MAIM or Majlis Agama Islam Melaka banned 33 words from being spoken or written by non-muslims. If non-muslims are caught using these word, they will get fined no more than RM4000 and jailed for less than 2 years.
Yeah, I know. Paranoiddddd. But to make life much easier for our non muslims friends and family in Melaka, I will provide subtitute words for the 33 words so they won't get in trouble when referring to any of the banned words.
1. Firman Allah - Feel mana lah (asking where to feel)
2. Ulama - Oooo... Llama (admiring a llama)
3. Hadis - Ha! This! (pointing at something excitedly)
4. Ibadah - I Bad ah... (confession)
5. Kaabah - Akak Abah (sister father)
6. Kadi - Car thee (your car in Shakespearean)
7. Ilahi - Eel ah he? (asking a person about another person's womanising ways)
8. Wahyu - Wah! Yu..! (Wow, a shark!)
9. Mubaligh - Mu baligh? (inquiring a person's puberty)
10. Syariat - Sherry at? (where is Sherry)
11. Kiblat - Keep lard (store fat)
12. Haji - Huh? Geee... (mild shock)
13. Mufti - Move tea (to place a cup of tea from one place to another)
14. Rasul - Rest owl (what owls do all day)
15. Iman - iMan (Apple's first robot)
16.Dakwah - Duck war (Have you been to Tasik Titiwangsa lately?)
17. Solat - Sold at? (asking where is something being sold)
18. Khalifah - Car lift ah? (carpooling invitation)
19. Wali - Wall-E (a famous fictional robot)
20. Fatwa - Fart war (a disgusting frat/college/uni game)
21. Imam - Eeeee... mom! (a small girl accidentally stepped on dog shit)
22. Nabi - Nappy (pampers)
23. Sheikh - Shake (shiver)
24. Akhirat - Archi-rat (an architect who nibbles on leftover food: me)
25. Azan - A sun (without it, we'll die)
26. Al-Quran - Aku ran ( I ran)
27. Al-Sunnah - Asuna (Asuna Kagurazaka, a main character in the anime Negima)
28. Hauliak - How liow (manyak how liow oh, ho ho ho!)
29. Karamah - Car amah (car for maid)
30. Shahadah - Shah! Dah! (a line in a malay drama)
31. Masjid - Must jade (a jade of absolute certainty)
32. Baitullah - Bite two lah! (persuading a person to eat one more article of food)
33. Allah - Owl ah? (is that an owl?)
If a MAIM officer overhead you saying out loud these banned words (touch wood), tell them the substitute words you were really saying.
You're welcome.
46 comments:
lol... nice one!
this s not funny at all.its like ur makin fun of those words.
*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
wey babi ko lame idop dh ke smpi nk kutuk nama2 islam.ko prnh ke terajang x?meh sini ak bg skali.ak jumpe muke ko sumph ak sepak without warning!mmg cari psl.
you know, people won't like this. especially the sensitive ones. i know you have your own way of thinking and you're just being yourself. that's bright, but it doesn't mean that i agree neither disagree about this matter, i don't think it's the best time to play with such words. especially not now. anyhoo, it's just my two cents. no hate, people.
they are missing the point but I don't blame them. They are too blinded by sentiments to take a joke.
if you're a muslim in a christian state and the christians banned words like Jesus, christ, cross and mary, how would you feel. Kena tutup kot restaurant Marybrown.
molly, i'm not making fun of these names. You see, there are many non-muslims who need to say and write these 33 words. Researchers, students or even those who are interested in Islam.
Even SPM students has to learn Islamic history. How will they do so without getting fined or jailed? So I'm giving them a solution, that's all.
These words are still meaningful to us muslims but for them, these are just words. It can mean anything.
I've always had the impression that if they learn the beauty of this religion, they will get drawn to Islam and convert. But now, they can't even say out the word Iman. How lah like this?
i agree with u afiq.. i like your thinking.. =)
It's sad that satirical materials are poorly understood in Malaysia. It's like how stand up comedy will never work in a Malaysian crowd.
