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I'm extremely chatty and emotionally unstable right now. I haven't sleep for 2 days and my eyes, god, my eyes are like red balls of fire nesting on a heap of charchoal.
It's weird, how our body works. Even though I haven't enough sleep this week, spent a few nights thinking and planning, eating whatever edible matters that exists around me without the effort of acquiring them and doing my work 4/5 of the time, my body can still have enough strength to carry on till the end of the day. Unable to estimate the capacity of physical exertion, my body simply hyped itself like a damn robot.
Arigato Mr Robato!
Many things happened this week. A good balance of extreme goods and bads. Broke up, received a memo from the Uni, only to find out it's from my mom, this and that, that and this. The usual uni madness that only I can experience. It's a rough tumbling I've to admit but it's ultimate purpose seems ludacris to me now. I know god, there is a lesson to be learned but please, keep those trials and tests coming. God is planning a fiasco for my stubborness, puzzle pieces of events mounting a coming disaster. I can feel it coming. I know it's coming.
This is how a lot of people misinterpret disasters. They think they are tests and trial to be braved through but really guys, God is neither testing your determination nor your will. He wants you to bend over, receive a beating and leave you alone for you to contemplate, to reflect.
You can either be a piece of pawn for the whole chess set's education or a queen, a free prideful son of a gun, learning his way through obstacles.
Elections are coming. Storms of green blue and 'eyes'. Jungle of mafia ropes and batang mop.
An atmosphere that can best describe me right now, before tomorrow, before I realize what I should be thankful for, before my wild conscience are tamed by the subtle sound of snooze, before everything piles up neatfully before my eyes, with caring eyes and round lips, before I lose my ability to write rubbish such as this one.
Before tomorrow I will sulk. I will shout, cry, mumble and sulk. An extreme entity of emotion, one after the other, just the way I like it. Just the way I intend it to be. Just the way god exhaust me with extremes, hoping for me to suddenly surrender my wishful thinking to a realm of moderation and acceptance.
Everything I do is a lesson for me and everyone who'd moulded me. I have to be a subject of other people's lesson before I can be responsible for my own and in due time, others'. So the hell with my philosophy and unusual sense of wisdom, god will somehow teach me and others the hard way. Because they aren't any other way. Or is there? I'm sure to be pressed with more calamities if I succeed the current one with unusual speed. It's how life mistakes catches up. It just does, however annoyingly ironic it can turn out to be sometimes.
I know. Because my deja vus proved to be reminders of eventual possibilities and I'd successfully evaded some of them, only to be frustrated on how twisted fate can be, resorting to alternatives with the same feel of coscience and situational coincidence. If only I can solve you. If only I can figure out alternatives of my own to counter yours.
But hey, you're the Man. You're god for your sake!