The Crush II

You know the crush I had a few years back? (Read my last last year entry la)

I think I may have a crush on him again. I hate it too, it's not right but the more I resist feeling anything, the more I envelop myself with unrealistic ideas.

I am just too porcelain to feel anything right now. There are so many things that remains quizzical to me, so many complicated emotions. Betrayal, ignorance, indifference, anger, revenge, etc. Those emotions are distinctive but when they fused, now that's a different story altogether.

Either way, I cannot but help but to feel helpless for those who are entraped by their own delusion of their preferred Life Story. I am antipathic to those who are enraged by their own doings. I am sceptical to those who proudly proclaim themselves sceptics. I am becoming more confused with my emotional reactions to others. When I turn to God, He'll do the usual and ask me to seek the answer myself. Yes, God do not give answers. He provides them. We have to look for them ourselves. Get that straight, you so called 'Fundamentalists'!

Haikal Haikal, why are you doing this to me? More importantly, why am I doing this to myself? I just can't help feeling the way I do. But yet again, physical actions is triumphant over sinful mental imaging. Ngahahah.

Patient, you have to be. Answers, you have to look. Sleep, you have to go.

Thank you Yoda.

Welcome, you are.