadaan itu berbeza hari ini apabila pengguna lebuh raya sanggup bergadai nyawa untuk mengutip duit syiling 10 sen, 20 sen dan 50 sen yang bertaburan sepanjang 100 meter di atas Lebuh Raya Utara-Selatan dan kawasan rumput berhampiran di sini.

Semuanya disebabkan sebuah kenderaan pacuan empat roda (4WD) Toyota Hilux yang membawa sebuah peti besi besar berisi duit syiling dirempuh sebuah kereta BMW sebelum terbabas dan terbalik di Kilometer 234, susur keluar Pedas, dekat sini, petang ini.

Ketika ini, orang ramai masih berpusu-pusu mengutip lebihan duit syiling sehingga anggota polis terpaksa mengawal keadaan kerana bimbang kejadian lebih buruk akan berlaku di lokasi kejadian. – Utusan

Korang tak tahu ke yang duit tu orang yang punya maka ia HARAM untuk diambil begitu sahaja. Itu kira mencuri. Apa ke ngok mereka yang sanggup gadaikan nyawa semata-mata nak kutip 10,20 dan 50 sen! Dah lah mencuri, lepas tu kasi jam jalan.

Cuba kalau korang terlepas baby korang dari riba dan tiba-tiba makcik random ambil dan buat macam baby tu dia yang punya. Mencuri kan tu? Okay analogi yang agak extreme but the point is apa-apa pun, curi tetap curi. Baby atau duit syiling, semuanya dalam kategori mencuri juga lah genius.

Kalau nak curi sesuatu tanpa berdosa senang sahaja. Curilah hatiku ini. (saya masih single)

; )

1000 Facebook LIKES and I'll Colour My Hair

I am known for my long jet black blob of a hair and for 23 years, I am content with the way I look. That was until an online friend told me that he saw me at the streets and he thinks that I should try something new with my hair. I didn't want to do anything drastic but then again, life is boring without a little challenge.

So I decided to make an online challenge.

Simple, if Afiqsays Facebook Page gets 1000 Likes, I will colour my hair with the most voted hair colour. But I have reservations though, I will only colour my hair with one of these colours.

Red

Purple

Pink

Green

Brown

Blue

I promise I will not chicken out from this. And to prove my commitment to this challenge, I will formally take an online oath.

Here goes...

I, Mohd Afiq Deen Azizan will colour my hair with the most voted colour if Afiqsays Facebook Page gets 1000 LIKES.

So scoot on over to Afiqsays Facebook Page and LIKE it. Don't forget to vote for your favourite colour at the sidebar poll.

UMMI HAFILDA MAHU DEBAT DENGAN ANWAR

If you haven't heard it yet, Ummi Hafilda wants to debate with Anwar Ibrahim. Like most of you guys, I don't have the time and attention span to be bothered about our country's constant politicking. Against all odds, I read through the news and I'm here to deliver the gist of this month's heated discussion.