Puasa Oh Puasa

Iklan Yusof Taiyoob, tagged homemade biscuit pictures in FB, girls rushing to puasa ganti. Yes, it's that time of the year. Puasa is coming up so what better way to commemorate this special occasion than to recall some of the best and memorable puasa experiences I had growing up.

Ehem...

Oh it started sejak azali lagi. The first time I remembered was when I first started fasting. I was seven and it was a hot hot day. It was so hot and I couldn't drink so I took a shower instead. And that's how I disqualify a whole month of puasa, by drinking while showering. Three years later, I would consciously cheat by eating lunch at my school canteen. Nobody would notice because 98% of school population was chinese and the 2% malays were alway playing hide and seek behind the school compound.

Ponteng?

I woke a little bit late than usual. I was 10. It was already 7.10 a.m. Alamak, the bus will arrive in 20 minutes. I took a hasty shower, grabbed 2 slices of bread and a slice of cheddar and took off to the bus's picking point. School was okay, homework aplenty and lunch was like the rest of the year: hot, stale and most probably cancerous.

The bus took me back home earlier than usual, pelik. I was usually one of the last boy to be dropped off but recently, I am always one of the earliest. With an hour to spare I went to my favourite warong and had a hearty serving of modified maggie ayam. When I got home, umi asked me to follow her to the pasar malam to buy tonight's dinner. We bought roti jala, cendol, karipap and a few more assorted kuehs. I bought a plastic of sugarcane cubes for myself.

We arrived home and Bapak, Hadi and Saiful is all set for dinner. As I serve the dishes on the table, everyone waited like gargoyle statues and looked at the food with menacing eyes, pelik. A few minutes later, we heard the azan and my father read out loud a long prayer, pelik. Then everyone ate dates, oh my god. Hari ni PUASA!!!!

Mandi Hujan

I'm not sure how it happened but the memory is stuck in mind for so long. Maybe it was one of the happiest moments in my life. It was raining heavily and it was nearing Maghrib. The whole family was outside the house, drenched in rainwater.

Umi blasted high pressured water with a hose that almost took my pants off. In a whoosh, Bapak lifted me up and carried me around the lawn as I stretched my arms and legs and shouted "Thunder, thunder, thunder, Thundercats, Whoaaaaaa!"

Umi twisted the hose nozzle and blasted mist and soon there were small rainbows right in front of me: double rainbow moment. Hadi clapped stupidly and Saiful was mesmerized by the layer of colourful car oil on the cement pavement. And then it azan-ed and my parents realized that they forgot to buy anything for dinner so Bapak rushed to the kitchen with wet clothes still on and prepared his infamous maggie goreng. Best. Buka. Puasa. Ever.

Puasa Oh Puasa...

Do you remember your best puasa moments?

Actors Needed / Pelakon Diperlukan

Hi guys, I need two actors to play accidental lovers for a music video for Sakti's first single.

Description:

Lelaki Sempoi

Malay

Considerably good looking

17-24 years old

Gadis Cun

Chinese

Considerably good looking also

17-24 years old also

The music video is for an up and coming band Sakti for their first Single. Get in contact with me ASAP through my email afiqdeen@hotmail.com or by phone 0162899681 or even my facebook.

Oh yeah, actors will get paid.

Doa Seorang Gadis (Berumur 17 Tahun)

I found this blog entry at a random blog I visited just now. I want to share it because:

1. It's (kinda) sweet.

2. It's how kids write nowadays. Update your lingo people!

3. The structure and phrasing of the do'a is, unique.

npe???

Ya ALLAH...aq terlalu syg n cntakan dye...bagaimana aq nk criw kbhgiaan utk dye pabila saat berdmping n bersama ngn ku?? bila kah msa e2 akn tba?? bla Ya ALLAH?? aq terlalu syg dye...aq perlukan dye utk menemani hdup aq...bersama aq hingga akhir hyat...aq sedey n bahkan mungkin akn jdi gla kalu dye bersama ngn gurl len..gurl yg bakal jdi isteri dye yg bakal jdi ibu utk ank3 dye...aq akn jelez Ya ALLAH...aq akan gle...aq taw aq xley terima keadaan..maka aq mohon pada MU YA ALLAH..kuatkanlah keimanan aq...kuatkanlah semnagt aq utk mnempuhi dugaan percntaan pada masa skunk dan masa hadapan...aq xnk gla sbb cinta yg terlalu mndalam...aq xnk jdi gla sbb cinta yg sia2..aq xmau jdi gla sbb cinta yg memakn dri n aq xnk jdi gla sbb cnta yg sekejap dan bertepuk sbelah tgn...he asked me 2 removed him..but wat bout me asked him 2 removed dat Ha***m?? he does not seem so cared bout it..but its oky..i dun care as long he really loved me YA ALLAH...i knew he is my destiny..pliz YA ALLAH..i need him 4 da rez of my life...his da one for me...i want him 2 be my husband n a dad 2 my children YA ALAH...pliz make my wish come true..pliz YA ALLAH.......AMIN...