Anywhoo, i'm going to agree with khairie with this one. I can see the humor, in fact i laughed so hard that ice lemon tea spilled from my nose (you owe me one teh o ais limau). but you are no stranger to the sensidiva attitudes of our "brothers and sisters" and their um, conservative ways. you could repost this at another time, you know, when it stops raining Molotov Cocktails in Malaysia.
actually, I don't get why so many muslims are angry about this post.
1. It's true, how am I going to study sejarah if those words are banned.
2. If an officer catch me using those words, I will actually use your substitute words(seriously)
3. I think its just silly how muslims cant take a joke. they make fun of christians allllll the time, saying its not a true religion, that its diverted from the truth. We have been patient for sooooo long. Now a little issue like this and everyone is mengamuk.
4. I like your way of thinking too afiq. I wont say it's liberal. It's just very 1Malaysia you know. You are very understanding of our pain.
5. DOn't be afraid of expressing your views. I know you're used to this already.
owh ok.i finally get u.im sorry that u received a lot of hate comments here.mayb these people dont get u like i just did.
yes yes,the words are still meaningful to us muslim,thats all that really matters right.
n maybe rite now s not the right time for this kinda joke =/
well, cmna kwn2 non-muslim kita nk kenal islam kalo depa xleh nk gna those ayat kn. yup all those ayat mmg got meaning for us tp xslh kalo depa gna pn. apedah, malu nk bedepan ngan kwn2 non-muslim plak. selagi depa x make stupid with it, ok. tp you buat substitute utk suma ayat tuh, not good.
Those are substitutes, not translations so non muslims CAN learn about Islam.
Tapi afiq akui, kebanyakan orang melayu di malaysia masih belum faham jenaka satirikal, walaupun tak menyentuh lansung ajaran Islam.
Shit dalam bahasa Inggeris bermaksud Tahi tapi di negara beragama Islam Syiah, sebutan yang sama tapi ejaan Shite itu adalah panggilan sect agama mereka.
Adakah orang Iran dan Lubnan marahkan orang yang berbahasa inggeris kerana menggunakan perkataan Shit?
Ramai yang marahkan afiq sebab membandingkan ayat suci Islam dengan substitut tetapi hakikatnya, memang tiada perbandingan dibuat. Cuma manusia yang penuh dengan perasaan amarah akan lompat ke kesimpulan 'perbandingan' ini.
Untuk sesiapa yang membaca dengan hati yang terbuka, afiq cuma mahu menolong orang bukan Islam untuk menggunakan ayat2 ini tanpa berasa bersalah atau takut ditangkap oleh MAIS atau pihak polis.
Kalau ada yang tidak rasa cara ini sesuai, beritahulah cara lain, mungkin boleh diaplikasikan segera.
Tapi hakikatnya ramai yang tidak mengikut ajaran agama yang ingin dipertahankan dan memaki hamun atas nama Islam.
Perangai sebeginilah yang akan menyebabkan orang Islam menjadi liberal atau terus Atheist, apabila mereka melihat sendiri hipokrisi umat Islam.
Nasib baik afiq tak begitu dan masih mahu berdiskusi dan berdebat. Tapi bagaimana mahu berbincang kalau didepani dengan kata-kata kesat dan berbaur ancaman?
afiq, u must bear in mind so many many things...
1)perkara2 yg naturally related ngan ISLAM x boleh di buat bhn jenaka... xkiralah direct or indirect. but, klu ada anyone yg suka sgt tuh, mgkin sdh hilang sensitiviti pd agama sendiri...
2)sebtolnya, public yg x berkelulusan dlm bidang agama atau diiktiraf ketinggian ilmu agamanya x patut sm skali membincangkan perkara2 yg amat sensitif sebegini secara umum. perbincangan wajib dijlnkan dulu dgn mrk2 yg pakar... setakat merujuk kat seorg dua ustaz x mencukupi...
3)u suka ker if org2 yg u syg dunia dan akhirat ada substitute names? mrh x?
4)how about ur sensitivity bl org selain ISLAM boleh menggunakan perkataan ALLAH sewenang2nya? d word ALLAH isn't just about a name. x kiralah dh berlaku since years ago or isu ini baru diwar2kan. bukakan mata hati utk melihat... jgn terus melulu.
