Iraq is winning

I'll make things real simple.

Despite US efforts to stabilize Iraq by using ridiculously prejudice method such as handpicking a Prime Minister from the minority Syiah as oppose of garnering the support of the majority Sunni, they are clearly losing. The main purpose of the War which was getting multi-national corporations to collect the arabian land's resources is constantly halted by disruptions.

They (US) might think that the disruptions are random and are caused by confused and emotional Iraqis but the fact is those distruptions are caused by a single party. The party deliberately sparked movements in different directions with each direction focused on different motives to confuse the coalition force, making them unable to get to the root of things. The objective: to exhaust and drain US's resources. US is now becoming financially implosive and democrats are doing anything they can to keep US's economy aloft.

Loyalty is just a word. World Bank or the UN will no longer side with the US if the coalition purposes are dismembered, subsequently causing the the US's financial colapse. That is why Bush is insisting to let Wolfowitz keep his job because he is loyal to the Bush's administration and will keep on substaining damages caused by the 'War on Teror'. With the election soon, if a new US president is selected and he does not side with needs of the all powerful multi-national corporations, another JFK incident will occur. If it occurs anyway OR the new president surrendered his soul to the rich and powerful, they will still lose the war and will not gain profit from it.

It's another Vietnam. Bush's rowdy cowboy method of resource piracy is attention grabbing by nature and clearly, it is a very kantoi way of covering a globe-scale crime.

In short: Iraq is winning. Assalamualaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakatuh...... Sekian..

*Afiq continues doing his chores*

M & M & M

Bare with me as I write about religion (again). I'm sorry guys, when you have the television constantly flagging their brand of Islam, I do tend to stray. You knowlah, Waheeda and Bienda who prefers to cover their aurah but see nothing wrong in singing publicly. Ustazs who are more concerned on girls covering their aurah than them learning about the religion. The likes of Sister in Islam. Trivial stuff, you know?

I've been watching videos of americans, australians and british who had embraced Islam and it struck me as odd when they are embracing Islam in a wholesome manner. In a manner I have yet to experience. Being Malaysian, Malay and Muslim, it pretty hard to be definitive of the ideal Me. The ideal Rakyat. Can I just be a Malaysian Muslim. Can somebody erase Melayu in my passport and IC?

Melayu is a tribe. It's a race. And Islam trascends that, don't you think?

Imagine a simple conversation. The conversation will start with Assalamualaikum; okay, I'm a muslim. It will drift from there on to ideal gossips; okay, I' a malay and the whole context is purely Malaysian. But what if, what if I'm just a Malaysian Muslim. What if? There will be no negative malay notion implication in my presence or even embedded psychological repetition. Melayu mudah lupa. I'm not a Melayu. I'm a Muslim. And muslims learn from their mistakes. Melayu malas. I'm not a Melayu. I'm a Muslim. Islam forbids laziness. Melayu suka gossip. I'm not Melayu. I'm a Muslim. Islam forbids gossiping.

Entahla UMNO, I don't favour your Islam Hadhari or whatever you want to call it. It's so far fetched and it will make my personal obligation more lengthy and complicated. Assalamualaikum, I'm Afiq. I'm a Malay Muslim (Islam Hadhari)Malaysian.

Afiq Generalizes

Peace, stability and tolerance through ignorance and division?

Classic. You MRSM students do not know how to associate yourself outside your comfort zone because you were taught by malay teachers who happened to be in your situation during their highschool years. You can't speak english at all (you must be really good at writing in english though) and you can't barely handle the fact that grades do not necessarily get you hired or promoted. And now that most technical fields are occupied you remain jobless for months and then you'll decide to further your studies and become a teacher (or a lecturer)

Classic. You SRJK (chinese) will either inherit your parent's boring businesses or indulge yourself in the word of technology. Oh yes, meek or geek. Nerd or Curd. You speak really bad english yet you valiantly consider it as your upper hand in your self-noted caste. You only talk to Malays at Low Yay in which you try to squirm your way to big money by taking advantage of stupid MRSM students who had just got their hands on MARA loan.

Classic. You SRJK (indian) speaks pretty good english (sometimes ebonic) but your understanding of the language is still purely fictitious. You're faking it, honestly. You can talk like a blonde bitch or a misunderstood stressed out black mama all you want, but the recently graduated chinese and released MARA students think you're acting stupid. And they're stupid. Ting Tong, oh dear, can get that for me Molly or Knock Knock, sapna chola kor Mollykutty dey! makes no difference at all.

