Portfolio will be on Tuesday. Yeay. It will be an ending to a beginning and a beginning to another ending. Another end of a wonderful chapter of my design life. I have loads of things I want to design and it doesn't necessarily have to be buildings.
I would like to thank my landscape architecture student roommate, Sirul Rock for supplying me beautifully cropped trees and Suhail for teaching me basics of 3D max. After an hour of getting used to, I finally produced a few perspectives for my final presentation board.
These are some of my police station perspectives:
I really want to explain about the design but hey, no one cares. Not even me for the time being.
I'm really really tired. Really really really really tired. It's the aftermath of the final presentation. After three weeks of constant thinking and designing, the week after the presentation is bound to be a week of tireless sleeping, idle reading and music listening, it's like refilling the three week's absence of boredom.
DAP DAP, sikalang baru lu tau.
I told you many a time, DAP consists of racist twits who do not respect our constitution and culture.
I told you so.
I told you so.
We are not racist people, we malay. We go to chinese business establishment and get cheated and won't mind at all. Do you think for a second chinese people will even touch the tiles of a malay establishment? Maybe western-educated chinese in KL won't mind but not the rest of the lot. So when DAP decides to abolish NEP because they don't want race to become a barrier of a wholesome social and economic development, please anticipate the fact that the only people who will benefit from this is the chinese because malays are not prepared to survive in the chinese-dominated business atmosphere.
They can say whatever they want but Malaysia is very much a third world country with a third world mentality. A type of mentality where a privileged bunch of people can easily take advantage of the downtrodden. Where the priviledged can justify their hideous acts based on biased logic.
How's my BM? For comments or enquiries, call 016- 289 96kiss-my-white-glossy-ass. Heheh, another disturbing mental image you'll have to endure for a few days ahead~
Tomorrow's presentation day and I'm amused by how calm I am right now. After three years of constant procrastination, this dog finally learned a new trick!
I was waiting for my design to finish printing and decided to venture out to the unknown; I went to Carrefour. As I was strolling its empty corridors to the food court and amused myself prying over desperate salesmen and delusional housewives, I noticed an old women tagging along a seemingly stuck-up yuppy lady. We went to the same stall and as she ordered for herself and the old lady, she scold the old lady for constantly shaking her hands while carrying her yong tau fu. "Ape ni? Tumpah lah kuah tu. Janganlah menyusahkan I ok? Go straight ahead to the table..." The old lady tried to carry her yong tau fu and spilled a few drips of gravy onto the floor. "Go go go go, to the table!" the stuck-up yuppy paid the cashier, carried their food and went straight to a vacant table, leaving the old lady behind.
I shook my head in disbelief and having an attention span of a fly, I quickly gorge my mind with images of myself gorging.
After an hour of reading KLUE magazine in a public toilet (reading with my pants down is somewhat liberating) and surveying handphone housings, I went back to my car. Beside my car is a volvo with its passenger seat door opened. The old lady I saw earlier was sitting in it alone.
"Oh mak!" muttered a very shock pengecut.
"Nak, makcik ni, yang tadi tu."
"Terkejut saye. Minta maaf ek."
"Maaf lah nak ternampak anak makcik mengamuk tadi."
I sensed myself trying my best to somehow distant myself from the women. I didn't want to know what's up with her and her mother. I have loads of issues to settle with mine and didn't want to be burdened by another bitter child-mother experience.
"Biasa la tu, orang muda-muda makcik..."
"Dulu saya macam tu lah, nak sangat anak saya sempurna, cukup, senang."
Omg omg omg, she's spilling it! Wait, wait, wait. What the heck eh, listening to other people's problem is therapeutic. And there we were, two opened doors, a satria and a very savvy looking volvo.
"Tulah...."
"Sekarang die dah sempurna, die dah senang, die dah cukup tapi die marah dekat makcik. Biasalah kita nak buat ape lagi, tak pernah nak berbaik."