5)org selain ISLAM mmg suka isu ini diluluskan utk memudahkan future "hidden" agendas mrk dilaksanakan. kesannya nnti maha dahsyat jika x dibendung.
6)jgn terlalu liberal sebaliknya cuba kembali kpd Al-Quran. amat mudah. cuba ulangi dan fahami meaning KALIMAH SYAHADAH.
7)rsnya dalaman kita perlu segera dirawat sblm tewas dikecam pelbagai reaksi positif dan negatif dr public.
remember, ISLAM IS ISLAM, but not all MALAYS ARE ISLAM. ISLAM x mengajar its followers to behave exactly like a terrorist. mslh ini WAJIB diperdebatkan antara CENDIAKAWAN ISLAM dgn pihak mahkamah dan org2 tertinggi Kristian. yg pasti, kebenaran akan menang. renung2kanlah sbb perkara2 sebegini melibatkan perihal keIMANan seseorg MUSLIM......
refer sini kot2lah ada golongan yg x reti berbahasa 1Malaysia...
here
sini
Afiq setuju bab sensitiviti orang terhadap perkara yang berkaitan dengan agama Islam. Kadang-kadang cara kita dibesarkan dan sifat yang diterapkan lain sekali jadi ada masanya afiq tak prihatin terhadap sentimen orang melayu.
Sentimen. Untuk afiq, orang berasa marah disebabkan sentimen agama dan bukan kerana agama itu sendiri.
Islam kan untuk semua, cendikiawan dan orang islam biasa seperti kita patut mempunyai peluang untuk berbincang tentang Islam dengan cara terbuka. Sebab dengan keterbukaan perbincangan, ramai yang akan dapat ilmu dan sudut perspektif yang bermanfaat.
Sudah menjadi kebiasaan untuk orang melayu untuk menyerahkan perbincangan berkenaan Islam pada ulama dan cendikiawan Islam tetapi cara ini tak berkesan untuk mendidik seluruh umat Islam. Marginalisasi ilmu pengetahuan yang berlaku di Malaysia, jika diteruskan akan menyebabkan wujudnya hirarki (seperti yang dipraktiskan suku Taliban)
Afiq rasa sangat marah bila ada orang yang menyuruh afiq untuk berbalik ke pangkal jalan, bertaubat dan sebagainya. Kononnya ada satu jalan sahaja untuk orang Islam. Kalau tak ikut jalan itu, salah.
Afiq seperti orang Islam lain. Afiq mendirikan kewajipan orang islam, menimba ilmu dll. Memang tak ada hak untuk kamu untuk membuat penilaian moral terhadap diri afiq. Sifat beginilah yang memualkan ramai orang Islam yang sudah bersedia untuk berbincang tentang Islam tetapi ditegah.
Daripada mengajak orang Islam untuk lebih mendekati Islam, saudara telah melakukan sebaliknya. Tiada kebaikan yang akan dicetus begitu.Orang selalunya panggil sifat ini Holier than thou.
Hahahaha!!!
nice!
berdosa besar ko neh..
hey man!who the hell u think u are.u are a muslim but y are u helping them.ur making sins man.they banned those words from being spoken or written by the non muslim with reasons.good reasons!what would u say or do if the non muslim make fun of those words like u do now??with ur action by posting this garbage,u hve make them underestimate the muslims!havent u thought of that.non muslim will not use those words for good uses or reasons other than make fun of it.i mean why would they want to use it if they are not a muslim?it is not needed!dont u get it.
Afiq, I'm on your side here. I can't believe they'd ban words like 'Masjid', and 'kiblat', et al.
Why do we Muslims have to be so defensive and sensitive? How are non-muslims supposed to learn about our religion if they're not even allowed to say those words? And words are just words, in the end. Their meanings are arbitrary. These people who came up with this silly idea need to really get an education.
And all those people finding your blog post offensive can't grasp your point. Guys, Afiq is NOT making fun of these words, he's giving witty homophones.
The anonymous poster above me thinks that non-muslims will only use these words to make fun of Islam? Wow, that's some racism(?) right there. Not all non-Muslims are out to get Muslims, you know. Believe me, my closest friends are Christians, and they respect my religion a lot, as I do theirs.
