SHOUT AWARDS

I went to SHOUT Awards yesterday. I initially thought that it was the first Award Show handled in english but I was later informed that it was the third. You see, english awards are always short-lived because they don't usually get the expected coverage, which means the sponsors don't get much air time.

I don't blog about award shows that I attended because I usually get VIP seats from friends and family but this time, I got a VVIP seat! The law of relativity dictates that this award show takes the cake and the next time I'll be blogging about award show will be about me winning an award. Hint hint. I was seated with celebrities. In front of me was Jaclyn Victor, Nikki, Rashidi and his wife Vanida and loads of familiar faces.

Beside me was Zarina anak pontianak with his boyfriend Caprice. She was extremely chatty and I joined in her conversation once in a while. I was witholding the fact that I'm Afiq from Afiqsays because I famously kutuk-ed her in my James Bond Malaysia entry (it was published in a tabloid magazine!). I know she knows but she doesn't know that I know she knows.

Behind me was Miss Malaysia Deborah Henry's goddess-like legs. I can confirm to you that her legs are made of chocolate and gold with honey glazing. He boobs however are yesterday's Paus.

The seat I was in was like a tanning salon. Every 10 minutes, a flash of bright light will glare over my glistening blue baju melayu, leaving me squinting like a dazed ostrich. It was like "The winner of Shout Award bla bla bla is.....

*Lampu gila babing*

Nas!

All the other celebrities will pat the winners on the back, shake their hands and congratulate them with generous smiles but the moment the winners make their speech...

They terus lost interest!

I can't blame them for being so self-absorbed. They make a living out of people recognizing them so when another person gets a huge chunk of attention, it is like losing a substantial share in a their business to somebody else. So of course they don't care. Of course they don't give a damn. Of course they will suck up to the winners and get back at them somehow. Dendam Membara.

The most memorable win was Upin and Ipin's. Hmm... Betol betol betol!

It got more interesting after the show when the celebrities and young social elites mingled. There were three types of people that hung about after the award show:

There were the untouchable elites.

They are not literally untouchable lah. These people are heavy duty corporate figures who made the event happen. They hung out at secluded areas and talked about business like you and me talk about food. Business is their food.

And then there were celebrities on the rise and established media people.

These people mingled in flocks. The constantly relied on catalyst to spread their networking. Berpusu-pusu diorang masuk guest hall to grab a drink and furiously throw their name cards to other people's pockets. They were all like X-Men's Gambit without the southern accent and a cool tongkat. Aspiring actors and actresses, with the guidance of their managers of course, tangoed through the whole crowd with NASA efficiency.

And not forgetting the celebrity Wannabes.

Most of the Wannabes were people dying to get into the fashion scene. They dressed up provocatively, hoping for a celebrity to point out "That's hot" for them to launch D'Jelita or Chantique. I've no eye for fashion and never bothered to pronounce Mouboussin correctly but I still think that the guy/girl in the picture has a whack sense of style.

I'm talking about the guy in the kain pelikat miniskirt over a overstretched spandex. Stylo kah itu???