Classic. You Private and International students think you're so cool with your pampered lifestyle and american-wannabe accents that you made it a point that you are. Well, you are in the eyes of chinese students, MRSM students and Indian students because they happened to like watching MTV and what is cooler than seeing a sad unworthy replication. Clap clap, you're cool bebeh.Yeah, mini skirts are liberating. Bling blings are humbling. And you know what? just so you know, you're SO cool that the rest of the adolescent populace is ignoring you.

Classic isn't it. Well offsprings of shallow-minded parents, comrades, my fellow friends. Rejoice-lah. Speak standard english taught by Cikgu Muthu, Puan Marina and Miss Chong. If we can all speak good english, the chance of all of us getting along will be higher.

Don't blame MCA and MIC for being so stubborn in abolishing Jenis schools. Don't blame the UMNO to be so damn protective of their tribal issues. Don't blame PAS for being a better model of unity of race in their state. Don't blame anyone. Blame Tom and Jane for being english. Blame their mother for getting them a dog.

Ismael Ax?

From the massacre of Virginia Tech, the suspect who commited suicide, Cho Seung-Hui used a nickname to send several items out on post. He however did not used the nickname Ismail Ax as reported by the U.S. media but

Ishmael Ax.

U.S. attempt of making this incident related to the much hyped Islamaphobia is futile.

Keyword:

Cho Seung-Hui Islam terrorist terrorism Ismael Ax

Mastur-WHAT

Everyone knows, muslim or non muslim, that pre-marital sex is forbidden. The consequences of doing so may vary; celebrities get more publicity coverage, kampung couples will get shun by the kampung people, city couples will probably boast about it in front of their friends but not to their families la, god forbids!

As a muslim adolescent stepping into the adult world, I am well aware of Islam's jurisdiction on pre-marital sex and so far, I've obeyed it.

"So how can I cope with my inner sexual tension?"

I've asked this qustion to my highschool Ustaz and to my utter annoyance, he ignored it. Since then, those very words spread and I was being known as the Sexual Tension Kid for a while. Blergh! Lesson learnt: no more question related to e-hem. Recently, I mustered enough courage to ask my roommate (whom to my advantage is a pretty religious guy),

"Well, the right thing to do is to sembahyang sunat."

"You're saying when I start fantasizing about boobs and etc I have to perform a sembahyang sunat. If that's the case, if you've told me earlier, I would already become a saint!"

He frowned. "You will get wet dreams jugak... why so frustrated?" He realized something: Afiq hardly sleeps. "Ha ah kan? Macam mana yek? So how do you deal with this... errr... problem?"

"I masturbate."

"YOU WHAT?"

"I didn't stutter, did I?"

His eyes widened. I'm not sure which part shocked him. The confession or the content of the confession.

"What, you're saying you don't?"

Silence.

Good heavens, this guy CAN'T lie.

"Ahah, a hypocrit!" I joked.

But that's not really the point (of him being a hypocrit). The point is this issue is such a taboo that no one is daring enough to explain about the nature of it. Well someone did: my sex ed teacher,but he's christian. Generally, it is rumoured to be Haram but it was decided in accordance to some Mazhabs' views and opinions. Does masturbation affects the well being of people? Scientifically, NO. And I can well remember that there is no such jurisdiction in the Quran or Sunnah about the issue.

Islam is a religion of revelation and reason. To simply put it: if it's not in the Quran or Sunnah, use common sense.

So I dare to conclude that masturbation is an act of relief and should be done only when necessary. Overdoing anything can affect our well being. Islam IS all about moderation. I hate to break it to you but this issue was only clarified to me by a christian missionary. Where were you, ustaz and ulama when we were in great need of your advice?

Kedah 2010 is just a slogan.

False Hope.

Holidays Checklist:

1. Increase body metabolism

2. Read 3 fictional novels

3. Read 3 self-improvement books

4. Get rid of my daily flu by consuming a pill of 1000mg vitamin C every friekin day!

5. Go backpacking alone in Bali (cheap you know....)

6. Learn management skills first hand

7. Watch Al-Jazeera at least 2 hours a day

I'm keeping a visual journal to keep track of my holiday progress. I will also update this blog with the things I do during the holidays.

Pic & Caption

For the first time ever, I will be transferred into a new room. So this is a tribute lah. Babilah to the Babi Son of a gun yang bawak pistol tempoh hari.


One of the most beautiful flower I've ever seen. The whole assemble is such a ass-kicker. Such simple display of beauty.
I cook when I travel around, I am the ambassador of my own culinary experience *coughs poyo...poyo...*

This creation is called: Badak Air Berendam Ramai-Ramai dekat Sungai

I DO get the jitters of forcing sways of a potentially dangerous tool. A gorish brutal adrenaline rush. The kind you get when slicing carrots. (only applicable to men)

It's amazing how my roommates enjoys delicacies like Belacan and Durian but were unable to even touch Escargo. Apa la lu.... So I had to gobble down all of them, to my pleasure of course.

