Me and My Car

Men has always been connected with their cars, emotionally and spiritually.

Take menopause for example. Women who had them will experience biological, emotional and physical changes that triggers a series of unpredictable moodswings. They will cook more, read more and see the world as a beautiful place they'd helped build. Men will hunt for new aviator shades, buy a french cap and leather gloves and go shopping for porche.

When I first saw my car a month ago, I froze. My lips exceeding its normal smile track and my eyes glimmered with tears of happiness. My first thought of it was "This is the best fucking thing that ever happened to me" but I could only mutter out "Nice colour" It's a 14 thousand Satria with a roaring engine and a sensitive power-steering. It's no porche but still, it looked porchy than ever. It is a thing of beauty. It is my car.

Every morning, I would start the engine and play the radio for 10 minutes for the engine to be readily heated for a 3km journey, which only take 2 minutes. A few days after washing the car with its shampoo (that cost more than my shampoo) and waxed it with its wax (that cost more than my hairwax) , I stumbled upon a truck that was parked at the exit of the parking lot. I told the tauke to gostan (go astern) but he told me that it is unnecessary. He could easily guide my car out through the gap (between the truck and parked car.) I did everything he told and when my car was sandwiched between the two vehicles, it stopped. It hit something. It couldn't get out. I pun gostan and tekan minyak kuat-kuat to minimize the damage.

I quickly went out from the car and examined the damage lah. What disaster. A catastrophe I tell you. A scratch on both side of the car, measuring about 3 cm. And a dent.

I called bapak.

"Bapak, I accidentally scratched the car. Tauke lori bodo tu kater boleh masuk, pastu Afiq masuk la, tetiba keta berhenti. Dah dah ada scratch dah kat dua belah kereta, ada dent lagi. Berape ek harga nak baiki?"

"Biasala tu Abang. Kan bapak dah cakap, 70 percent je Abang punyer, 30 percent lagi orang lain punya. Cube Abang pusing-pusing tengok kereta lain, tengok kalau ada flaws atau dent. Cuba try." He ended the phonecall with a hearty laugh.

I tried. And I felt much better after the damage stroll. Most cars has even more severe damage than mine. Except for Dr.Asiah's Mercedes which till today, remains untouchable, a car equivalent to the Perempuan Melayu Terakhir. I went to a garage, the tauke opened the seat cushion and punched the exterior from within. The paintjob cracked and he told me that the previous owner had an accident in which he wrecked that part of the car and cemented it. For punching my car and cracking it, he charged me RM20.

I pujuk the car by buying it some sporty looking stickers. And a Malaysia Flag.

Aaaaaah, Men and their Car.