"Makcik ade kasar dengan anak makcik ke dulu?" asked the penyibok owner of a loud satria.
"Bukan kasar, tegas. Tak tau la die skarang kenape. Dah senang tapi tak senang-senang lagi. Susah je hati die. Apa-apa pun makcik jugak kene. Tak tau la..."
"Susahla ek.. saye pun bergaduh ngan mak saye jugak. Dah 3 bulan lebih tak cakap.."
"Iye? Sekarang rase macam mane?"
"Entahlah, rasa bebas sket kot, macam dah tak susah hati sangat."
"Pape pun nak, nasihat orang tua nih, pape pun buat ape yang kite nak untuk Allah, bukan untuk orang lain. Ingat mulut orang tua masin.."
"Makcik suke makan choki-choki? Saye ade beli lebih ni takut tak habis pulak."
Yes, as inappropriate as that might be, she'd accepted my buy 10 free 1 packet of choki-choki and continued waiting in the car.
I left Carrefour wondering about what she'd said and until now could not comprehend with the gravity of her situation. I guess life IS a cycle. You may not mean anything terrible with people around you but exuding anger and frustration is like a ride to the Eye of Malaysia. You will somehow get back to the same place, to the same state of reckoning. As I was nearing my emotional epiphany, I finally remembered I actually bought the choki-choki for my roommate. Dia pesan. I bought another packet at 7/11 on my way to UIA.
Thank god its a buy 10 free 1 promotion packet. What a money saver!
Oh yeah, introducing the very famous MAK BEDAH!!!!
And my man Dr. M admitting his Machiavellian rule of thumb. It's politics man, it's only natural. You stab me I stab you, huhuhu.
My final presentation is on Thursday, so as usual, I've been locking myself inside my room for days. Obscurity is my friend, everything else are fiends.
So I heard the opposition is taking over 5 states including KayEL. May be this a wake up call to all BN politicians: don't get too comfy in your homes and unclarified source of income.
Personally, I think BN is the best coalition to run the government but man oh man, they'd gone astray for the past few years.
It's a good but unexpected wake up call.
And who'd expected hotshots like Sharizat, Koh Tsu Koon and my very favourite comedian, Sammy Vellu to have lost. Yer see kids, anything can happen in politics. In the past few years, people have been urging Sammy Vellu to retire discreetly but he turned a blind eye. Hah, padan muka. He'd probably ran off to India to meditate and smoke pot. Why, I might even meet him there while trekking, crouching underneath a fly over or bridge like this:
And Shahrizat can finally have the chance of opening her cosmetic company she. All is well.
And my favourite winner is the very hot Izzah! Never mind she has a vindictive vengeful father. She is still the It-girl. She's my cup of grey earl tea. My santan in my curry. My forgotten tissue in my laundered clothes. She is all that, and more.
And my most unfavoured winner is the ridiculously ambitious KJ.
You know what I heard though? I heard they were an item when Anwar was still deputy prime minister. I heard lah. Kj Kj... you womaneater you... You're so vain.. I bet you think this blog is about you, don't you... don't you..... *why am I singing?*
Right.
Maaf, my inner bitch was acting up.
It'll be best for me to stop blogging before she takes over.
I'll probably be in a whimsy state again this Thursday so clear your blog reading schedule that day and make time for my blog. I'll probably have a series of moodswings and experience a NeilGaiman-ish philosophical moment. Man, even I anticipate my own state of depression. What a loser..
My favourite comedian aside from the legendary Russel Peters is Mr. MIC himself, Samy Vellu. Try reading this list of his most notorious statements and not laugh. Impossible I tell you, impossible...
