After a whole day of constructing a paper city for an upcoming ad for Sony, I decided to take a break and lepak on the bed. I found a few Cleo magazines (probably my stepmother's) lying around and noticed an interesting article about tips to detect whether or not your boyfriend is gay entitled 'How Good is Your Gaydar?'
In the article, women are warned to not be deceived by smart good looking men who wants to get it on with them, only to realise later that their spouses are gay and got married to them to lead a conventional life approved by society. And to get babies.
Coincidentally, I was chatting with a distant friend about a sticky situation he's in. Let's just call him Najib. Najib had a gay past. After a while, he resolved to put an end to his homosexuality and started to date a girl. Apparently, the girl was already in love with him and all he had to do is to 'declare' their relationship. Relationship bliss commenced until Najib had a crush with his classmate who happens to be a guy. As time passed by, Najib's feelings towards his classmate grew deeper, to a point that they are comfortable cuddling with eachother like lovebirds.
Afiq: So your gf now is a cover up lah?
Najib: Maybe. But i really love her.
Afiq: I love eggs. Can you imagine yourself with her in the future?
Najib: I donno anymore!!!! I don't want to break her feelings... Arghhhh!
The moment I realised that he carried on with the relationship with his girlfriend because he didn't want to hurt her feelings, I knew for a fact that the relationship is one sided. She is in love with him and Najib accepted her love, hoping that this turn of events is meant to aide his heterolisation (there is no such word) process. Sure it's not 'true' love but Najib thought that he will learn to love her as time goes by.
Maybe it's a good thing that Najib decided to become straight and proceed with the one sided relationship. This will not only stop Najib from committing acts of homosexuality, he will also have his lifestyle approved by his family and the society. But what if an old flame resurface and a Brokeback Mountain situation arises?
I've never condone homosexuality but I do however condemn people making decisions for the sake of conventions.
If Najib got into the relationship with his girlfriend because he wants to, I see no foreseeable trouble. But if Najib got in the ride because he wants to test-drive it and see how far it can go with his supply of petrol, I will feel pity for the car and detest the heartless driver for not committing to buy the damn car.
This is worldview by Afiq Deen, who is against homosexuality but according to Cleo, dating gay men is a big No-No so they provided a long list of the things you want to watch out for like condition of current/potential boyfriend's hair, facial hair, socks, shirts, jeans, music and TV shows. Yeah, I know, whatever.
Should women be worried if their boyfriends had a gay past? If they get married to their straightened boyfriends, will his gay flame be under wraps, only to combust in the future?
Okay it's my turn to "Arghhhhh!"
13 comments:
A friend of mine is in the exact situation except, she's a gay girl. In the end, she told her boyfriend everything and they're working things out now.
I think their love is to her homosexuality like chemo is to cancer. Side effects: Vulnerability, fatigue, anemia, hair loss. It sucks but it's for the best and things might work out.
Love can be worked on. Personally, I don't believe in that all consuming romantic love. Those are most likely to be short lived.
It might work out for your friend if he truly cares for the girl and if he is an honourable person.
That article in Cleo is a bit bias..dont u think so..Afiq??
but being a lesbian is a different thing altogether as most guys, i'm sure, don't mind their girl friend have a gay past.
But if its a guy, then most girls won't accept it.
why are you so interested in this topic btw?
What do you expect from Cleo? Its existence is to make women feel insecure and buy products advertised in the magazines, not empower them.
Most straight men think its hot for two woman to make out with each other whereas most women find men making out gross.
you want me to blog about my stamp collections?
Post that article from Cleo
So, do you have any taught, what's gonna happen to those straightened gay man after marriage? Maybe you can make a documentary video about them...Hehehe
Oh ya, aku ada add dalam Facebook. Sudi-sudi approve lah ya
~Mohd Noor Saifullah
Over-compensation can be quite telling too...
an UGLY TRUTH i guess??? wut a SPECIAL entry u have here... so whatever...
BTW I love eggs too. Scrambled creamy style.
Just believe this your ppast doesn't necessarily define your future, but that is not to say something won't as you say combust either. Measure of A Man by Sidney Poitier makes good reading.
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