Thanks for this blog post, Afiq. At least you've shown them that there ARE some rational Muslims out there...
ko mmg nk kne panah ngan petir..kan..kan..???
Kau control petir ke?
nih apa kess???
i cant believe i didnt know about this!
and i do not, and will never, understand the point of banning these words, enough said.
*really shocked*
Genial post and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you on your information.
Haihz..I know ur good intention is to help people..tp why cant u substitute the words in a nicer way? For Example Nabi- NAPPY? a pampers? its like u think our nabi is like pampers? come on la..if u want to help..help in a way that it does not make people angry? and put some nicer substitute. Lets say its like this..Afiq..hmm i am banned to say the word Afiq.. so im gonna SUBSTITUTE IT! i change it to A pig!! wow..Afiq..a pig? do u like ur name being substitute as a pig? its like ur a pig my man? so thats why people are offended by this article..maybe a nicer substitute wouldnt offend this people..im a bit dissappointed as theres always a different way to help Islam..and if u r 1 then u wouldnt be making fun of it and giving a substitute that is not nice to hear..ok A PIG? Do u like that? no right? I hope u understand...And FYI..what u r doing u are not mendiri kewajipan as an ISLAM..if u dont have the right and enough knowledge of Islam! dont try acting like ur always right and senang je ko nak diri kan kewajipan sbgai org Islam! mengucap dua kalimah syahadah, SEMBAHYANG LIMA WAKTU, PUASA,Bayar ZAKAT, Haji bila mampu...CUKUP TAK KO BUAT TU JE?
A pig? I don't mind really as long it is a homonym for afiq.
: )
when will u ppl learn that u will never get to me with intimidations?
Opulently I to but I about the post should acquire more info then it has.
Ha?
Assalam'alaikum.
aq setuju dgn niat ko, dan tak faham knp kerajaan melaka ban perkataan2 tu bg non-Muslims..
but i disagree with your ways of dealing with the situation, because these "substitutes" you call, may later become provocative ammunition used by some people for some agendas.
a guy with a vision, but tread with caution.
just a piece of thought, no harm done. Salam.
it's ok..dah mmg aturan dlm kitab mcm tu menjelang akhir zaman
bila x open..dikatakan orthodox
bila open sgt..jd sekular
tp pemikiran mcm inilah yg dijustifikasikan sbg perumpamaan dlm kitab.."sesat lg menyesatkan"..
apabila iman dan taqwa dlm hati digantikan dgn sifat semua perkara adalah mengikut rasional shj..barulah kononnya Muslim moden
isu ni dah xde kena mengena sama ada anda melayu atau tidak..tp adakah anda seorg MUSLIM atau tidak
anda boleh menulis seberapa byk isu yg ade biarpun mengenai agama utk membuktikan kononnya kematangan fikiran dan kebebasan bersuara dlm mana2 blog..tp biarlah menulis mengikut hati (mgkin sedikit iman jika ada lg kepercayaan), bkn hanya pd pemikiran logik semata2..mudahan InshaAllah..
Assalamualaikum adik Afiq bin kan..?? bkn s/o atau ape2 lg kan?? mane la tau kot2 selalu permulaan kes2 berpaling kepercayaan mcm ni bermula dr pemikiran yg sebegini..
moga dijauhkan
memang rmai yg mengaku Islam..tp rmai yg tiada iman
dan mereka inilah yg kononnya melambangkan Islam moden..revolusi baru pemikiran bertopengkan logikal shj..
