Of love. Of trust. We went through the lanes of both. We had learned how to differentiate Love and Lust. We had learned how to judge. How to make use of trust. How to react to mistrust but then again, all is a Lost in the stage we call Life. Life. I learn so much these few days. I am more receptive to the world. I am open. And Vulnerable. Very Vulnerable.
Vulnerable to the point that love and trust is so powerful it could easily overwhelm me when I face mistrust or seperations. Having a friend going to his room will affect me. Having someone to pose me a fake (comforting) smile annoys me. All is ever so hurtful and at the same time enlightening. It bothers some people that I savour jokes and laugh heartily to it, not stopping when people usually do. I'll shed a tear when a group work is over. A simple mistrust will affect my mood for 2 days or more.
Is it normal? Is it out of the world? I seriously don't know what's wrong with me.. I seriously don't. My pot of sarcasm is running out! My bowl of insecurities is running thin. Is it a bad thing. My voice is gatting calmer. There is a note of content in every adjective I use (which is by the way out of the odinary) My beautiful is usually BEAUTIIFUUL.. but now it's just beautiful. Yep, just beautiful.
Hmph. Sweet adolescence. Sweet, like any flavour of the mouth do not last forever. It will blend with saliva, making it warm and homely.
From an extrovert to an introvert. My feelings are kept deep inside. It hurts. It boils sometimes but it's inside, no longer outside my external organ. Never again anger is expressed through wrinkles and spasm.
What is happening to me? What kind of transition awaits me. I'm scared and yet you'll never know. No one will ever know.
4 comments:
hope u'll be fine..
Don't underestimate your heart. =)
Of love. Of trust...all is a Lost in the stage we call Life.
LOVE AND TRUST! if they are so strong, they won't and never lost in the stage we call LIFE. love and trust cannot happen alone, afiq. if u work on it alone, it merely wont work. u just wasting ur time, energy and feelings. that's why we choose our friends. we choose friend yg kita tak bertepuk sebelah tgn. friends who enjoy our company, who like us naturally. accepting people in life that can guarantee to bring us somewhere. like u and i, ur bringing me to somewhere, show me stuff. thats why..
Vulnerable to the point that love and trust is so powerful it could easily overwhelm me when I face mistrust or seperations. Having a friend going to his room will affect me....
strangely powerful..love that suppose to be the strength for you to keep on going. i mean, when u love, u let them go and free, you dont have to feel afraid of mistrust or separation. it's all in ur mind. i suggest you to confront that person ask,"why u do this?". dont keep such thing too long, u suffer sensorg, susah tau. better clear ur chest, tak baik simpan dalam hati.
Is it normal? Is it out of the world? I seriously don't know what's wrong with me..
it's all in ur mind..let it out, confront them! dont let urself suffer alone because of others.
My pot of sarcasm is running out! My bowl of insecurities is running thin. Is it a bad thing. My voice is gatting calmer. There is a note of content in every adjective I use (which is by the way out of the odinary) My beautiful is usually BEAUTIIFUUL.. but now it's just beautiful. Yep, just beautiful.
*ehem*..seriously, i dont know what does this mean..care to elaborate?
From an extrovert to an introvert. My feelings are kept deep inside. It hurts. It boils sometimes but it's inside, no longer outside my external organ. Never again anger is expressed through wrinkles and spasm.
as i mentioned, express anger with manner. the time when u used to express ur anger in a way that makes others hate you, then u taknak buat lagi.. no! there are always chances. don't restrict urself to grow. ur growing, u need options and choices. this is when "love urself first, then others will love you" comes into play. learn ur mistakes, and when another chance comes, make use of it. simply let it out with manners, easy kan?
What is happening to me? What kind of transition awaits me. I'm scared and yet you'll never know. No one will ever know.
transition to a better man. just take it easy, dont push urself too harsh and u'll see.
The part u don't understand kid is just an observation of myself. I'm no longer esily excited like I was which is weird. A kind of resistance or maybe a shield. Something to keep my digity protected.. i think...
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