I'm back from Beijingjingjing. 10 days in Beijing felt like a month in a freezer which is in cat years a decade in a dog pound. It was cold beyond words and yet, there was no moisture, which means... no friggin snow! Why???

Tak ada salji tapi sejuk nak mampus. Dulu waktu afiq lawat Eropah pun sejuk juga tapi Beijing punya sejuk lain sikit, sejuk yang kalau dimanifestasi dalam bentuk manusia akan dikurung di dalam fasiliti di Tanjung Rambutan. Ya, sejuk gila!

Beijing is a weird city. No, China is a weird country. No Facebook, no Youtube, no Twitter, no Google, no Complaning, no Protesting, no Saying Bad Things About the Government, no English. Apparently, there are very very very very few people who can speak english so I had to learn some hardcore Mandarin to get around.

And there is this distinct scent, like a smell of a unwashed Kambing everywhere in the city. And the public toilets! The toilets have no doors! You can literally talk side by side with a friend while taking a dump.

Lumrah lah bagi satu rakyat lain untuk memandang pelik negara lain kan?

Bimbos here are edible! I think it's a clear message to all chinese bimbos: If you're stupid, you will get eaten!
Tinggi dan besar pokok-pokok di Beijing semuanya dikawal jadi semuanya kelihatan uniform dan sama. Di China, kelainan adalah satu perkara yang tak diingini. Afiq terbaca satu artikel dalam surat khabar China yang menulis tentang ibu bapa dan guru-guru yang kecewa dengan kanak-kanak autistik kerana tidak 'pulih' untuk menjadi kanak-kanak biasa selepas rawatan psikologi.
Oh the chinese - english translations here are hilarious. Here's another funny translation:

It reads "The grass is smiling at you. Please detour."

Afiq makan di restoran muslim di Niujie dan beberapa juadah di dalam menu-nya agak aneh. Ovari dan digestive gland? Mmmmm....
I hope it still tastes like fish!
The toys are very urm.. patriotic.
And yes, no matter how secular China is, the Chinese are still very superstitious. Even when the fountain at Forbidden City was frozen solid, there were still flocks of people throwing Yuans for good luck. Oh, can I still talk about the horrible translations?
Hahahaha! FAIL!

It was a very thorough trip as I did everything there is to do in my 10 days in Beijing. It was fun, but not for the Chinese though. The rich are extremely rich and the poor are still very poor. Socialist government my 臀部 !!!


LoLLy~ said...

hahaha..ptot tade vlog, melancong rupenye!

ZWAN SABRI said...

No Facebook?, no Youtube?, no Twitter?, no Google?, no Complaning?, no Protesting?, no Saying Bad Things About the Government?, no English?..
Boleh jadi gila klaw dudok sana lama2.. huhu..

Ap said...

this seems interesting

Nur said...

wah...rindu nak g sane lagik....

malaysianatheist said...

on the contrary,u wont go crazy if u live there..well,its actually pathetic enough to imply that without youtube/google/facebook/twitter/blogspot? pls get a life...or go out more..lol

seriously beijing&shanghai (china's 2 main cities) has one of the best night life experience ever.and its basically crime-free. else why would there be thousands of americans+europeans expats migrating to these cities each year? n they go as far as learning/mastering the mindfucking language!

shanghai alone has more westerners than KL or singapore can ever have in a gazillion years.

una berry said...

the most successful communist country in the world. currently in the running to become the world's no 1 economy. how cool is that despite that they don't even all that internet thingy?

patutla lama xupdate. g holiday rupanya. welcome back Afiq!

Zikri Husaini said...

weyh melancong tak ajak aku... hehe.. salam kenal dari aku zik...