Poster Yang Jujur

Poster filem banyak mempengaruhi pilihan kita di panggung wayang. Seperti yang korang sedia maklum, ada filem yang posternya bodoh tapi filemnya menarik dan ada juga yang poster seperti meronta-ronta WOW tapi filem macam OMGAKUAGAKDAHFILEMMELAYUMEMANGBODOH.

Cuba bayangkan bertapa senangnya hidup jikalau poster-poster filem semuanya jujur? Tak perlulah kita berasa dendam yang membara setelah keluar panggung kerana terang-terang ditipu poster yang menjanjikan 2 jam yang menarik.

Contohnya...

Poster yang paling jujur ialah poster yang beri warning kepada penonton terlebih dahulu supaya tidak membuat pilihan yang salah seperti:

CIKGU MALA VS CHUA SOI LEK

Malaysian Man Abuse Dog

You can read the whole news here: Howl Over Dog-Beater Video

AYAM GETING OL'

I am getting old. I can feel it in my bones. Since I reached my prime age of 21, I can feel myself deteriorating slowly but surely. Now at 23, everything in me is slowing down. When I was younger, I didn't have to do anything specific to keep fit. I was just naturally fit. Now, I have to freaking exercise!

Exercise, as in cardio and weights. And every time I exercise, I am reminded of the certainty of death. That state of mind will then manifest into a semi-conscious mental experience of dying. You know; weakening of nerves, blurring of vision and kapooots: darkness. Scary.

In a nutshell every time I exercise, I am reminded of the grimness of vacuum in-existence. But when I don't exercise, I can literally feel death closing in on me faster. So it is no wonder that whenever I finish a routine, I will cast a sinister look. Like this:

That is my "Yes, I am dying!" look.

The thought of death is just so mind-boggling that I can't wrap my mind around it. My whole existence will cease to exist and I will feel no pain, bliss, hope, love, facebook, lust, nothing!

This concludes my thoughts after today's 2 hours exercise routine. Sekian.

Awek Melayu Gersang

I'm very sorry for not posting afiqsays videos for two weeks. To make up for my absence, I made a very suggestive and euphemism-filled video entitled Awek Melayu Gersang.

Why Awek Melayu Gersang? Trendbuzz. The most popular Malaysian youtube videos are mostly false promises of porn and what better way to surf along the current trend than to thread along that context.

The idea came about when I noticed how suggestive tudung clad malay girls can be when they are with their boyfriends. The way they eat, walk, sit and drink; sex is heavily suggested. In this day and age, Gen Y guys like has entered the 'omg I think I have to get married soon' phase so it is most unhelpful if our girlfriends (no matter how conservative they may appear) craves nothing else but sex.

Awek Melayu Gersang is a guide for guys my age to differentiate quality canaries from hungry crows. And yes, viewer's discretion advised. 18 and above only yo! If you're below 18, don't blame me if you suddenly have a BlackSwan-ish transformation into a horny crow. Your fault entirely!

This is my first very very very lucah video but I had a lot of fun making it. The worst part to make in the video is the ais potong scene. My cousin bought durian flavored ais potong and I had to pretend to like it. Worst ice-cream flavor ever invented in my opinion.

More videos to come every week so subscribe to Afiqsays now :)

Malaysian Today 25 Under 25

I got in Malaysian Today's 25 under 25!

Okay, I have to warn you, the picture of myself in the magazine is a bit cacat (all my fault because I chose the picture) but who cares when you are grouped with Amani, Lisa Surihani and Azizul Hasni right? Right?

Wrong!

I should've chosen a different picture!

TEO NIE CHING AND THE BLOODY JIHAD CHICKEN

Read the full news here.