sedangkan Rukun Islam yg pertama pun suruh kita mengucap dua kalimah syahadah..percaya dulu br buat amali/praktikal dia..bkn pikir logik dulu sedangkan mata kasar kita kalau ikut logik akan meyakinkan kita x nmpak zat Allah dpan mata
inikan pula kepercayaan digantikan dgn peralihan nama lain (dgn gantian nama yg konon2nya kelakar dan open sgt la)..mashaAllah
ditambah pulak dgn pemikiran Muslim moden baru kononnya dlm blog yg membenarkan lg kaedahnya..mashaAllah
jgn slah faham dik..ada sesuatu perkara yg kita sbg hamba Dia mmg x smpai tahap utk memikirkannya.tp at least bak kate lawak kwn abg yg kononnya Muslim moden.. "biarlah kat pdg Mashar nanti paling tidak setelah diadili dan diseksa hingga smpai jd sebutir pasir..tp kerana kita umat Nabi Muhammad diberi peluang jua mencium syurga..kecuali kamu seorg yg SYIRIK" sbb dr cara penulisan dan justifikasi berteraskan pemikiran moden ni semakin menuju ke arah itu. dan pemikiran mcm sy ini xde lgsung menyumbang kpd keinginan sy nak jd ekstremis mcm sistem Taliban tu yg adik dan kwn2 takutkan sgt.. atau paling teruk skali bawalah beristighfar byk2 sekali sekala..adik tahukan?
when me and frenz read this blog..we're all agreed..another "school boy" who think that his matured thinking and writing wannabe will stir and evoke a positive new mind set..leave aside the religion..hahaha
boy..there's way long winding road up ahead..but even at this first junction your so-called freedom of speech had eventually screw u up..good luck with it..
blog jgn x blog la sgt..hahaha
and Afiq think that many Malay Muslim not ready with cynical and sattyrical joke when it's not touchin the Islm teaching itself..
example..Allah..subsitute it with owl lah..lawaknye satirikal abis tu..ye ke? Masha Allah..
Are you a moslem?
he thought he is a Muslim..or the best i hope his parent was not the one who planted all the modernization thinkin in his head..
he assume by doin a clear sin..like adultery so eva then only he said he'll be a liberal Muslim..what a poor boy.
such a young boy with a big vision but too mess up with holistic understanding but still put his thought on paper is the best example how an "ajaran sesat" leader is born.
and the scenario will always start like this..the best part that most of the followers of this group were not 3rd class thinkers..but because of their too much "intelectual" thinking they wanted to ease their life in everything including religion. that comes to this kind of behavior.
he said that even if he not followin the path taken by other Muslim, that doesn't mean he is not a muslim. later, they will said no need to perform their pray because to make it easier, just spell their "niat" only.hahhaha..so i heard that old Islam is makin trouble to their kind of so-called modern and open Islam. more like a blasphemy i read..
..i pray he's still a Moslem..
cause if he is..he would have even a bit hesitation on discussing the issue based on the logic of humor and learning only..
perhaps the best way, he should understand the Legal Maxim of Shariah first.."niat tidak membenarkan cara"..not some haruki Murakami somethin like that as his prefered reference
he thought he act on a good intention..to help other in that sense, but he forgot that his action clearly down-minding his credibility to others..if he/she is a Muslim
As a muslim, i find this unnacceptable.
First of all, how stupid do you think of the non-muslims that they need these stupid subtitutes to pronounce those Islamic words correctly?
If your intention is truly good, of educating them, then as a Muslim, you should know that the right way to do that is through Da'wah.
or at least, you could have provided a proper pronounciating guide, without those quirks.
For the non-muslim who says "Ohhh you muslim cant take a joke!" and so on, let me make this clear: there are some things in Islam we can tolerate to, and some are not. Things relating to religion, should never be made fun of.
Im sure there are many ways, in which you can touch on the issue of banning those words, without making fun of Islam.
As a muslim, you have to uphold the sanctity of Islam.
I am not condemning you or anything...just as a brother in faith, it is my duty to remind you.
as Prophet s.a.w said;
"Either you demand good and forbid evil, or He (Allah) will send down a punishment upon you. And then you will make Do'a, and it will not be answered."
May Allah bless us, all Malaysian in this holy month of Ramadan.
