calling out, calling out



This week I spent one fifth of my time crying, which resulted impending assignments. Whenever I start tracing plans and sections and focus about nothing but the sharp metal technical pen, pearl of tears began showering on the tracing paper, like missiles bombarding onto a cream coloured dessert.

I couldn't do anything but diving into others lives to escape mine. For a while. I watched tonnes of complicated japanese animes to reflect upon the simplicity of my problems. But how could something so simple take away so much of myself? How can Life Give so much and Take so much away? I hate facing my studiomates now, with my nose constantly running and my eyes heavy of crying. I hate seeing them happily chatting about their plans for holidays. I hate it so much that I begun hating myself.

Men don't cry. They do actually, but never in front of people who would say such a phrase. I would wake up sober but pathetic every morning, confront the deceitful Sun and shut it away from my room by dropping the venetian blind, like killing a noisy chicken with a single slash with a sharp parang.

Thank God there are strangers from all walk of Life that proclaim themselves as Friends. Thank you God for granting all these beautiful Friends to me..


Hafidz Baharom said...

I felt the same way when I had to do my thesis in my final semester, along with an additional subject which meant that I had 27 credit hours that semester.

It was a burden I couldn't handle myself.

Instead, I decided to talk to the one person I talk to the most, which is my mom.

In your case, hopefully your friends will be the ones to help lessen your burden.

And guys do cry, no matter what they say in public.

Anonymous said...

U seems or sounded like a miserable guy,very miserable.Your mom or dad must be miserable people,leading miserable life and u are the end to ur mom,like Aput,and everyhhing will be fine,trust me..All mothers are made in heaven,u will will find peace when u confide in them..

afiq said...

so you're telling me that ur happy 24/7 with a puppet grin painted on ur face?

Be reasonable. Everyone gets miserable once in a while. Even you. Even prophets and saints. Even Steven McEvans..

Hafidz Baharom said...

I'm saying that when you feel down, you should talk to someone about what's going on in your life.

The saints and prophets had their apostles, angels and God himself, we have each other, meaning family and friends.

You may still be miserable, but at least it will help others and yourselves understand why you are miserable and try to help you deal with the misery.