This here is the CAT PROTECTER. He had saved 52 cats from the streets and cared for them in his house and every night, he will be around KL showing tricks and let curious foreigners to pet or take pictures of his beloved feline children.

There's a catch though, he will demand a payment of 5 ringgit to those who are interested in taking pictures with his cats.

Line Clear. Despite hearing and reading LINECLEAR everywhere these days, probably because Aswad, one of the contestant of AF made it his trademark phrase. LINECLEAR is actually a Kedai Mamak. They (the workers) will bid their goodbyes by shouting LineClear!!!!

No words can come close to describe my meal of the month!

My phone is kadang2 rosak kadang2 OK for your info so don't bother calling me until I get the problem sorted out. This entry concludes my whole week around Semenanjung Malaysia before I get back to Sabah.

Baby

Let's call this part of my life: MISERABLE.

Today I'd said babi more than 100 times because

1.Internet connection is superduper slow, ass dragging,blood tracing slow

2.I'm reminded on how I learnt nothing in History3(asia)

3.My laptop monitor is acting up

5.Because I just love saying it for it is a very dirty word, muahaha

There's something soothing about cursing using Babi. I think because of its obvious similarity to the word baby. I've yet to see a real babi so I can't really imagine how gross it is. Like when someone say Fuck and he/she's a virgin, I just don't see the point.

It's okay to curse. Eventhough it is practically forbiden to curse in a household, you'll be surprised to know that your parents curse all the time, during traffic, marital problems, etc. So why are they scolding you when you utter a few badwords when you don't really mean it. Meaning is the problem anyway.

Babi.

What's Black with White Substance?

Scene: in a Meeting Room
Subject: Product Labelling

Chairman: A new product was released yesterday and it had become apparent that due to the throat-slitting branding industry, the company had made it clear to me that we have to become more creative in naming this product.

Secretary: There are approximately 186, 751 biscuit companies that have biscuits that are almost similar to ours.

Creative Director: Hmmmm.... I can sense the need to be out of the box, so to speak. Since most biscuit companies opted the sensation or the emotional depth in biscuits, we should not be aligned in the same tune.

*everybody mumbles "he's speaking gibberish again"*

Creative Director: I think that our biscuit's name should be descriptive, to be made a part of a successful mouth-to-mouth promotion.

Chief Promoter: I like your idea, but we should be thinking directly into the problem and meet eye to eye with the community to capture the expectation delightful names. Let's call our product, Delightful Names.

Infringement Officer: I don't think that's possible. Let's cut it short. According to my statistic, Peace-related names have never been used. Let's use the name STOP WAR.

Chief Promoter: I like your idea, but STOP WAR is too insensitive knowing that many countries are in a middle of war. Stopping war will cut off the profit of multi-national coperations and that right there will decrease our sales among multi-national coperations' families and friends

Creative Director: Aha, Let's call it Wheels 0r Wheelers. It seems to be that the biscuit is somewhat similar to the physical apperance of Wheels.

Infringement Officer: No no no, wheelers are suggestive and may hurt the feelings of gay customers.

Chief Promoter: I like your idea, but I can sum up the most common pleasant name that can also describe our product. STARRY STARRY NIGHT, a night that is filled with stars and it IS pysically related to our product. It is the most famous painting by Van Gough and we can even use Don McLean's song to advertize it.

Infringement Officer: Absalutely NOT! First of all, Van Gough had never sold a painting in his lifetime and that alone would imply out status as a biscuit supplier. And secondly in Don McLean's song, Vincent died remember? No Vincents will ever buy our biscuits!

Chairman: *switched off his MP3* Let's get straight to the point people! What's black and has white subtance?

*Creative Director floats in a Yoga position and scribes began to materialize and revolve around the meeting rooms. Green and purple lights strays the beckoning afternoon sun and smoke litters the carpeted floor*

Creative Director: *In thick Indian accent* What's black and has white substance.........

NEGRO!!!!!

*A lightning struck an innocent pedestrian*

Chairman: Marvelous, as expected from a Genius like you! *Meeting room is now loud with cheers*

Chief Promoter's eyes gleamed in bittersweet melancholy and a flash backs of his marriage'a honeymoon came to him in a storm.

Infringement Officer was confirmed dead. Cause of death: Product Branding Nirvana.

Secretary excused herself to the toilet to relinquish her torrid orgasmic sensation for the biscuit's new name.