What can we learn from this piece of prayer?

1. This 17 year old girl wants to have her BF's babies!

2. She's on the verge of becoming gaga over her BF.

3. Cinta tiga segi

4. This couple only know each other through Facebook.

5. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Is this how teenagers date nowadays? Through Facebook? Do they actually see each other? And the babies, will she throw them away upon conceiving them? Will the baby hatchet be of use? Will they use condoms when they actually have sex? Will they have sex?

Ah, the secret lives of malay teenagers....

Settle

I read this just now and well, I can relate to this girl's problem. Let's go the good part shall we?

Did his friend come?

Not a fan, then? (Sepet poster depicting interracial couple; source: Wiki Commons)

Yes, it took about 20 minutes for his friend to come to the station. While waiting for his friend, the officers started harassing my ex-boyfriend. They said things like, “Are you serious about going out with her?”, “Getting married soon?”, “You’re not scared of getting circumcised?”, and “Don’t you want to convert to Islam?”

Then my ex-boyfriend had to go to the bathroom and they started harassing me instead. They said, “Oh, your boyfriend is lucky to have a girlfriend with big breasts.” And then they said, “There’s no more shame in this world when Malay [Malaysian] girls can stoop to dating Chinese [Malaysian] men.” And then they asked me, “Is Chinese penis really that good?”

How did you respond to this?

I glared at the religious enforcer and said, “Yes, it’s delicious and I love it!”

And what did he say to that?

He was shocked into silence.

Then my ex-boyfriend returned from the bathroom and everyone was quiet for a while. He signalled at me not to make a scene. Then his friend arrived with the money, and he paid them off. They didn’t give us a receipt or anything, and told us we were free to go. As we were leaving, the religious enforcer said, “Don’t forget to invite us to your wedding.” I said, “Don’t forget to bring a RM500 ang pow.”

------------------------------------------------

I don't care much about the inter-religion complication. I just think this case shows how futile our system is.

This in not uncommon in Malaysia. Even some religious authorities are willing to drop charges for petty cash. If you're malay, they'll give you a hard time and you have to use your influence to wring your way out but if you're chinese, you better get your cash ready. What about the 'connection-less' malays and poor chinese?

If I were caught showing PDA to my girlfriend, I will willingly go to court and face the consequences, given that I was treated well and not verbally or physically abused by the officers involved. But then again, being Malaysians, my family would do the very best they can to 'discuss' with the officers. Just in case you don't know this yet, 'discuss' is a informal interaction to impose superiority or influence over the other party.

Anak Tan Sri = Maaf kami silap.

Anak Dato' = Biasalah budak-budak.

Anak cina = $$$

Anak orang kaya = $$$

Anak orang biasa = $$ + balai + court + syariah = very bleak future job opportunity.

Things will change, I am sure of it. Even when the pegawai Poslaju told me "Tak boleh hantarlah dik kalau macam tu!" when he found out that they ran out of plastic covers for international delivery, I know that things will change. Because I will not stand complacency. I took out a plastic cover from the rubbish bin, put my parcel in it and told him to replace the plastic cover when the new batch of plastic covers comes in. I also told him "Lain kali jangan cakap macam tu dekat orang lain, buat malu Pos Malaysia je."

Force fate. Don't just whine. Be the change you want to see.

Afiq and His Lost Ways

I've lost it. Really, I have. No, I'm not gaga just yet. I've just lost my way.

One Of Us

My new short is entitled The Cartoonist. It's a short about a teenager who realizes he has the power to change the fate of an constantly abused girl. But to do so, he has to give up as a human being. What will he do?

Oh conflict! Hahahaha!

I Just Don't Fit In

I don't or I just don't want to. So it is inevitable that people ignore my presence or even my very existence. If my father don't call me everyday, I would feel like the only person in the planet. And the weirdest thing of all, I like it! I like being a lonesome loser with 0 social life. My only thrill in life is its many transitions. From good to better, from KL to Alor Setar.

I just live.

I live.

I'm such a non-functioning social creature.

Another Film In The Making

Watch out peeps! I'm making another shortie!