1. Commenting on the speed and efficiency of Pos Laju's delivery system:"Besok kirim, hari ini sampai!"
2. At a TV interview, when trying to say he was ashamed, he said:"Kemaluan saya besar."
3. Samy Vellu once said in a speech:"Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orang-orang kampong di sini."One Pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai, buat apa bina jambatan?"and Samy gloriously replied, "Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"
4. Samy 's favorite quote on national television:"Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!?"
5. During the water crisis:"Semua orang diminta jangan membuang aiyerr."
6. Regarding social problems:"..orang-orang muda sekarang banyak hisap dada.."
7. At a blood donation campaign in Sungei Siput:"..marilah kita semua menderma dara.."
8. During the height of the Al-Arqam saga, he said in a press conference:"Saya gembira bahawa didapati tiada pemuda MIC terlibat dalam kes Arqam."
9. At an opening ceremony:"Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, saudara mara, sesudah semua orang makan kenyang, sekarang kita mempersilakan Datin Paduka Rafidah Aziz naik ke pentas untuk membuka kain."
10. Commenting about his modesty:"Sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar."
11. Pilihanraya:"Orang PAS selalu kafir sama orang, saya pun dia kafirkan."
12. On the leak issue at the Parliament:"Itu attap bocor sebab ada banyak sampah! Awak ingat saya kasi bawa naik itu sampahkah?"
One of the many meals I'd eaten must've been unsanitary, which might explain my severe case of diarrhea that includes headaches, a fever and loose motion.
It all started with a nightmare I had on Sunday, a compilation of many ways I get myself killed. It's like my very own Final Destination. Scary giler. I've been lying on my bed for three frieking days. Too tireless to sleep but too tired to get off bed.
I don't get sick easily so when I do, I sometimes have no idea how to treat my illnesses. So when I found out how sick I was, I asked a lot of people about diarrhea remedies, only to find out most of their ideal treatments are somewhat bizzare.
1. Drink a lot of 100 PLUS
2. Pil Teck Aun
3. A spoonfull of honey and a quarter glass of vinegar
4. Mahalah Siddiq's Chicken Chop?
5. A whole day's sleep
7. Eno
8. Milo ais
9. Sweet yogurt (the mid-eastern type)
10. A spoonful of sugar (must be a Marry Poppins fan)
I get that a lot in kenduris. Come on la makcik, I know for sure that you actually wanted to say "Jelesnye aku tengok ko makan 3 pinggan tak risau-risau."
It's a weekend of kenduris, from Kenduri Kahwin to Kenduri Arwah. Happy or sad, we gotta get ourself a chunk load of food! Food mediates extremes. It somehow moderate happiness and cut short sadness. It is a language understood by all, okay not all, with the exception of bullimics. And you know how kenduri hosts tend to boast their status by making their food extremely high in cholestrol. It seems like cholestrol is the currency for kenduris, the higher the content, the better the reception. Imagine a kenduri with low-fat rendang, curry with soy milk alternative and lots and lots of veggies.... Sayur? That category of food is oblivious in kenduri menus. More than one serving of veggies will invite raised eyebrows. "Tak cukup budget ke Mak Jah kiter buat banyak banyak lauk sayur ni..."
And when studies shows that cholestrol kills more people than road accidents, Mak Jah kita buat-buat terkejut.
Death rates caused by cigarettes do not even come close to deaths caused by santan and minyak in Malaysia. And yet the government think it is only suitable to advertize the danger of smoking. Why not making a Taknak ad about excessive use of santan and oil. (imagine a bowl of curry with an emboldened red cross)
Orangputeh mesti tertanya-tanya... "George, what is it with Malaysians and their fascination with crosses. I see crosses everywhere on the roads, on flags, on the telly and on curries? I love curry. Malaysia bagus... Malaysia buleh!
And my favourite winner is the very hot Izzah! Never mind she has a vindictive vengeful father. She is still the It-girl. She's my cup of grey earl tea. My santan in my curry. My forgotten tissue in my laundered clothes. She is all that, and more.
And my most unfavoured winner is the ridiculously ambitious KJ.
You know what I heard though? I heard they were an item when Anwar was still deputy prime minister. I heard lah. Kj Kj... you womaneater you... You're so vain.. I bet you think this blog is about you, don't you... don't you..... *why am I singing?*
