Buffies

Buffies is another word for buff men, men who are excessively beefed. Buffy is a vampire slayer. Duffy is a singer from Wales.

Remember the "You're too fat to be a teacher" incident? I felt sorry for the overweight job applicant but I can't dismiss the fact that I can see how body image is important in any organisation (IT related company and political party excluded).

Let's say I'm a CEO of a creative company that deals with tight deadlines, frequent brainstorming sessions, prima dona writers, naruto-obsessed designers and frigid account keepers. Then a buffie with rippling pecs and Brock Lesnar shoulders enters my office to be interviewed. My first impression would be "He must be dumb." My second impression: "The gym is in the opposite building..."

Teruk kan? Bias kan? Diskrimanasi kan?

Maybe its idiosyncratic of me but I've known a great deal of buff people and most of them are, you know, at a certain expectection, dumb. I won't hire buffies. I'll tell you why:

1. They spend way too much time at the gym. Probably 3-4 hours. I can roast a whole turkey and feed it to a hungry family in 4 hours. I can also finish 4 chapters of the book I'm reading now: Ogilvy in Advertising.

2. They do too much research. On protein, muscle definition, protein, steroids, protein and neon green thongs. I know, euww.

3. Their daily schedule revolves around their protein intake in forms of egg whites, protein shakes and lots of meat.

4. They spend hours looking at themselves in the mirror. Such excessive practice of narcissism breeds vanity and vain people are dumb.

5. They are sexually frustrated. Buffies have small flacid penises. Steroids causes erectile dysfunction. And the fact that there is no workout to increase the size of the penis makes their body to penis ratio unproportionate. Sexually frustrated empoyess do not perform well.

6. Ikea don't have XXL size chairs.

7. "Are you sure you're not looking for the gym?"

So will I hire a buffie? Most probably not. Fast forward 2 decades later and you'll see me in an e-news tablet with a caption above my ever so youthful face (I became a vampire at some point in my life)

"Kamu Terlalu Malek Noor Untuk Menjadi Pengarah Seni."