Escaping the Talib.... the Tabligh

Last night a group of Tablighs visited my room. I could instantly detect their presence with their distinctive knock-knock-knock-pause-knock-knock.

Tabligh Alert!

I'd thought of a few scare tactics when they first visited my room a year ago. One of them being inciting Sadaqallahulazeeem loudly (as if I'd just finished reading the Quran). wear a kopiah, wrap my neck with a serban and greet them with a assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, anbabar' with extra emphasis on the 'ain. But then they would respond by "Apa kata kita bilik sebelah, bertabligh" with extra emphasis on the gha'.

I opened the door feverishly, in my shorts and tees. As soon as I grabbed the doorknob, I quickly withdrew from it and rushed to the cupboard to change my tees. The one I wore has an American flag. Yikes.

"Assalamualaikum, saudara." The Tabligh is probably Sabahan, wearing a vest over a jubah. The other has a worn off jubah and a Steve Urkel pants.


They went in, squinted at the sight of the litter box and proceed to my room. They sat down. My cat hopped around their lap and bit Steve Urkel's toe, playfully. He frowned and hit my Syasya's head gently, with a kind of supressed hate looming in the corner of his eyes

I knew it was a little too late but I proceed with PLAN B:

I secretly called one of my friends and when the credit-notifier SMS rang, I picked it up and act as if a lecturer of mine called. "Yes sir, right sir. Oh my, really. I'll be right there."

"Minta maaf saudara, pensyarah UNGS saya nak saya ke office dia, dia ada masalah dengan PC dia. Emergency. Minta maaf ye brother."

Their face contorted. Steve Urkel frowned suspiciously. I took my bag and head out from the room with them and ran from their sight and headed to the nearest McDonald's drive-thru and bought myself a 6-piece nugget. McDonald's has the best nuggets, jewish-owned or not.


ikanrerama said...

pardon me...why do they enter ur room in d 1st place again?
~sincerely confused~*

lubnaaa said...

I disagree.

Come to AIKOL Cafe (yes, I know it's on the other side of the universe but trust me on this) at any time before noon. Ask any law student which stall is famous for its nuggets. They'll point you in one direction.

Voila! 3 fat nuggets for RM1. It's cheap, delicious and best of all - does not fund 'Zionism' (as opposed to Jewish-owned).

Come la. I guarantee you'll come back. ;)

mirul said...

next time they come, hit them in the balls.

i wonder what is their sins that makes you hate them so much. tsk tsk tsk.

afiq said...

I don't hate them. They are just.. you know... religios. It sends an instant -alamak- signal.

They are tablighs Ikanrema, tablighs go to ppl's houses or rooms voluntarily to preach about Islam.

AIKOL nuggets eh... must..try...nex...week

ikanrerama said...


i mean i can actually hear the invisible "duh"s from u guys. :P

juz don't have dat kinda experience here.the tablighs are UIA's student too izit?

afiq said...

tablighs used to be everywhere like the -we-want-to-recycle-your-papers-so-we-can-fund-our-church- christian missionaries we see everyweek. But their numbers are decreasing because they are not so fond of properly dressing up, preferring to wear worn off jubah and nectar sweet perfume.

I say revamp the Tablighs and make them wear collared tees and ask people for recyclable items to fund the mosque. So kebelakang, remember what the patah kaki guy in the petronas ad said?