Of love. Of trust. We went through the lanes of both. We had learned how to differentiate Love and Lust. We had learned how to judge. How to make use of trust. How to react to mistrust but then again, all is a Lost in the stage we call Life. Life. I learn so much these few days. I am more receptive to the world. I am open. And Vulnerable. Very Vulnerable.
Vulnerable to the point that love and trust is so powerful it could easily overwhelm me when I face mistrust or seperations. Having a friend going to his room will affect me. Having someone to pose me a fake (comforting) smile annoys me. All is ever so hurtful and at the same time enlightening. It bothers some people that I savour jokes and laugh heartily to it, not stopping when people usually do. I'll shed a tear when a group work is over. A simple mistrust will affect my mood for 2 days or more.
Is it normal? Is it out of the world? I seriously don't know what's wrong with me.. I seriously don't. My pot of sarcasm is running out! My bowl of insecurities is running thin. Is it a bad thing. My voice is gatting calmer. There is a note of content in every adjective I use (which is by the way out of the odinary) My beautiful is usually BEAUTIIFUUL.. but now it's just beautiful. Yep, just beautiful.
Hmph. Sweet adolescence. Sweet, like any flavour of the mouth do not last forever. It will blend with saliva, making it warm and homely.
From an extrovert to an introvert. My feelings are kept deep inside. It hurts. It boils sometimes but it's inside, no longer outside my external organ. Never again anger is expressed through wrinkles and spasm.
What is happening to me? What kind of transition awaits me. I'm scared and yet you'll never know. No one will ever know.