..agreed with u Ramadan Al Kareem..
just worried to see the pattern nowadays..the reason why i never put a cap to my kids to write but to make sure their akidah is in the correct path..or else things like this will happen..
certain things can be tolerate in islam..but to make fun of its dignity is a BIG NO NO!! even for the sake of humor or favor to help other religion friend of urs.
put aside the encouragement u received from the other's..(especially non-muslim) regarding this matter..like the previous post they were all viewed this issue on the logical consensus only..but the hidden implication will reflect back ur dignity..in here or the lifeafter..
trust me..i'm not a fanatical or extremist..but i am grateful to be granted by Allah to see and find this kind of thing is definitely wrong..at least think bout the harden that have been put out by ur mom who carried u for 9 months..sayang dik akidah jd bercelaru mcm ni
mudahan di bulan yg baik ini dibukakan pintu iman dan semoga adik terkeluar dr kelompok anak2 muda yg merasakan blog adalah tempat meluahkan pandangan mereka walaupun bkn pakar dlm bidang tersebut..terutama agama.
..another proxy for "Ayah Pin" in the making ni..
kene plak dgn sokongan padu dr pembaca terutama non-muslim..lg la bersemangat
niat baik tp cara salah..mgkin inspirasi kot..tp sume topik dlm blog bincang hal2 keagamaan..
bkn x boleh dik..tp kalu still beringus niat je bagus pun x boleh jd betul..mgkin sbb nk jd moden atau 1Malaysia sgt kot
bkn salah..1malaysia pun 1 Malaysia gak..tp akidah kene jaga.atau jika adik betul2 berminat menulis hal keagamaan..sebaiknya pergilah belajar dulu
itu yg jadi mcm ni bila memikirkan guna asas logik..(cth ape salah pulak ganti name Allah dgn owl..lah, sian org kafir nk blajar Islam" sedangkan maslahah Syariah suh kita jg kedaulatan agama.
bukan x boleh..kang ngajuk plak kate ni kes koya terer sgt dlm blog walaupun ubun2 lembik lg, tp biarlah kene dgn jalan yg baik. ape kata bincang dgn know-how people..bkn setakat jd keyboard hero dlm net bukak blog sume. at the end, ini share kita kat akhirat andai ade org yg jadikan ur writing sbg panduan, dah sama2 sesat
TQ
wer ya live bro?
i see ya face... damn.. i knw wat todo wif ya f**kin brain...
adik, byk lg cara lain klu nk bantu kwn2 non-muslim tu....bkn dgn cara substitute mcm ni...sy pun pelik juga dgn bbrp perkataan yg rasa2 nye xpe klu non-muslim nk sebut, tp mereka yg buat benda ni mesti ada alasan2 mereka yg tersendiri, mereka lebih arif...maybe mereka nmpk benda yg kite x nmpk...
tp apa yg adik buat ni memg x sesuai...dan jgn skali kite permain2 kan perkataan Allah tu...dlm 2 kalimah syahadah 'Tiada Tuhan yang disembah melainkan Allah'...jadi adik sbg seorg muslim patut tahu pentingnya perkataan Allah tu utk dihormati dan dipertahankan...jgn main2 dgn benda2 mcm ni dik...
niat adik baik, cuma cara x sesuai...
no need for all the threatening etc..
it's a mistaken identity case usually face by any teenagers during their adolescent period..rebellious and challenging..
but when the mistaken identity crisis (in this case when u discuss about religion)might put other people to be in the same sinking ship..then we have to do the necessary
all this blog made by young teenagers expressing their thought is good from the way of developing their thinking..but when they try to go in-depth to things that they're really not a master in it..(e.g religion again) then, it's like a time bomb waiting to explode..and this boy was not the 1st case of this screwed-up mind happened in ere..still, pity them
worst come to worst, few of my frenz suggesting to forward this issue to the mass media, but i feel that it would bring insult and shame not just to the writer, but also their relatives and parent when realized how their child "akidah" were mess up by this kind of modern and open wannabe thinking..
still, these kind of people believed that they were acting on the good course without realizing the unseen implication of their contribution. just that when the majority knew about it, (newspaper etc) then they'll knew "when the shit hits the fan"..but i pray we don't need to go to that stage yet..TQ
..sian..kecik2 lg dah menghampiri syirik dan murtad..
..name penulis blog afiqdeen..bkn main bermakna dlm Islam..hehehe
sekali penulisan mcm org xde pelajaran agama..adui la..fail!!
hahaha
I am doing research for my university thesis, thanks for your great points, now I am acting on a sudden impulse.
- Kris
owh u r a modernised childish baby
go back ti ur mum
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