Unfortunately that's all I have for you now. I haven't even written a screenplay yet. I just know that I want to make a funky-cool-experimental short film. Here are some ideas I'm considering now:

Mak Lang

Mak Lang is a sassy sole survivor in a zombie plagued state. One day she finds a desperate call for help a few miles away. Tengtedeng...

Ahmar

Ahmar is ultra religious woman with a master plan: to torture and kill her former rapist. But the problem is, he is a respected Ustaz within the community. Tengtedeng...

Lari Lara Lari

A girl runs away from home after being fed up with her troubled family. But what she doesn't know is her father ran away from home the same night too. "We need to talk." Tengtedeng...

White Kopiah

A tahfiz student plans his escape from his sekolah pondok and embarks in a brief adventure in the wilderness. And he meets a friend along the way, a pig he calls Kopiah. Tengtedeng...

I'm still thinking of a good story to make. If you have any, don't hesitate to tell me. I'll credit you as a co-writer if I choose your story.

Wish Me Luck

I am applying for a film course in Japan. I need a lot of luck.

Best,

Afiq Deen

Projek Merdeka Adik

Finally! It's finished!

PSA Title: Projek Merdeka Adik

Target audience: Children to young teenagers

Theme: Aku dan Merdeka

Budget: RM3000

I know what you're thinking, not enough flag time! The lack of flag shots is actually intentional so people can erect their own flags and enjoy them themselves. Weird approach but I'm winging it!

Writer: Afiq Deen

Director: Afiq Deen

Producers: Azri Ibnu Mohamad & Kabir Kasri

Cinematographer: Syahiran Sukardi

Technical Assistants: Muhammad Siddiqi & Muttaqee Misran

Designers: Eliayes Hamzah & Shafiq Abu Bakar

I'm Not Ready

I hope the person who is responsible for making me able to relate to this video understands that I need more time. To forgive. And hopefully to forget.

I'll make a film to tell you exactly how I feel.

When Good is Never Good Enough

Fact: Just because you know what is considered good or bad, that doesn't mean you are able to produce something good and steer away from making anything bad. Just because you love to watch an acclaimed film that has a distinction of being a creme de la creme, it does not mean that you are able to match any aspect of that particular film.

This is a lesson I learnt early on, when people around me (maybe because they think their opinions will shape my understanding of film) dissed films that they personally think are rubbish. When engulfed in a heated discussion of 'bad films' I will just nod. Nod. Nod. Nod.

When asked about my favourite 'bad film', my answer is always the same: Mine. I've always hated my shorties, not all of them of course but most of them. And then I will tell them that I am not trying to fish for compliments by dissing my own stuff but it's just how I feel. Nothing I do is ever good enough to win my vote.

I realise that I've only started making shorties (shorties = short for short films) and my experience as an amatuer filmmaker is 3 months shy of its 3rd birthday. I also know that I have a long way to go until I can showcase my stuff internationally. Imma slow learner yo. I am not a genius. I do not possess the ability to visualise an end product before its production. I don't have a film midas touch. I learn the trade the hard way, mostly by trial and error. So in a sense, everything I made in the past were all mistakes, mistakes to be corrected for future projects.

Projek Merdeka Adik is due tomorrow! The end product of PMA (short for Projek Merdeka Adik) is not at all satisfactory for its many flaws but it's my first project that involves 58 people. I had so much fun shooting PMA but had a horrid time editing the whole thing. Ergh, only God knows the banshees of emotions that possessed me during the editing process. Tomorrow, tomorrow!

Worried

Garh!

I have to admit, I have a bit of Michael Jackson in me. They say (who are they?) it is because I didn't have a normal childhood. I like to play with kids, goof out like one and react to things in a child-like manner which comes off to onlookers as easily excitable, or cheerful. Some people can misinterpret this attitude as being confused, unorganised or even specifically lacking of the adequate amount of maturity.

What they don't know is that I'm worried all the time. All the time.

Like now, I'm worried that Projek Merdeka Adik won't turn out as wonderful as I expected it to be. This project have been haunting me for months and this generates a string of worries that constantly metamorphises into a state of euphoria. Get it? Whenever I get worried about something I'm passionate about, I will consequently be in a state of bliss. I sleep well worried.

Afiq Deen is Going Places

Am I? Do you know the magazine Going Places we browse when we get bored during flights. I used to cilok these magazines all the time so I can keep a copy of a world map (that I think will come in handy)

My cousin went to Hanoi a few days ago and caught a glimpse of me while browsing Going Places. She then took several pictures of the pages and upload them on facebook.

I'm so going to get a copy for myself! If anyone out there has a copy, can you send it to me please please please. Get in contact with me so I can give you my address etc.